Update....4months 1day Break Up And Now This

I have now been with my married man for 4 months. I have falling deeply in love with him (I royally f***ed up with that. totally lost control) and want to do anything to make him happy. To just see him smile, to recieve a text from him and to know he his nearby makes my whole day worthwhile.

But...... Not so long ago he told me some bad news. His dad had been told that he had terminal cancer. He has kept me up to date on everything up till saturday where he told me his dad had deteriorated badly. He died sunday. I sent a text to let him know that I am here if he needs someone to talk to or even scream at. Being the other woman is difficult because i can't run to him and comfort him like i truly want to. I know he will be with his family and I understand fully, and truly respect that. The hard part is waiting and hoping he can see me as someone to talk to. Someone he can trust enough to open his heart to. To see me as more than his paramour. I can't call him to speak and ask how he is feeling. I feel like I'm grieving to, which is rather selfish of me. I as the other woman have no-one to talk with, so no-one can understand why I am feeling down. I hope we can overcome this tragic event and he sees that he can talk to me or take comfort from me. As I will be there whenever he needs me. If he wanted to stand strong, I would stand right next to him and if he wanted to lay down in pain, I would lay down right next to him untill he could stand again.
helena09 helena09
31-35, F
6 Responses Dec 11, 2012

i understand the loss you feel,,and your grieving,,now you need to live to the fullest,,enjoy your life and have fun,,,you will never loose his memory

I wanted to tell you "hey, leave him and go on with your life. You'll find somebody who'll be yours.. just yours who deserve all the love and care you have.".. but I would be hypocrite to tell u that. I myself can't do that.. but try to open the doors for others who would see your worth..

Thank you. I will try eventually to open more doors for myself. But i will be honest and say i love him. I never ever wanted to use them words but i do love him. He makes me happy i smile when i think of him or when his name comes up in conversation or on my phone. Even if i didnt feel this way and wanted to leave i feel i couldnt while he is going through such a tragedy. It just isnt in my nature. Im too emphatic. I have too much compassion.

Your the perfect woman for any man. The love and care you provide now will carry forward to someone that is available just for you.

I understand the heart wants what it wants. But if he is not intending to leave his wife, and you can't say he loves you than it is pointless. You are sex, and a person for him to vent too. That's all. You should persue other men to take your mind off of him, start weening yourself off him. It will help. Your on a path of heartbreak and devastation. If in the future you encounter another man that's married, or in a relationship you need to turn off feelings, and let it be just sex. If you cannot do that, then you should be looking for single men to sustain a loving relationship.

I do agree that i need to pursue other projects. I need to give myself a large reality check.

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You are doing the right thing, as you say at the moment its family time and he must be allowed to focus on that, your time for comforting him will come. I understand how you feel alone and unable to grieve but unfortunately that's a part of being the other woman and something that you seem to realise and accept. As hard as it is stay strong. :)

Thank you Hun. I am trying to stay strong. I have never lost control of my emotions this way before. He is someone that I feel the need to protect and when I can't it cuts me up.

I know how you feel. I am getting feelings for a man who turns out to be living with someone, and is separated but not divorced from his second wife. He is a musician, and i am a singer. It's complicated. The magic we feel when singing is undeniable. We text every day now, and joke and cheer eachother up all the time.But i will not succumb to the passion i feel for him, until i know he will choose me.But i am seriously getting very fond of him. every day even more. Dammit!Why does he have to be such a charmer?