What It's Like To Be The Other Woman

You are single, young and pretty. Life is going just fine. You are a confident, strong woman raising a few children on your own and doing a damn good job at it. Your social life isn't as much as some of your friends, but they don't have the responsibilities of children like you do. In being a responsible parent, you would never just bring any man home just to have fun. Still you manage to date occasionally. Then one day you are introduced to a handsome man and the two of you really hit it off well. You have to go because you have responsibilities and say good bye. He never asked for your number and you think oh well. The next day your doorbell rings. You answer and to your surprise it is the good looking man you met yesterday. He tells you he just couldn't stop thinking about you and had to see you again. You invite him in and spend hours just talking and getting to know each other. Time goes by and you are falling in love with this man. Everything couldn't be more perfect. You spend time together everyday laughing and having a good time. Where has this man been hiding all this time? You are now head over heels in love with each other. You want to see where he lives... your whole world is shattered in an instant. He's married! He tells you he is in love with you and can't imagine his life without you. Your kids adore him. You think well he is going to break it to his wife that he is in love with you and get divorced. Although he never said that, he did tell you he was in love with you and couldn't imagine his life without you. Same thing right? So you continue the relationship...  you are going to be patient and give him the time he needs to tell his wife. And time goes by. You try to end it, but he tells you everything you want to hear. Now you are on an emotional roller coaster ride from hell. One day you are on top of the world. The next, you are in a dark depression. You can't go on like this, but you love him! He's good to you and your kids have become very attached to him! How did you get here? You constantly question yourself. Since you are now keeping a secret, you alienate yourself from family and friends. Your confidence and self esteem begin to suffer. What do you do now? You find EP and lots of support to help you deal with the choices you are making, You begin to make progress then some ******* who has never been in your position and has no idea what it's like to be in your position, comes along and tries to heap even more guilt on you than you already feel yourself! They don't have a clue as to who you are and they sit thinking they are high and mighty looking down their noses at you telling you what a horrible person you are. For what? Falling in love? How does that make you a bad person? Isn't that what people do? My wish for all the people who come to this forum and judge us, is for them to fall in love and see how easy it is to just walk away from the one person that they love the most in this world. Until you are in our shoes and have walked a mile, you have no idea who or what we are! This is a SUPPORT GROUP! If you are not here to be SUPPORTIVE please don't post here. Make your own group and leave us alone!
totallytea totallytea
51-55, F
3 Responses Dec 3, 2012

Couldnt agree more, dont judge someone because they sin different than you. Sometimes people do stupid things when it come to love whether its staying with someone who constantly cheats on you or being the OW/M sticking around in hopes you get to live happily ever after. You live and you learn, when it comes to matters of the heart you never will make a decision because someone is telling you, you do it when your ready. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom in order to move on.

I couldn't agree with you more.

I will admit I have a hard time with the other woman. My husband of 14 years cheated on me with a ********. She knew about me, but didn't care because she wanted my life. She wanted my home, cars, job, husband, and his family. She worked and worked for over a year to get what she wanted. She has it now because I left him, but little did she know after him and I were divorced he was sneaking around with me. I don't agree with being the other woman, but we miss the part where the spouse that is cheating is the bad person. They are the one that is married and should be faithful. I hated her for a long time, but then I realized he is the bastard and she is the dumb woman who thought what he could give her was worth ruining her life for my life.

Good luck .....