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Another Weekend

Only something feels so different about this weekend.... It all started thursday... That's are usuall last day to talk til monday... (That just sounds so stupid ) ... Well this thur i was not wanting to talk to him i knew the goodbye for days was coming...I was very short and sort of cold with him... Friday i worked a double.... came home sad... (even though we say gb on thurs. we usually talk a bit on weekend) wasn't home 5 mins and got a call from a friend.. ended up coming over with two friends and playing cards til 1 in morning... It kept my mind off my so called man!!! Went to bed and went to work a double sat once again wasn't home but a few mins and got a call from a friend that got locked out and it's 10 out , i was like ya come on over of course... We are somewhat new friends and actually didn't like each other at first at all!!!! We had a few beers and a long talk about men and sex and relationships and life ... one of the most real conversations i ever had in my life... And my man came up... She wasn't easy on me... Even though she has been here herself..... ( i'm ok with this, just what i needed) She was real blunt and honest about the good and the bad..... So i went to bed with alot on my mind ... Today i go to work and just was down when i came home ... Next thing you know i get a text from him .. Now typically i get that excited/ happy to hear from him feeling when it's him... In today's case i cried... (Before i even seen what it said)....I didn't want to respond....This is the text i open ... "Hey baby good afternoon i imagine you are working i had a free min to say hi... so i thought id text and say hi..feel free to text back im home alone til six anyways .. bye"..... instead of being happy to hear from him the text pissed me off... (got a free min, and , home alone til 6)..... It took me an hour but i did text back a simple "hi" .. we had a very very brief text convo... i think he got pic real quick..... I can't be this person anymore!!!!!!! I can't allow myself to be second best... I think the worst thing is i've maybe started to believe i'm second best and always would be!!!! I feel like my eyes are open right now and my heart is closing to him... I feel so weak right now, yet it's when i really need to stay strong and do what's best for me!!!!!
cjustmec cjustmec 41-45, F 5 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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Agreed that no people want to be the second best. We need a person there for us and not when they are free and not monitored by the other half.
My mm used to text me such message like I'm able to get out from 3-6 while she's out for dining with friends. It made me cried a lot upon receiving this msg instead of longing to see him.

Be strong and we would get through i. Stay there just like each and everyone here though it hurts like crazy.

Yes they can't have wifey catching on to them talking or seeing you. It gets old fast. I just finally dumped mine...they are weak and wimpy if they can't be with you a 100% they are not worth it.

I agree!!!

I am in the same situation. I think the same way but feel different... I wouldn't say I feel second best. He puts me first plenty. It's a feeling of this just isn't enough and it's not worth it. The reality is, there are other men out there that are just as wonderful and also come with weekend availability and no hiding (more awesome life & loving). I don't want to be just the best woman, I want to be the only.

You completely captured that realization when you talked about the texting availability that only comes with seeing a married man. Who the hell wants to be "on call" for someone else?! Yep, I am feeling this too. It's like the second that hits your mind, the whole relationship gives you a nauseating feeling and you're reminded of it each time he texts. What a change! A 180 degree turn in feelings. When THAT feeling outweighs the positive then it is the time to go.

We owe them no apology for giving them probably one of the best relationships they've ever had in their life... after they thought they never would again. I think I am what he would've had if he had waited to marry a woman, instead of a girl, and made that lifetime choice as a man with the wisdom of age. He owes me no apology because I chose to get into this relationship with him and I don't regret a moment we spent together. He was great. His knowledge of how to treat a woman he loves was lightening and was at least part due to his marriage experience. Men grow, in that respect, from longterm relationships and it blooms when they're with a woman that truly likes, appreciates, and respects them and they love.

You gave him his second chance. Respect his decision and your own. That is a part of love. Maybe date a divorcee next time. For now, go live!

I am so glad to know i'm not alone... I felt that way until i found this site... I have no clue what today or tomorrow brings, but thanks to people like you i know i have support ..... I agree that i want to be the only.. After everything i have been through i don't see me dating again for a bit... When i do if i'm not the only i'm not there!!!

I don't think I will ever date again this was the last of many going no where relationships and he even promised me my first diamond ring what a liar..... With me it is different I don't respect this man at all or his games.

This is one of those times in your life when the obvious is to say screw him and u will find better and u will b number one in their world and so on... However, that's easier said then done when uve gotton urself into this routine... U seemed almost irritated that these friends were taking up your time just in case he might have gotton some free time and then I wouldn't b able to respond the way u would if u were alone, right? I hear ya cause I know how this feels!! I know what it's like to fall in love with a routine where u go to work doin doubles and u don't have someone bitching at u cause ur working so much cause he's busy as well and granted he can't hang on the weekend but he took up ur free time when u had time away from ur doubles... Anyhow, u do deseeve better then occasionally being the number 1 cause he's not leaving his family and uve already avoided him enuf to know its time to let him go an get a new friend or lover,, go ahead and cry cause its gonna prob take a minute to find someone that understand u the way u feel that they should so take ur time and talk to 100 people and find someone that makes u laugh cause u need some fun in ur life so get out there and find ur new friend with the best sense of humor lol lol

Your so very right... I don't feel ready to look yet but i do deserve to live and laugh... So thank you!!!

i dont know you but Im proud of you and stay strong!!!!! You deserve the very best!!

Thank you so much!!!