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I Am The Other Woman

I Did It! Thanks For Everyone'S Kind And Not So Kind Words....

By: turkey6
Written on February 13th, 2013
This morning, I texted the MM that I had made a decision and that I was going to tell him. He could call me or I could text it to him, either way I was going to get it out. Well, he called and I told him that I had made the decision to walk away from our relationship and this includes any communication (so not even going to be friends). I deleted all his numbers and facebook account, set everything to private also. He was not surprised that I cut it off but he was surprised that I didn't even want to be friends. I explained that it was better this way and that it was too easy for us to re-ignite.

It was a good ending to a potentially painful experience for me. I am a little sad but I already feel less anxiety then I have felt in weeks! It is such a relief. I do expect some highs and lows over the next couple of weeks but I will stay determined. I expect to see him around from time to time (we live close to each other etc) and that I would absolutely be polite and friendly.

I will miss our friendly and flirty conversations but I am proud of myself for finally making this decision.

Thank you for the advice everyone. It helped to hear it and read other's stories as well. I hope I learned my lesson from this and will stay away from other harmful secret relationships in the future. My advice to others is to reflect inside yourself and realize that you are worth more than "breadcrumbs" of someone's time. Someone who you can never call your own. If you can keep it light and casual and don't get anxiety/develop feelings, then wonderful. I can't do that and I acknowledged that. It's over. Thank God.
By: turkey6
Age: 31-35 , Female
628 people have read this story

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19 responses
  • CancerianBabe
    CancerianBabe

    Wow i must say u seem very strong. I went weak after our awesome connection esp. via physical intimacy (which i dont get with hubby) but then again thats no reason to cheat.

    I wonder when my "mr. awesome" will get out of my mind.. even after he heartlessly dumped me, he crawls into my thoughts often although i really dont want him to!

    Apr 6
    1 like
  • NewEngland
    NewEngland

    Congratulations Turkey6! Stick with your decision to skip the friend thing, as it will only make things harder. Plus, as I wrote before, any time you spend thinking about what he said, what he mean't, blah, blah, blah, is time spent mentally distanced from your husband - even if he doesn't know you're doing it, or why you're acting so distant.

    Feb 23
    1 like
  • girl12friend
    girl12friend

    Hi, how are you doing so far? I read in one of your replies that the affair robbed you of your family and your husband. I totally agree, I felt the same way. My husband and I took a weekend vacation to San Antonio, Texas ... we had a wonderful time laughing, enjoying each other’s company and the intimacy was great, plus sex was amazing!! :) You know what has helped me along the way is focusing on the negative stuff about Mr. Wrong!!! I was searching for something that I have had in front of me all this time.... unconditional love from my husband. I am so happy you had that moment of reality cuddling with the man you said “I do” to!! We chose our husbands for a reason... they are a reflection of what we wanted for ourselves. Keep your eyes and your heart open towards your husband, focus on the smaller things he does for you ... to me those count the most. Let’s remember why we married our husbands!!! Pray with your man!! I do, and it is a real humbling experience.

    Feb 19
    1 like
    • turkey6
      turkey6

      I am doing ok. I definitely have my moments of wishing that he would just txt me to back to being happy it's over. I am just getting through the days and trying to focus on what else I can do to make this all go away. I still feel better about calling it off and I know it's the right thing to do. I am definitely trying to focus on my husband and all the wonderful things he does and contributes to the family.

      Feb 19
      1 like
  • rolllerskatekey
    rolllerskatekey

    ok be strong..make lots of weekend plans...

    Feb 15
    1 like
  • rolllerskatekey
    rolllerskatekey

    ok you did it for one day now? how do you feel? be strong ok?

    Feb 14
    1 like
    • turkey6
      turkey6

      Better each day. I have moments where I just want to txt, but I hold back. I am keeping myself busy and trying to drive the nagging thoughts out of my mind. It's torture. But after a couple of weeks, I'll be ok.

      Feb 15
      1 like
  • lovesiton1
    lovesiton1

    I could've written that. Well said and I understand completely.

    Everytime I get that sinking feeling, I remember that I was feeling that way before the breakup. So, getting back together with the MM is not the cure, it's the elongation. The only time you really feel good is when they're their for you. That's so wrong. I felt better before I met him than I did the last month we were "dating".

