The Feeling Of Truths In Being 'The Other Woman.'

This situation is complex. I've forgotten respect, morale, and my worth. When I first met him he was attractive and we shared a connection. I went out of my way to contact him because I couldn't get him out of my mind. He seemed to be interested in me as well because the flirtation and eye contact he gave me in return wasn't innocent. I was at work so, I figured that's why he didn't go out of his way to get my number. Luckily, I was able to pull up his account and get a hold of his phone number. Little did I know... the number that was on file was his girlfriends. When I texted the phone number simply texting his name she replied" who's this" I replied with my name she replied" from where" and I replied with the name of my company. She then stated it was his girlfriend. Quickly, I replied with something professional by stating I was only assuring we properly took care of the account we were working on earlier. Surprisingly, she stated that was extra customer service and thank you. I was so embarrassed! I couldn't believe what I had done. I risked my job for someone who already has someone. Weeks, days, and months passed by... I received a message from him stating" I wanted to make sure that you had the right number since you went out of your way to try to contact me." I was surprised he had let so much time pass by also curious of how he was able to retrieve my phone number. I apologized for any inconvenience I had caused with his girlfriend etc. since apparently he had to defuse the situation. After a phone conversation, I discovered they are in an on and off relationship that he wasn't sure would last or not. He wanted to keep his options open by getting to know me. He said if I would like to, if not it's cool. I was curious to get to know him which is why I agreed to get to know him as well. We met up for the first time to have lunch. Nice conversation, eye contact, and compliments. Week later, he took me downtown for drinks and a lounge area. That's when we shared our first kiss finally. It was so passionate. At this point, I told myself if I feel like doing something I will do it.. plus he's not married! "If you're not married, you're single." I've never in my life been the other woman nor a home wrecker this was something different for me. He's charming, a man, and takes care of everything with no hesitation. That's what drew me closer to him. Later that evening, we for some reason started talking about kids. Which is when I decided to ask if he had any kids. I didn't think he did however, he admitted that he had a son with her which is why their situation was complicated. "It would be easier to leave her if we didn't have a child together." "I don't want to deprive my son from having both parents around." apparently he grew up with separated parents. "Why aren't you just married already, you have a two year old." he said
"because that would mean we are taking the next step which I'm unsure I'm ready for." I was in shock. It killed my thrill, buzz, and evening. I didn't imagine him to have a child. In fact, it all made perfect sense. Men always have those complex relationships with their baby mama's. I asked him if they lived together and he said that it had been 6 months since they've been living separate... but I don't think that's true because he's never able to talk in the evening. He only texts me in the day time. I believe that everyone comes with baggage it's about determining which baggage you're willing to put up with.. I told myself this man came with too much baggage. I let a week pass and he invited me to a fully paid trip out of town.. I declined because it was too soon in the relationship to be taking trips and share a room which would involved engaging sex. I let him know that it was too soon.. I also let him know that maybe I needed to distance myself from him because it was too much for me to deal with. I also didn't like the fact that he lied about his age. I'm 22, he's 32. He told me he was 28. If you're lying about your age what else are you lying about? it was stupid of him to lie about his age but, he's never felt so old he said. He didn't realize how young I was. I told him age is nothing but a number. So, a month or two passed by and I still couldn't get him off my mind.. His charm, class, and handsomeness. It wasn't long until I contacted him again with a simple "Hi" my logic was that he was honest enough to tell me about his situation when he could've simple hid it. Also, he hadn't tried to have sex with me yet which made me realize you teach people how to treat you.. Shortly after, talking again we rekindled our connection by going out to dinner and drinks with a little dancing and love making in his car. The thrill felt amazing I hadn't lived like that in a while. I always live life with restrictions by over thinking everything... does it make me a slutt ? because I know he has a woman waiting for him at home.. I work for my own I don't need to depend on a man. He tells me I work hard and he was going to relieve my stress so, he spoiled me by booking a suite at the Hilton, wine, and a full body massage with oils, and dinner. I didn't have to worry about anything. Our connection is strong why doesn't he just treat me like another girl if I'm just another girl? The way he looks, touches, and kisses me isn't a lie I feel something... He even cuddled with me after sex and took off the condom to feel me raw.. I don't know what I was thinking I shouldn't be letting him do that! What's wrong with him though he's not concerned about his relationship.. what If I was untrustworthy and spread something to him.... Now I'm stuck. I don't know if I should continue this affair.. It's all joy when I'm with him, when we're apart is when I have to debate where this will go..... I don't want to grow attachment.. I'll eventually want more than what he can give me.. it scares me..
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 14, 2013