What Have I Gotten Myself Into? (Temptation Continued....Again.)

Months have gone by since that kiss. Many kisses have come after that. He bought a prepaid phone so he could text me privately. He would call every lunch break he had just to hear my voice. He bought me gifts and brought me lunch at work. Many secrets and lies have dragged themselves with it. Every time I leave the house to sneak out with him I feel a rush of guilt, then I see his face and his smile and it goes away.
I know I’m wrong for what I’m doing. So that’s why I finally told some one. My guy friend, he’ll understand. He’ll help me. He actually cares enough to get me to do the right thing. I texted him and told him almost everything, and he advised me to tell my parents. I will. Eventually.
Out of all my friends who I’ve told, (3) none of them asked how I felt, or how I was doing. They all just want to know the details or make me do the right thing. But if you stop for a minute, and ask me what I want, and how this whole thing made me feel. I’d tell you.
I texted the MM and told him that we need to end whatever this was. It’s been 6 months of the lies. And I couldn’t even look at myself. I was never this girl. I would never get between a love so sacred between a man and his wife. At least, I thought I wouldn’t. I was the “Other Woman”. I was his secret. I didn’t want be someone’s secret.
He texted back:
“I know, but my feelings for you have grown since that kiss. I don’t want to stop.”
I texted back:
“You do know that this is going to just blow up in our faces, right?”
He replies:
“Do you believe that God has a one true love for you and you didn’t want to wait for them so you just decide to marry someone else? I think you’re my one true love.”
I turned off my phone and threw it across the room.
I do not want to wake up tomorrow. I don’t want to go to church anymore. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to see her. I just want to rewind the clock and forget this whole thing ever happened. Why was this happening to me?
What Should I do?
itsmomojo itsmomojo
4 Responses Jan 29, 2013

To be honestly he sounds like a jerk. He doesn't seem to care about you at all, he only cares about himself...but that's what I'm getting from this post. He provides for you by gifts and lunch, he wants you to fall in love (or infatuated) with him. Don't let him. Be true to your feelings, you need to let him know that this is your life too and you need decide what's right in your life. You;re young, bright, and perhaps a little naive. I was too when I got into my mm relationship but I can honestly say that mine cares for me. He wants me to be happy. Can you say the same about yours? Can he let you go, in order for you to be happy?

I am in a similar situation, however I have some years of experience and baggage that I don't think you have quite yet (that, in no way is meant to be condescending, but as a preface to my story). In saying that, you would think that after 31 years of experience and gained wisdom and never being with a married man, one would know better and steer clear. Not I.

I am not proud of my behavior for the past six months and neither is he; however, there is a connection, chemistry, there that cannot be explained. A feeling that we've known each other forever. We both wish we had met each other 6 years ago to give that connection a chance to see where it would have gone. What is done is done, though. We see our relationship for what it is. DISPENSABLE. We do not regret our relationship, only the fact that it has hurt not only his wife, but myself and him as well. If that makes any sense at all.

Pertaining to you and the comments your MM has made as you've tried to walk away (it's very hard, I know).... Ask yourself this... he may mean (or think he means) what he says, but is it fair for him to say that to you? Absolutely not. It is a ploy to get you to stay, to string you along, and (as posted below) take advantage of your innocence.

Take it from me, keep your innocence and your want to trust people and believe they have your best interests at heart for as long as you can. You can do this by looking out for yourself and making people gain your trust. I find it hard writing this to you because I feel as if you may perceive me as a hypocrite, but I am not at all. I am not judging, just speaking the truth. Men are so hot and cold. It still amazes me. And the fact that I know this and continue to do this to myself is insane. (reference Einstein's definition of insanity)

We all make choices in our lives, the MM made the decision to get into a marriage for fear of being alone in the future and now he is unhappy (or so he says). You didn't make that choice. It is not your burden to bear. Whether you are or aren't his soulmate, sweet nothings filled with false promises lead to false hope which leads to an emotional rollercoaster ride that you, my dear, do not want to be on.

Whatever decision you make, I hope the best for you and hope you save yourself countless hours of wondering, crying, and worrying what the future holds and enjoy your 20's with people who will not disappoint you in the end. And, know that you will find love elsewhere...love that you are deserving of. Let him live his life. Trust me, he probably has some seriously bad habits that you are really not prepared to have to put up with. If it is meant to be, it will be. Good luck.

By the way, I do realize I need to take my own advice...I am walking away from him. Again. You have inspired me. ;)

That, was truly inspiring. (: Thanks so much.

Well that just went from bad to worse :/

Use comes in many forms, my dear. Just because he's not beating you up against a wall or mooching things from you doesn't mean he isn't manipulating or imposing liberties on you that aren't within his right. You've gotta be the stronger person and bring this to a stop. You don't need his permission or his OK to know this is something that will get you both in trouble.

But it's only if you want it. You'll ultimately do what you want, and everyone else has to respect that. It's your life. Just know that all things done in the dark must come to the light -kanye shrug-

Sweetie listen to me and listen well. this man who you barely knew kissed without provocation after you babysat his child. In the home he shared with his wife and child?
My gut reaction to your post this is completely wrong. He is taking advantage of your youth and inexperience. You re heading down the road to heartache. I am inclined to think you are one of many and there's a trail of broken hearts behind this MM. Run fast and far.