Its Complicated

Hi there. I have been ”the other woman ” for bout 3 mnths now. It started @ wrk. We just clicked, there was this crazy crazy chemistry between us, I stil cannot fully describe it. We both married, I hav no kids, however he has 3 girls. He is a very devoted dad, very humble person. Within days of workin together, we had our first kiss, it was wow, we both wanted it to happen. There have been a lotta complications from both our sides, and working together became an issue. At first it was pure lust, bt now 3 mnths later, we fell inlove with each other. When we together, nothing else matters... Its only us... He told me he love me coupla weeks ago, and I beamed. I do love him so much. I know this is wrong, what we doing bt it feels so right!!!
sophia1512 sophia1512
31-35, F
9 Responses Jan 20, 2013

It's funny - I've been there. Now it's been over 1 1/2 years and since we have committed sin, talked about stopping several times and were angry with eachother, he got divorced & moved away, I quit talking to him then and we reunited. Roller coaster! We have seen eachother once and now that its "reality" and less compounded and/or intense I'm at a loss. I don't know how I really feel. I used to be head over heels - now I am confused!

This was an article sent to me that I thought was worth sharing. 360* perspective. We all want and deserve love but never at the cost of others.

<p>Hello everyone,i am a single mother of 2 lovely kids,i am seperated for 8 months now,before i meet the man i dreamed to be with forever,but it will stay as a dream this is a dream wont come true.Because even if i know that he has a family and i am just a part of his buisness,i still go and live with him,but what should i do i may be a stupid a mistress or whatever they want to call me.I love him and i dont know what to do if i lose hurts everytime i heard him calling his wife my love,saying those sweet words,and everything.I am jelous,i felt envy to her,because she is lucky to have a husband like him,and shame on me for nothing.....I know what it feels like being a mistress or other woman,and i also know that it is not right,it might be immorality having an affair to a married man,but were only human who feel in love to a wrong person.....

<p>Have a moral compass...have a heart. Like it or not, you and this man are a willing participants in violating your vows and betraying the trust of your spouses -- not to mention grossly disappointing and hurting innocent children. You have zero right to hurt others because of your selfish needs. </p><p>Despite his reassuring you how much you mean to him, his not ending his relationship with his wife in an above-board and respectful way -- and not beginning a legitimate relationship with you -- are actions that speak louder than words.</p><p>You are a hard body, a fantasy an escape. And you are making yourself oh so convenient. Bottom line in the end you are the easier option to discard. Everthing else would be too painful and messy. </p><p>We all want to feel loved and be loved. That is human nature but finding love that is authentic is real. Your lies and deceit are not real. Do you really want to "win" this man? One it's not a game, you are playing with people's lives and two, wow...what a "prize"</p><p>I hope you have some faith in your life to find a way to truth and honesty. God has a path for you and I can assure you this isn't it. God loves and forgives. Look for His guidance so you can be proud of the person you are. </p><p>Being involved with a married man and cheating on your husband while thinking you have something special isn't "winning" and shouldn't make you proud. Who you are, what you have achieved in your life, being humble and caring, put others before yourself, protecting innocent children by doing the "right thing" those are traits that I would hope you'd aspire for. </p><p>If you both truly love each other then be honest with your spouses. Own up to the affair and move forward. If you can't/won't you will continue to live a lie and hurt innocent people. </p><p>My heart breaks for you. If you were my daughter I would shed many tears.</p>

Get a life 4truth! You are not even brave enough to write your own story and you cut and pasted this one all over this group.

What a laugh. How about building YOUR own life and stop playing in other's. You are neither brave or secure enough to build something based on honesty so you play around in other people's lives because its easier. What a coward you are and I truly pity you. I do. I pray for you to see the light and the truth. May the Lord be with all those that have been hurt through your selfishness, greed and hate. My words are ones that I hope provide wisdom and clarity not judgement.

Sophia, I wish you luck. Follow your head and what you know is the right path to take. God bless.

I have been there so trust me when I say if u got together for real and the excitement is gone and you become this normal couple who sees each other every day how would it b in reality,you will always be the other woman to his children his family and everyone he knows,the one who wrecked his relationship and took him from his children,8 years I was the other woman and trust me if u do make it to being together you will not b the same coue u are now

I feel you.It is not an easy journey. The more I see him, the more time I want to spend with him. The few scheduled meetings just don't cut it anymore.But what is the way out without hurting everyone around us.
Oh and to make matters worse, in my case I don't even know if he feels the same way I do. You can be glad that your feelings are at least reciprocated.

What's both frightening and thrilling is hiding and doing everything in secrecy. I'm on the other side of an affair being the male counterpart. I love her but yet I lust for her too. Sometimes, I just want her to feel alive. And I feel like a savage beast in the heat of lust. Maybe it's because I'm getting old that I don't feel the burning desire of a woman under normal circumstances so it must be self-love in some ways. You can't extinguish the fire; perhaps it's better to let it burn for a while until it dies down a little. Then, you might be able to extinguish it without too much pain . . .

Thank u for ur response, we have talked bout this countless times, we worked out a schedule where our seperate lives are involved. We got quite good at sneaking around bt I'm reaching a point where I want all of him and not scheduled visits. He is sucha wonderful person, we speak with no words and yet completely understand each other. How are you dealing with your situation? Do you eva wish that you can have all of him? Undivided affection?

I constantly want him all to myself :/ He invites me over to his place or a place where none of our friends would be at. It's so secretive it's emotionally draining when we are with other people and we pretend nothing is happening.

Someone once told me if you love someone you can tell, bt when you inlove with someone everyone else can tell...

We try to avoid being in public together but it does me crazy to know he presents himself to others with his girlfriend instead of with me :/ yet I don't want to push him * sign*

Would you be willing to leave your husband for him? And would he be willing to leave his wife for you? You must do things right or people will end up very hurt. especially the kids. I know how right it makes you feel. I have been the other women for about three months also; since our first kiss in November. I can't start to explain how right he makes me feel when he kisses me but I'm sure you understand. You want to juggle things but eventually it'll be too hard. You must both decide together what is best for everyone. We're both on this ride together.