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My Wasted Years Waiting On Him

Here goes I met this man about 10 years ago knew he was married but never was attracted to him lived with him and his wife. Then on the day that i decied to move out he apporached me and told me that he knows how i feel about him and he feels the same way too, at that time i didn't know what to say one part of me said run and the other was intrigued so naturally i went with the other part of me but the funny thing was i didn't think of him like that his story was the night that he hug me he felt a chemistry there i felt nothing but of course i've been in bad relationships so i thought nothing of it if i were to go along with it. So for the next three years we had a very hot and passionate affair right under his wife nose. I admit it was wrong but from what was going on between them i felt it was ok. He made me promises to give him at least five years so that he can get out of his married but when the time came and his wife found that was after three he did not admit to how long we have been fooling around he said it only happened one time but it was three years living in there house that we had this but here's the dumb thing i went along with the lie to this day she don't know the whole truth but instead of leaving she asked me to stay and i did isn't that stupid we continued in which he of course is he is happy and content with the situtation but when i complain that im not happy he tells me i should be happy because he takes care of everything. I want out!!! im determined to get out of this i wasted 8years waiting for him to leave in which he will never do. I had to take a hard look at this and i am determined to leave.

I know it sounds crazy but would be nice to have some advice and not critzism this is the first time i told anyone of my situtation because usually the other women is always to blame!!

queenb46 queenb46 36-40 9 Responses Aug 19, 2008

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This is a very unhealthy household. This man is getting the best for himself and his own needs only. Even if he did leave his wife , would you ever trust him or his morals? You are being manipulated. You deserve your own life, love and family. Why share someone elses ? Keeping so many secrets and lies from his wife is unhealthy, and you see her on a daily basis. I would hope you pull out of this situation as soon as possible.

You and the wife could try getting it on. You may find that she let you stay because she, too, have feelings for you.

sounds like one of those arrangements where the guy has multiple wives.
either that or the wife is keeping her enemies closer lol. well lets face it the poster is no friend is she ?

to stay with someone who is too gutless to admit it when caught then puts the blame on her is plain stupidity.

and then to still stay on something is not right in this post.

Oh well just my opinion I think the three of them deserve each other.

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Get out girl!!!! Sweet nothings dont add up to anything but nothing. Pick your head up and get your ***** on!!! You are better than this!!!!

He's getting everything he wants right now, he doesn't want to change. The best option is to jus leave, he has a woman that will cook,clean,bring in money, bathe his children and then there's you the woman that will give him sex and love, it's all too perfect for him to change,

Have the courage to pack your bags, then tell him exactly how you feel. If it's revenge you'd like, there's nothing better than finding a great, unmarried guy who makes you feel alive and ready to be a star in your own life.

Why would he want things to change he's getting everything he wants right now.

I concure with the most of it.One a I am gonna tell you you are to blame for a certain % of the blame you allowed it in the first place.two you need to gather yourself together and figure out where you're gonna go and how you're gonna get there.three if you need finantial support milk the bugger before you go.four leave leave leave he is a pigg a rotten filthy cake eater and yes he is comfortable and thats why he'll never leave.Most men dont leave their marrages for their other woman and he has you under the same roof as his wife thats like express conveniance with a touch of black mail.

i too believe that this man is deliberately using you and smiling to himself each time he pats himself on the shoulder. girl i don't know your past but believe me when i tell you this if you think you've wasted eight years you haven't seen anything yet. if you stay another eight years you will have lost sixteen years of your life.do you want to leave this earth and if given the chance to review your life all you did was wasted your youth and exuberance on someone who made you wait for yearrs just to show you what true happiness is ?do you really want to be with a man that will torture you continuosly.<br />
i would also advise you that you get what you can now so you can start saving towards leaving don't let him know of your plans instead coax him into giving all you need to rebuild your life without him knowing and then when he least expect it leave-be reminded if you are not prepared to leave, my advise to you will seem fruitless. if he is a cheap skate and doesn't choose to assist you in anyway or will assist you but is finding it odd that all of a sudden you are asking for added necessities convince him otherwise- prepare youself.

Leave this situation as soon as you can afford to. He is having his cake and eating it too. Obviously his wife trusts you enough to allow you to have stayed in their home which shows she is a woman of great character.<br />
Dont let him win. You deserve someone who will not lie to you and cheat you of a happy and loving relationship. Be strong.<br />
At the end of the day you have to decide who you love more..him or yourself?? If it was meant to be, he will find a way out to be with you. If not, then you know exactly what kind of a man he really was. Being strong isnt easy, you will probably fail dismally at first, but trust me - its worth it in the end when you know you stayed true to yourself. Good luck!