How Could I Have Fell For This?

I am recently separated. I started out as friends with the MM. We would text each other and talk about all types of milestones in our lives and about our hopes and dreams. It was really innocent or so I thought. He started stopping in during the day as he owns his own company. Things just escalated and before I knew it we slept together. The sex was incredible and the first time I had been with someone since leaving my husband of 15 years. I knew he was married but he was so unhappy in his marriage, or so he said. We continued on for the next month but then he stopped returning my messages right away and would just act cold to me. He was up and down like a yoyo. This was such a heart wrenching game as I felt that I was in love with him. The hard part about this is that we run in the same small circle, his wife doesnt. This means that we do periodically see each other. He will always message me after and tell me that he misses me and wants me. The sad thing is that every time he does this I lap it up! He won't really see me now but I keep hoping he will. I think it's sick and twisted! Hoping that this feeling goes away soon, been like this for months. I am tired of mooning over someone who doesn't want me.
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 22, 2013

Hi there, not sure what your mm is really like. Cake eater, narcissist, passive aggressive????? I Was in an affair for almost 3 years. My mm did / said all the same things to you. Yes I lapped it up too, like a puppy. i look back at it now and can see i was being trained ( he trained dogs). My affair has been over for several months, finally the affair fog has lifted, can see so many troubling things.

All those long talks with your mm, I suspect were are way to get to know you and your vulnerabilities. He was feeding you a supply, saying things to keep you hooked & tailoring his actions based on intimate knowledge of you / your feelings. It is also a form of manipulation making you feel like the most amazing women in the world. If he really cared about your well being he would not play with your emotions. My mm did this to me, learned my vulnerabilities and then used it against me.

If you run into him, Do do not show your hand, meaning put on your best game face mask and do NOT show him your emotions or show any feeling. Do not contact him, if you see him just be cordial and go on your merry way. You are MUCH better than crumbs he tosses mixed in with his passive aggressive behavior. Be well and stay strong.