Hurting, Confused And LonelyOk here goes my story... I know what I am doing is wrong and I need help and courage on how to deal with this. I never realized how many people were out there were in the same shoes that I am in.
I 've been in a relationship with a MM for 8 years now. We have broken up on and off numerous times. We met at work, where we both worked for numerous years. His wife has found out numerous times and has given him the option to walk out and leave but he doesn't. He claims he stays because of his kids. But I don't think that's the real reason. I've had conversations with his wife in the beginning and everything she tells me is the opposite of what he tells me. Its like he lies to her to keep her and then lies to me to keep me.
He sits there and tries to plan a future and a life with me, but all its been is broken promises. He wants me to have a baby and I refuse to, cause I know that would be his guaranteed way to keep me in his life. I finally put my foot down and gave him an ultimatum and told him he had a deadline. The day came and went and nothing, and it caused a big fight. Finally I broke up with him right before thanksgiving, I had enough. I was tired of the lies, the secrets, and always being hurt and alone. He claims that he will be with me for good in February but deep down in my heart and gut I don't believe it. Its like he always lets me down why would this time be different. I don't believe his words, his actions are always the opposite of his words.
I know I should completely let go but I love him and that's the hard part. It hurts so much. But I know I deserve to be happy and this situation I am not happy. I am alone and lonely. I have no partner to support me like I should. I am a single mother and its hard. My daughter loves him and looks at him like a father, but he doesn't commit. I know I am strong enough to walk away and never look back, I've done it and not contacted him for a month..