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Just Typical Of My Addiction To This Toxic Situation

So as I have done for 4 years, i disappear when things are going good and I get wrapped up in the tangle web of broken promises and empty words. I passed my cut off date, and all because after his accident he begged m to ot leave and he was positive what he wanted now and was gonna put things in motion. That was now 2 months ago again...and this is how it can go on for years and years. I am truly amazed, he knows just what to say and do to get me to cave, and I am just disgusted in myself. The holidays were just devastating, after Christmas which he spent with his family I told him I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and I would not stay a day past March 1st. That gives him 2 solid months to make a plan and show me with his actions this time. In my heart I know he will not leave, he hasnt even looked at one apartment and its mid january already, I am setting myself up for disaster but i dont know how else to do it. I hate this, I hate what this has done to me as a woman and I have never been so torn. Things have slowly gine downhill again, he went back to work after christmas and suddenly the attention and solid promises that he made have diminished...i said it 100 times it feels like there is no way out.
meshka0304 meshka0304 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 10, 2013

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hi there
i'm in a similar situation - not sure if yours has kids, but mine doesn't and i feel like that's the next nail in the heart he'll present me and i'm dreading it. to the point that i'd rather end it than experience it. he said the word divorce finally came up 2 months ago and has since drawn out a big plan to which would have us together in june...now because of her financial situation, he says 2014. I've been hurt by him before - he's asked her for a divorce before...and yet, we end up in the same place. i just had a fantastic vacation with him that left me depressed upon return and now i'm just seeking the support to finally end it...and it KILLS me because i'm madly in love with him. i see my life with him...and i can only imagine what you've been through after 4 years. i'm in year 2 and everytime i try to leave him...the emptiness grows to the point i don't want to do anything. i've read that it helps to talk to ladies in a similar place, so please tell me what you think will help you get past this. remind yourself - that he's just a man who's giving you WAY less than you deserve....and love can happen more than once in life...i'd love to chat more to help us both

thank you so much, nothing i have done has helped me much..i have gon to counseling for 3 of the 4 years we have been together..and dropped out because I am still with this guy so counseling was not helpful. not sure if you read my stories...of the times he moved in and moved out and how she knows and she says nothing to him..not one word. almost like its a game to her to keep him there she dont want him but she sure the hell dont want him with me. He does have twin boys that are 7, but if you read he and i are together everyday of the week ad weekend...we own property together a 5th wheel trailer together and she just dont care. This is crazy and if you would think about it maybe one night we can chat live, like facebook or email or txt cuz this waiting for response is driving me nuts...i need help and i need it now before i lose my mind. I am in buffalo ny, i am a nurse with 2 daughters..i love to ride my harley with my MM i am not a psycho other than being with this ***. please consider chatting.

I feel your pain...
Four years is a long time....and you know the statistics.... I read somewhere that an affair with a married man is like an addiction.... you need to go to some type of rehab to get out... I'm not at that point yet as I still have hope. But your situations sounds like it has reached the end.... he is getting all the benefit of the relationship and you are getting none...
I don't know what to tell you as to how to get out... I can only say that it sounds like the time has come for you to do it..... Maybe you need to move to another location? Change your email and phone number and just cut ties cold turkey.. you've given him your final word....now you need to make good on it...
good luck... it cannot be easy...