Is It Really Wrong????

So yeah, obviously I am the other woman.  

My story began about 3 years ago.  I am married.  He is married.  Mutual sex is what it started as...our relationship has matured into a deep and true love.

He has told me from the beginning that he will not abandon his children.  He has two, 15 and 16 years old.  I cannot begrudge him that; he is trying to do the right thing.  

He spends most of his free time with me.  He has to pick his battles...spending time with the kids or with me.  It's not an easy decision for him.  Basically it's neglect the kids or neglect me.  He does not want to do either but his strong belief to be there for the kids makes him have to decide which is more important.  We agree that the kids take precedence over me....for now.  And surprisingly I am ok with that.  He decided that he is going to leave her after his oldest goes to college in two years regardless.  Not naive enough to believe that, so don't worry.  But i have made up my mind to at least stick it out for the time being.  He sacrifices so much for me.  Too much to list here.  Actions speak louder than words and he shows me every day that he is serious about us.  

If I grow tired of the waiting game then maybe the guilt will surface.  But right now I am not feeling an ounce of guilt for what we are doing.  He proves to me every day that he is mine, not hers.  The circumstances will change and soon we will be able to have the open relationship we are meant to have.  Until then, I am and will remain "the other woman".



Suzy32 Suzy32
6 Responses Sep 11, 2008

I'm always curious as to why the men think they will 'lose' their children. Maybe it depends on where you are. But I am filing for divorce and asking for 50% custody. That is not abandonment. Except for my wife...yes, I suppose I am abandoning her.

As I read your story, my heart hurts because I no longer feel like my MM is proving to me that he is mine. Can I ask you what things your man does to make you feel so secure in your relationship after all this time? I too have been with my man for 3 years, we were both married at the onset of our relationship, and now I am divorced. I have been feeling A LOT lately like it's time to pull the plug, but I also can't bare the thought of leaving him.

If sex is genuine and good it matters a lot

Suzy,<br />
You have described my life almost to a T. Only difference is that my MM's daughter is an adult and she actually knows all about me. I have never pushed for him to leave. His daughter has. We have been together for 3 years and we fall in love all over again everyday. There are reasons he cannot leave right now and I understand his reasons. I'm not going anywhere and he makes sure that he makes our stolen moments very special. <br />
I wish you the best.

Dunno, I can sorta relate to the fella. I am currently i na situation where thing at home are not good nor conducive to a healthy enviroment between my wife and I, daughter, well step the main reason I am putting up with so much crap! <br />
<br />
I love that girl like my own and would never abandoned her. Even when thrown on my *** she will always know she can come to me and she will come I can kinda understand the mans stance. <br />
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Sweetie, he told you and you chose it anyways...if you cant handle it now after all this need to back away. He is placing his children first, for the most part, which is something Fathers today simply do not do.

Oh yes, I should mention that my husband and I have been separated and living apart for over two years. Although I'm not quite sure why the divorce hasn't happened yet. Guess life gets in the way...when I feel it's time I will file.