How Long Is Too Long?
So often as being the OW we forget that our MM has a lot to deal with also once it gets serious.
I thought he just wanted the best of both worlds. And for a while that was true. But there came a point when it wasn't just for fun anymore and having the best of both really didn't matter.
Before my MM became my husband, I was the OW for over 8 years. Everyone always asks me why I waited for him for so long. I never realized until now exactly why I waited. So I'm going to tell you.
My husband was fighting an inner battle that I was not aware of until after he left his family. He knew things that I didn't and he didn't want to burden me with them. He was protecting me as well as dealing with more than I ever thought. He was leaving more than just his wife. He was leaving his whole life and everything he had worked so hard for up until this point.
Besides the obvious material things, like the house, furniture, and cars, he gave away so much more than I ever realized.
My husband gave up a good Christian woman that had the patients of a saint with him for me. I'm a hot head with a very sharp tongue that can slash deeply and once those words are out of my mouth there is no taking them back.
He left behind his children because he knew they would want nothing to do with him if he were with me. They are all adults with children of their own. In giving up his relationships with his children, he gave up ever knowing his grandchildren.
.He left behind friends and acquaintances. He left his whole world as he knew it.
This man gave up everything that was dear to him just to be with me! How could he do that? Could I give up my kids for him if I had to? I don't think I could.
He knew how things would be if he left. He knew the kids would not want anything to do with him/us. I thought eventually they would understand and come around. He knew they wouldn't.
He battled this for over 8 years without ever burdening me with his thoughts fears and the pain he knew he would face if he left. How selfish of me to have him do this just because I wanted him all to myself.
This man loves me so much that he put himself through all this pain just to be with me. And I admit I can be a very difficult woman sometimes.
We just had our 3 year wedding anniversary. He truly is an amazing man. This is why I waited so long.