My Feelings Toward All You Other Women Who Know Full Well You Are The Other Women.

I dont believe in bashing on Experience Project because this place is about supporting, empowering and finding common ground amongst people. That being said I feel that you experience this, the other "other" side
You are destroy homes. Your house is empty, obviously, since you're waiting for your "MM" who is your part time lover and you empty the "established" home. I was the causalty of my bastard father having one of you and it wrecked my chances of ever having anything close to a happy home with a mother and a father. Saying that a home was already wrecked before you got there is not only a sad excuse for your behavior BUT clear indication of your ethics. I honestly want to know, honestly, how can you be the "other woman" and say you sincerely have a healthy amount of self-esteem and respect for yourself? How does that work? He is your no.1 and you are his no.2 to hell with all that pillow talk he gasses you up with after he gets his nut off and how he "gazes" in your eyes like your the only one that matters cause you're really not. 9.5 times out of 10 he chooses the wife over you, why? Because that's still his wife if he really wanted you he would be with you regardless of the cirumstances divorce would bring. He is disrespecting you and disrespecting your time and your commitment. You deserve better than that (hmm or do you?) its like you're so selfish that you are willing help break up a home for your desires but yet not enough to realize you deserve a mans full attention and unattached commitment the same as you're giving him.

My heart goes out to all the faithful wives that have got to deal with your kind, to all the kids that my suffer. Middle finger to the fathers! and to you women, I just look down.
Kaizen1993 Kaizen1993
18-21, M
18 Responses Jan 11, 2013

Generalizations are never a good thing.

Yes I truly understand how u feel. I am sorry.

I no longer am the o.w. Learned my lesson the hard way no more married men for me.

I think you should start putting the blame on the husband not the o.w.

i get what you're saying but sometimes i wish there had been another woman to lure my dad away from the family. he wasn't a good father or husband and we would have been much better off without his prescence, life would have been more peaceful in my household. he cheated on my mother but never struck up a lasting relationship with another woman. too bad.

I was the other woman.. and you know what.. I really do have good self esteem, values, morals. You should never try to judge anyone whose shoes you have never had to walk in. Yes he was married .. on paper... but yet went home to a woman whom was just as unhappy as he was. after being together 20 years .. neither one wanted to be the first to say goodbye .I guess... When I met him, he pursued me, was I wrong for entertaining the friendship.. oh heck yes I was... but at the same time.. i was drawn to him and he was drawn to me. What is meant to be together will eventually come together. I dated this man 5 months before he moved out of his home. could the situation have been handled better, uhhh yes. do I feel bad... uhhh nope.... call it selfish. ... but i feel like if you are a married woman and you are miserable in your marriage then you are just as crazy as the other woman on the side .. and why do I think that.. because.. life is too short.. so if you are miserable but yet you stay in your marriage for financial reasons and any other reasons then you are opening the door for situations like cheating, straying and etc.... Its always a flip side... no one wants to even look at that.. I mean... we can say all day long.. .why would any woman date a married man.. i say... why would any wife put up with a husband that cheats?... If a home is truly a happy home then in my case.. the married man wouldn't have fled... who runs from happiness? the home was unhappy and wrecked when I came into the picture. and yeah I've heard it all... what goes around comes around... you will lose him how you got him... all that may be true... but you know what .. the only difference between me and the wife is.... IM not afraid to walk away... treat me how i deserve to be treated or you are no longer needed is my moto.... the love of my life left his wife for me and our relationship is a good one.. sometimes ... marriages don't work... sometimes some marry for the wrong reasons and sometimes some stay in marriages for the wrong reasons... the man he was with her is not the same man he is with me... I was living a very productive , fun, life before I met this man matter of fact he said that my personality and my energy was what he was drawn to when he first saw me.... that wasn't an act.. Im full of love , life, and laughter... he was lacking, love , life and laughter in his marriage and in his life... tried on more than one occassion to salvage his marriage.. using the advice I would give him.. because we are friends more than anything and i wanted to see him happy... even if it wasnt with me.. with that being said.... His decision to end his marriage was all his... and Im happy he did... and I dont feel bad about it at all... every situation is diff.... married women with husbands that cheat arent all victims. know that

Sometimes ... marriages don't work... sometimes some marry for the wrong reasons, and sometimes some stay in marriages for the wrong reasons... all unfortunate realities, but nonetheless TRUE . . Bravo, & thanks for sharing

only god can judge, therefore you are not god. so keep your moth shut, I do not agree with the issues they have put themselves into. but its not my right to bash someone for something they did. remember god does forgive, and in this blog people are searching for forgiveness. for they do not feel it in there hearts, they feel like there whole worlds are upside down. they are looking for support to find the person they are and to move past the issues they are going through.

