Lunch With An Old FriendLast week i ran into an old friend. We haven't seen each other in over ten years but we used to be the very best of friends. The last time i saw her, was her wedding day. We made plans to get together and i was so excited to reconnect. i am in need of a good friend these days and i thought that i would be able to tell her everything, just like i used to. She was always very non-judgemental.
I picked her up, we went to lunch and we picked up where we left off. The wedding! "So how did that turn out?" I asked. She started to cry and then we spent the next hour discussing her heartbreaking 8 years in a miserable marriage that ended in divorce. Turns out her hubby was a serial cheater and despite several attempts to make it work in the end she had her heart broken, pardon me, obliterated is perhaps a better word.
In her telling of these events, she had a very strong bitterness about the "dirty scumbag ******" he cheated with. Venom was spewing from her mouth just talking about it. And there i was, sitting there nodding and saying all the expected things. All the while i felt as though i was being berated by my MM's wife.
It was a very intense experience. A range of emotions from guilt to anger, all of which i concealed behind the edited version of myself that i have to give most people.
Luckily for me, she did most of the talking. Things never came around to my love life. i certainly didn't volunteer anything. But i know it will come up if i see her again.
After discussing this with my MM, He thinks that i should be honest with her and just be myself and its no loss if she judges me for it because where has she been for the last ten years anyway. What's the point of being her friend if i can't be myself?
It's so hard to face the judgement though, part of me just wants to not see her again but i suppose i should give her a chance, maybe she will understand.