Just Wondering.....

I have been talking to a couple of wonderful friends about this, but want to see what others think that have also been in this situation. Here is some background and my question......

MY MM and I have been together for almost a year now.... we met online and have seen each other often. We spend alot of time online and text and call multiple times a day. We meet for "visits" whenever we both can, which isnt often, but we make the most of the time we have. He has never told me he is leaving his wife. He has never said the relationship isnt a good one. It is just that we have found something so special, so fulfilling, that we cant let each other go..... and I have no problem with any of what I have just told you. I am perfectly happy with how things are and am not looking for them to ever change. Now that you have the background, here is the question.....

I have read on here how hard most MM's try to hide the relationship... purchasing prepaid phones, out of the way meeting places, no texts or calls.... mine does none of this. He texts multiple times every day, calls at least 3 times a day, and always calls to tell me goodnight and that he loves me... I can count on my hands the number of nights he has missed that call... and even then I still got a text. When we meet he makes no effort to hide his vehicle, which is one that is very easily spottable.... so I am wondering... Does he want to be caught?

Now, to those who are going to bash me and tell me how awful I am and how he doesnt love me and how I am just a piece to him, save your breath, you dont know me or him and I am not asking for validation, or to be told how wrong this is... it is our choice and we will live with it. I am happy in the relationship, very satisfied with my life.... just a little confused and wondering if this is a normal thing or not.

Thanks for any insight into this and helpful advice is always appreciated.

MlovesM MlovesM
41-45, F
4 Responses Jan 7, 2013

Is it possible that they have an open marriage ? Or that his wife engages in an extra marital relationship as well ? Unless he has some concealed animosity against her, I don't see why he would intentionally want for his wife to find out about the two of you. My MM doesn't flaunt our relationship, but he isn't completely discreet. He knows if his wife found out about us, it would likely be a huge mess for all concerned. His marriage would surely be over in this case. As much as I sometimes wish she would discover us, I am not a spiteful or vindictive person seeking to cause intentional hurt. However, I recognize that it's inevitable one way or another. Their union will be over. It's totally his place to be honest with her about the state of their marriage, as hurtful as the truth is.

No cheaters wanna get caught. Perhaps he doesn't care as much if he was too but I think he must know his wife clearly doesn't pay enough attention to what he's doing & with or he has alot of good excusses & lies. I cheated on my husband while we were together and I texted & made calls in the bathroom, other rooms & even in front of him saying it was my best friend.

I can actually relate. I am Married, and was in a relationship very similar. Basically its a thrill,if anything he is not looking to get caught, and perhaps is loving you but in the way he finds fit. I did the same thing, parked my vehicle in plain veiw, associated myself in public, and when everything came down hill, i just had to deal with it then and there.

Hi there.

I most certainly wont bash you. But no MM wants to get caught out by the wife, if he did he would be honest and tell her himself.

My MM calls me everyday without fail, also texts too... all from a phone he uses for everything. He meets me exactly where she knows he is going, so he never does anything out the ordinary. But she does suspect he is having an affair, why because he is coming in very late and a few times has had mud on him.... but he still doesnt want to lose me as a friend... Its never easy being in a relationship with a MM, because we will always be second best, no matter how much they say they care or love us. Can you truly be happy knowing he may never be yours completely??

If you feel the need to chat you can message me if you like.. i will always listen and try to advise if i can.

Good Luck hun
x