So ******* true, I totally agree especially the lack self respect or self esteem these women have.

Every situation and person is different. You cannot judge these situations as a whole and the same. I am sorry for your experience with this. My father also had a woman or women on the side and I have also been the other woman.. I have two perspectives on this and both stories are extremely different. Not all affairs are bad, always depends on the situations surrounding the affair.

I was the other woman. He lied and I had no idea. When I found out i told her what happened and that I was sorry. I told him we couldnt see each other again and I havent. Not all other women consent to being the other woman. Im devastated and I do miss him. We did share great times together. It wasnt my fault. I didnt break up a happy home. If I wasnt with him, he would have found someone else. Im sorry that your dad ran off with someone else and if she knew about his family, then she was wrong too. But I still think that more blame should be put on the person that made the vows for better or worse.

I am very sorry that happened to you. I really do feel bad for you. I very much do realize that there are devious men who string women along like you making them believe they were single. That's why I made my title very specific, this goes out to the other women who knows damn well they are the other women. I am sorry that you were decieved aswell as for all the other women who were decieved, they are victims of lies. That being said though I have the uptmost respect for you.

Im not sure how it may come across to readers but im not giving any kind of leniency toward the husbands/fathers involved. The reason I dont address them as much is because this group, my audience is "other women" I'm telling you my feelings toward you specifially. Why come to your group and discuss anyone in depth othe than you. I'll say though that I do look down on the men moreso and once I find that group I'll tell them so in depth

I heard and got what you said LOUD && CLEAR! I've never been the other woman, and never will be! I've had friends, family members that have gone through a cheating marriage, relationship && some have BEEN the other woman and the entire situation is awful! I hate to hear women say "he's married, not me"! To all of them home wrecking number 2's or what I like to call "runner-up's" you are indeed a woman too (I use that term LOOSELY! HA!) And I hope that one day if ur lucky enough to finally get a man of ur own, you feel the SAME pain that a wife && his kids feel! Oh and so there is no confusion, I'm referring to the "women" that knows he has a family at home!

Don't forget there are devious & selfish women out there too . . those who are simply looking to hook up with a man for his money, to be financially dependent & supported by getting pregnant intentionally to force a stand-up guy into a marriage that isn't based on love, respect, or compromise . . In denial, convinced that this is the guaranteed way to keep him & have a happy union . . it's a total farce. YES it still happens & IS NEVER a valid basis to marry. Yet another unfortunate reality . . women do in fact lie too to get what they want ! Then they are so shocked to find that their husband has strayed ? Is it any wonder ?

I dont know why women gloat in being the other woman. I find it embarrassing to be second. The dude tells me Im special to him. Good thing I got his girlfriend on speed dial. He will get busted every time he try. Im so not flattered that I mean so much. The way I see it is 2nd place is the first loser. Winning Ms America by default is no victory at all. Married and dating me, please go away!!!!!!!!!!!

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I understand your frustration, but I was the other woman and im now his wife. Sometimes relationships dont work out, but instead of bashing the woman....maybe you should bash the married man or father. After all....he is the one that made the vows before God & man, not the other woman. Im just sayin....

So now you're his wife, your situation is considered to be the outlier. But even if it wasnt let me ask you this, is the end result supposed be make the process of being part of a willing affair OK? Yeah this worked out for you, but just because it worked out for you does that mean it wasnt wrong? Wrong sh*t/bad decisions work out all the time in life. But they were still wrong sh*t/ bad decisions right? What im really askin is do the ends justify the means? Sure you being the wife now was supposed to serve to refute my agument that the man will still choose the wife over you in the end. But realize this, 1) Your situaton and similar situations that work out like that are outliers, outliers are real and they happen. 2) I realize that and said 9.5 times out of 10 the man chooses the wife over you. that .5 was space for those outlier situations.

