I Am The Other Woman

Caught In A Horrible Dream

By: Livedandloved

Written on January 27th, 2013

I met this man with striking blue eyes when I went out to a coffee shop about a year ago. I caught him staring and I hid a smile. He walked up and say down next to me and let's just say we hit it off. We had the same sense of humor the same likes and oddly enough the same dislikes we even finished each other's sentences. We exchanged emails and numbers and went on our way back to our lives. He never rushed me, we went on so many dates I can't remember but the weird thing is I do remember every single detail. After three months we finally made love and it felt so right. Just to have him hug me sent sparks through me. His eyes melted my soul. He always had excuses why I couldn't go to his house and after a while I thought it was very odd. He was an instructor pilot and worked long hours many times very late. But I stayed up with him emailing and texting. I was very much in love I was smiling every day and everyone noticed. I told my family about him. He drove a nice car and was successful. I am a med student and I guess you can say successful. I never thought too much of myself and school takes up all my time so I never looked for a man. Then the worst day of my life happened. I received an email from my babe, but it wasn't him, it was an angry and bitter wife. I was called everything in the book and told I ruined the lives of four children. Four children I never knew existed. In fact, he was telling me he wanted me to have his child as my first. We were actually trying. I didn't respond to her I was so shaken. I'm very reserved and didn't know what to say. It took a while for the email to sink in and when it did, it hit me like a brick wall. He tested me almost immediately after saying someone hacked his email. No, she sent family pictures to show me the lives I ruined. But I didn't know. I'm so hurt but I love him still. I can't deny these feelings anymore. How did he see me for all this time? How could he hold my hand and tell me he loved me and that I was his soul mate and go home and live a completely different life than I thought. How mean how cruel . He tells me he's leaving her but I wouldn't want him to come to me after. I can't be the reason for the divorce I couldn't stand the thought of that. I'm miserable I can't sleep I can't eat I can't do anything anymore. She's harassing me nonstop all the while he's right there trying to console me. He comes to my house every day with flowers I never open the door I'm dying inside I need someone to tell me from experience. God I love this man what if we did conceive a child? That's all I can think about, what if.

By: Livedandloved

Age: 22-25 , Female

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5 responses

4Truth

You were played, duped, used - whatever word you want to use. I am sorry for your pain, I truly am. But you sound pretty level headed. Do you really want to be with a man that is capable of living this dual life and hurting and betraying so many innocent people, you included? Ask yourself...what do you really "win?"
You are the lucky "winner" of a liar, a cheater, an ego maniac. Hmmm, doesn't seem to be much of a prize.
I doubt you could ever truly trust him. How could you?
As the mother of 3 beautiful children, how dare he disregard his children so easily. He wanted to have a child with you so it would give him an excuse to leave his current family. WOW that is pretty honorable.
Regardless of what he says or is true about his wife. He, as a man, as a father owes his current children more.
Even if the spouse doesn't care about him or you do not care about the spouse (which I bet she'd have a VERY different version on things). I have witnessed first-hand how it affects the children. My daughter lost her hero, a person she thought was someone she could always count on. Through the affair and lies it taught her she wasn't as important as her daddy's desires. I pray this does not affect her relationship with men as she grows up. A daughter needs a father so she will have at least one hero that will never let her down and demonstrate unconditional love. A son needs a father to be an example of a man he should inspire and grow to be - not one that is so selfish he puts his needs first and disregards his obligation to his family and current children. What kind of man/father would he be?
I understand you have feelings for him but I would look at finding out the truth as a blessing and tell him to go pound salt.
You are smart, beautiful and intelligent. You can do better and should want to do better for yourself and your future children.
Good luck.

Jan 28
1 like
achieveisbelieve

You are very smart. Keep up with what you're already doing by staying away from him. He would've turned very cold and hurt you even more had you became pregnant. You would have been shocked and hurt way more than now. Let yourself heal. You'll find a man who deserves you as long as you don't settle for one who doesn't. Take care

Jan 27
1 like
Livedandloved

I wanted to add, I hate that he lied to me this whole time but I do want him still. He told me it was a failing marriage he was in it for the children. He wanted me to get pregnant so he could leave and come help me. But no that's not how I wanted it. It was supposed to be the perfect family. I still want him though I want him to stay. I want him in my bed not with her. I love him more than any other man. Why me?!!

Jan 27
1 like
- Toliveandlearn
  Honestly, my opinion is that he never truly loved you. Real love is based on honesty, trust, and respect. Based on his actions, he did not have that for you. You got conned by a fake. The rest of the stuff about him trying have a baby with you in order to leave his wife is more excuses to minimize his deceptions/ have you brush things under the carpet/ lure you back to him. He had 4 children still in his care but yet he told you he wanted to make another baby with you when he was cheating? This is pretty evident of his irresponsibility or evident that he was playing with your emotions the whole time.
  This is gonna hurt but I think you fell in love with an "illusion" of a dream man this guy created. I know your love was real. It will be hard to let go but you should. I really believe you are better without this loser. I really think he would not be the same person you thought he was. If he could cheat on his wife and 4 children (with no moral dilemma) he could do the same to you.
  Things could have been a lot worst had you not find out sooner. I had my own hard lesson with falling in love with a fake but mine was long term.
  Also, You did not break his marrige. He did it. He chose to lie to you and his family. You did not know he was married with children. Good luck and stay strong.
  
  Jan 28
  1 like
- aod7909
  Why you...because you fell in love. My favorite saying, "You can't convince someone that they're not in love. It's a remarkable emotion, impervious to logic and turning the most measured people into risk takers, willing to do anything to maintain the feeling". The journey you may take can be long and lonely or amazing. It is not for me to try to encourage or discourage you, but I will be supportive of the path you choose. Good luck.
  
  Jan 28
  1 like

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