    I like how you cleanly and respectfully left. We have nothing to hate them for. Hell, it's not really about them. It's about us knowing what we want (and it's not a MM).

    KEEP IT UP GIRL!

    Feb 13
    3 likes
  • Johnny5188
    Johnny5188

    You don't have to be mean to him but you can never talk to him again or say hello or anything are you will fall right back into his trap

    Feb 13
    2 likes
  • keepalidon
    keepalidon

    What a great post. I don't even know you but all I want to say is I'm proud of you. You have helped me become firm in my resolve to end it and get on with my life. Thank you

    Feb 13
    3 likes
    • turkey6
      turkey6

      It's day one and I'm feeling strong. I'm going to take it day by day. I'm here I'd you do decide to leave and need some pep talk. I'm sure I will have low moments.

      Feb 13
      1 like
    • keepalidon
      keepalidon

      Thanks for your offer. I definitely need some pep talk. This is going to be harder than I thought. But you give me hope. I hope you're doing well today. I know Valentines can be really hard. Hang strong. Remember you are valuable.

      Feb 14
      1 like
    • turkey6
      turkey6

      Thx! I actually did wake up and wonder if I should contact him to just be friends. But I told myself "nope". We can't be friends. We can't be anything. I was so happy before getting tangled up with him. I was happy before and I will be happy again. I slept 6 straight hours last night. That's a first in a long time. I belly laughed with my kids and genuinely cuddled with my husband last night. Being stressed and anxious over the MM robbed me of that. Robbed my family of that. I gave myself a gift yesterday. Peace of mind. It's not fully here yet but each day I get a piece of it back.

      Feb 14
      1 like
    • keepalidon
      keepalidon

      I'm so happy for you. I will definitely need to stay in touch. When I end it I will have no one - no husband and no children at home. However, it is still a gift I need to give myself Anything is better than this stupid limbo and secrecy Have a wonderful day. You deserve it!!

      Feb 14
      1 like
    • 2springers
      2springers

      Its been a week for me today. I simply told him as wonderful as the relatiionship feels, in the long run , it is a badi dea.
      I received confirmatiion from him.
      He is older than me by 15 years and was looking for fun and a distraction. Not for me. We have known each other for several years but entertained this situattion only for a few months.
      Better sooner than later.It was not going to ever be different.

      Feb 17
      1 like
    2 More Replies
  • RedheadedRock
    RedheadedRock

    Way to Go! That isn't an easy choice to make. Don't forget you are worth more than to be someone's dirty little secret!

    Feb 13
    2 likes
  • girl12friend
    girl12friend

    Keep that strong ground...and great job for seeing the situation for what it truly is, and not let your imagination run wild with those lovely fantasies that we know will never become the reality we are really looking for. I speak from experience I just recently let go of my fantasy, i went through withdrawal !! I had an emotional affair with a married man for 5 months. Its hard, but time is our healing... I found my strength through prayer, Jesus was always with me and he knew what I was going through but of course our choices are of free will and no matter what Jesus will always stand by our side and make a way out for us. God is so good and works in mysterious ways, he showed me grace through my husband.. My eyes have been opened and I see my husband in a new light, this emotional affair took me on a rollercoaster ride of fear, anxiety, depression and disappointment when I thought it was suppose to be the opposite. Reality hit me in the face, and I am so glad!! I am still working at it. Take care and God bless you!

    Feb 13
    2 likes
    • turkey6
      turkey6

      Wow, this brought tears to my eyes. You explained it so perfectly (the roller coaster ride). Incredible. Keep working at it and chat with me anytime if you are having any low moments.

      Feb 13
      1 like
  • n1BB1t
    n1BB1t

    Good job... I was in the midst to keep distance with my mm but I had to see him during work everyday. You are brave able to stay clam as he stay near you. I do agree for those who could keep it light and casual could continue but I can't too we just love them too much but kneeing we couldn't have e entire them. I'm also the one who initiate to leave too just couldn't survive with breadcrumb anymore.

    Do continue to share your status and feeling when you are on your way to heal. Your stories is just a boost of encouragement for those who are in the midst of struggling to leave their mm. Thanks for sharing.

    Feb 13
    1 like