Extremely Sad

Almost every day I cry from the pain, my heart is constantly feeling broken. Why.... Because stupid me has been dating a married man for almost 3 years. The worse part is I work with this man and its so painful to be around him. I'm almost always jealous and arguing with him. I feel he has this strong hold over me. I know he will never ever leave his wife and I know that if he cheats on his wife then why not me. I'm nothing just sex. He says he loves me but I can't accept those words. It's so painful that I have even contemplating ending my life. I need to get out but I don't see how when we work together. I can't leave my job because I can't afford to be without work and my pay is a decent one. Please any help/advice would be appreciated. I just feel like I'm drowning and no one would help me.
Puppy3135 Puppy3135
36-40
4 Responses Dec 4, 2012

Even if he wasn't married and even if you didn't work with him it would still be hard to let him go after 3 years... even though you realize he is just using you, you can tell by your pain that you care for this man.

The first step you need to take is work on loving yourself. You need to understand that you are a person who deserves to be treated with respect and deserves to be love someone who loves you back. When you love yourself you will soon realize that this man or any other person is not worth contemplating taking your own life.

Next you need to start job searching. You will never be able to truly end things while you are "under his wing" he will be too easily accessible and have too much control over you.

Finally, the hardest part... move on with your life without him. Keep yourself busy. Find something you enjoy doing - get a hobby. Read a good book. Keep posting on this website for support... that's what its meant for! :)

First off, You should never date a married man and get serious with him. Second, you keep work and personal life seperate. Third, you a damn fool to want to take your life for a man who DOESN'T love you. To many fish in the sea to die for one man who gave his vows to another. Find you a damn sugar daddy and quit messing with the married man. Love is special and you should give yours to someone who deserves it. When a woman sleeps with a married man it shows how little self-respect she has for herself.
Sorry to be so harsh, but I am the wife being cheated on and it hurts on this end too... Get counseling, look for a new job, and learn how to love and respect yourself....
Goodluck, love.

Sometimes the harsh truth is the best thing. I know how it feels to be on the side of wanting to take your own life for a man. When someone says that they need help and sometimes the "oh it's ok's" don't help. When you want to take your life for such a reason then you have deeper issues then a man..... So EAT IT!!!

Dear friend, I pray that you can see the situation exactly for what it is. This man has been using you for 3 years and has been betraying his wife, his family, the ones he is supposed to love and protect. The pain that you are feeling is real, the feelings of attachment are real because you invested a lot of time and emotion and physical intimacy with him. But as you can see, it hasn't paid off. It is wrong. It will be hard, but I urge you to stop all contact with him. Live your life as if he no longer exists. You are worth more than this! One day you will look back and think how crazy it was to consider ending your life over someone like this. I pray that your eyes would be open immediately. Time heals. Get help, see a good counselor, talk to a pastor (they have heard all of this stuff before!) You don't have to do this alone. But you CAN do it. And for future reference, a man who loves you will treat you like he does, not be ashamed of you and hide you. Hang in there and keep posting if you need to get it out.

I went through this at the beginning of this year... Same story, married man I work with etc... It hurts like nothing else, but once you are out of the situation you will have a much better perspective on things. I know it is easier said than done but pick yourself up and move on... You will come out a stronger person for this experience. I wish I could wrap you up in a warm hug and tell you that it will be easy, but it won't be. Just hang in there life has its way of turning around and time really does heal all wounds xxx