ScaredWell I have worked for my company for about 7 years. I've known my MM for the entire 7 years because he is actually my boss. Over all the years that I have known him, he would come in and out and we may have spoke occassionally but usually nothing more than a hello or thank you. I had always felt drawn to him yet always kept my feelings to myself due to being a very shy person. About a year ago, a situation came about where we actually spent time outside of work. We grabbed dinner and had a few drinks and overall had a great time together. I was able to see a whole new side to this man that I had never seen before. Well that first night led to many more, usually we were together atleast 3 times a week. It progressed into a wonderful friendship. We hungout and enjoyed each others company, he'd confide in me, id confide in him, we would talk for hours about everything from our childhood to our love lives to the business.......everything. Several months into our relationship, he leaned over and kissed me while we were saying goodnight. Just a very sweet peck. It happened so fast and completely shocked me, I was completely exhilarated. I knew his situation but I guess my feelings for him completely clouded all the negativity about the situation. For several months after, we had still not progressed past kissing. It was 9 months before we were intimate despite the fact that we both knew we wanted to. It was amazing, not only the physical aspect but the mental as well. We have continued our relationship to this day and I truely care for him and I believe he truely cares for me too. From his own admission he states that he feels trapped though he is completely unhappy with his situation. I have so many thoughts and feelings that run through me daily because of this whole situation. When I'm around him, my heart beats faster, my chest feels tight, my stomach flutters, I get completely overwelmed......and it scares the daylights out of me. I guess because I worry that things are never going to change- that I am always going to get what he can give when he can give it, that I make him happy yet he leaves me to go be with the woman who makes him miserable.....I don't know what to do.
An EP User 7 Responses 1 Feb 11, 2013