I'm sorry you are so angry. I too had a father who had many affairs. What you come to realize as you get older is that you don't pick the circumstances life gives you but you do need to take responsibility for your actions...and it takes two to have an affair. The other woman doesn't do it alone.

I grew up with a father who did that sort of thing regularly. I watched what it did to my mom as she got older and couldn't do as much. A few years ago, I had the opportunity to be the other woman. He and I clicked really well, and I knew it wouldn't be more than a fling, but I thought of my mom, and I thought about how I feel about men now. I couldn't do that to his wife, and had he had children at home, I wouldn't be able to do that to them either.

I don't know if it is a lack of self respect that makes a woman be 'the other woman', but I definitely think there's a lack of respect. As a human being, we need to recognize that what we want a little can really hurt someone else a lot. Even if someone has no respect for marriage or a desire be in one, they should at least respect that someone else does.

And, if someone is really that miserable in their marriage well, encourage them to legally separate. If they are good enough for someone to be 'the other woman', they are good enough to wait a month for them to be separated.

Also I think that if you look at the bright side of life things generally turnout better. like if your the wife that gets left you could look at it like, 'hey she got rid for him for me!' or 'now I have more time to myself!'

You are correct.!!!! Just remember ...... if the men said no the "other women " would have no one to "play with ". Just saying.......

I completley agree 100 % You dont see me arguing that at all. Like I said middle finger to the fathers/husbands, they are just as bad.

So many times the wife finds out and stays. She is condoning the behavior.

Perfect! Many times the wife knows what is happening and She prefer stay in this situation. I'm the OW, his wife knows me, she talks with me. I wont live with him now. I 'm not jealous. Where is the problem?

I agree with you Harrie51.... 100%

harrie51, do you think that men only cheat if their wives aren't having sex with them? do you think that men can have a satisfactory sex life at home yet still cheat?

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I was the "other woman" now im his wife. so blah. plus his wife actually like me. every situation is different please don't generalize and only worry about yourself. thanks.

Sometimes the other woman or man is a relief from the life that he is living with his family. I m a married woman n I am not saying it's morally right but there are times when I need something new and exciting to make me happy and a side relationship is perfect for that. I would never leave my husband but human beings are not naturally monogamist so why is it wrong to let nature take its course sometimes. It depends on the person and their values as well. Family comes first over **** any day for me. I think your so upset because maybe your husband left you. This is the thing keeping his interest in ur relationship is ur job, but his sexual desire has little if anything to do with you. People are aroused by what they are attracted to, n the truth is attraction fades, but love doesn't have to. Sure u can make sure u keep urself groomed, n try not to gain 600 lbs but the most import thing is ur love and respect for one another. As to ur comments about the "other woman", most of the time the other woman is being treated better than the wife n that all she wants. The other woman likes the fact that he leaves his home with his wife to come be with her. She likes the danger of getting caught, n the mystery of the betrayal its a turn on! She like the fact the the married man showers her with complements, and gifts because he is overcompensating. One last thing about the other woman is that she gets most of the positives of the relationship and none of the responsibility. So don't feel sorry for her, n don't make the mistake of thinking that the other is somehow incapable of getting her own man because she got urs so that means that somebody was interested.

I am a male...a heterosexual male so no this dosent stem from my man leaving me lol. You say you have a husband and side relationships, does he know about them? Is needing excitment a viable pass for deciet (im assuming he doesnt know about them)? Is the fact humans are not natrually monogomist or the mystery of betrayal supposed to be a comfort for the other women to potentially ruin a home? Is that not the epitome of selfishness though?

Ill be the first to admit I have a strong moral compass and I also believe in karma.

u address nothin of wat I say, ur wordz r useles....

I used to think the same way as you, but as I've grown up I've realized that the world isn't so black and white. Sometimes wonderful people get caught up in questionable circumstances.