Let Go

Before reading, I suggest you read Never Regret Anything story first in case you haven't already (http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-The-Other-Woman/2758131)

"Something he will never let his heart reveal and his lips will never say."

The undeniable sounds of passion can be heard inside of the truck. It was wrong.  He was breaking the promise he made to his wife 10 years ago, and I was allowing it.  I've never liked the other woman, I've hated the other woman, but here I was, being the other woman.  

I promised myself I wouldn't be that woman.  I thought I had morals.  I said that it was a one time thing.  It didn't hurt anyone that one time.  But this time I was hurting his wife.  A woman I didn't even know.  A child that I had met.  The chemistry between us is undeniable.  I don't trust myself with him, and he can't trust himself with me.  I can't justify my actions at all.

We were sitting in his truck just talking.  It was innocent, but that's what they all say.  He caught me by surprise when he kissed me.  I didn't stop him, I only encouraged as my hands naturally went to his neck to pull him closer.  He's an aphrodisiac, something that I know that I don't need, but I want.  His hands roam all over my body, remembering the feel from the last time.  At some point, I lose my panties and that's when I realize what Jake wants.  I'm surprised we promised we wouldn't do this again.  We wouldn't let ourselves be put in a position, but its the moment of decision.  I want it, I know I do, and instead of being rational and thinking of his wife, I'm thinking of me.  I'm thinking of him.  I'm thinking of the feelings I have when I'm with him.

The windows fog as we get louder, and all of a sudden there's not one thought in my mind.  Eventually I realize that he's crushing my arm and as I move to free it, the sense of guilt waves over us.  I truly realize what I've done, what he's done, and what we've done.  As I straighten out my dress and he pulls his jeans back on, we try to justify it.  There are no reasons besides: we wanted it.   The hardest thing for us to accept is that we will probably never be able to be alone together again.  I can't trust myself with him.  I cherish our friendship, but I know now that I'll have to let go of our friendship to keep his marriage intact.

No matter how attracted I am to Jake, and he is to me, this cannot go on.  This cannot happen again.  We're destroying our relationship as friends and our relationships with other people.  I have also become the one person I swore I would never let myself be.  The other woman.
pinkcorsage pinkcorsage
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 1, 2012

You're human. Feel no guilt or shame. Be careful, though, and use wisdom.