No Contact?

Before i tell my story I was curious about this "no contact" many of you are writing about? What is it?
flutterbye1414 flutterbye1414
26-30, F
3 Responses Dec 1, 2012

Ive been in a secretive relationship with an attached man who just so happenes to be my manager.... I started crushing on him and couldn't help but tell him how i felt about him. Even though he is my manager we are very close in age although I'm only 21. It's been going on for almost 7 months now. Him telling me that we are only a secret because of his superior position over me, not because of his "girlfriend" who he has been with for over 3 years and tells me she is more of a roommate... I told myself on day one, "all I wanted was someone to hangout with and have fun with".... but here I am 7 months later torn between the thought that someday I will be able to have him for myself, and the thought that this situation makes me look pathetic and weak! "Why am I giving him all this power over me?" Not only do i KNOW this is wrong but everything he says to me I dont really believe in the first place. I guess the thought that assuming everything he tells me is just a lie, for instance when he tells me that he cares about me, or that im "amazing" blah blah blah..." makes me feel more in control of my feelings and the situation. But am I really? I reacently met an amazing SINGLE man... he is handsome, funny, educated, interesting, sensitive...etc and wants to be with me, but for some reason i feel guilty!! So I stayed fateful to my unfateful, attached man. I want to find a way to detach myself from him.... Im done living off of crumbs. Please someone help me!!

Agreed that you should only plan to do the NC thing if you are 100% ready. You need a strong support system and a firm resolve that you value yourself more than the relationship and are positive that you are ready to end the affair. If your heart is not ready yet; don't set yourself up for failure it will only lead to the cycle of break-up and make-up.

Thank you...and I think I'm ready for no contact I just don't know if my heart is ready or if I'm strong enough to follow through with it