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Cos I Am Guy, But I've Nev...

Cos I am guy, but I've never been the other guy.
themiget themiget 16-18, M 8 Responses Jan 13, 2007

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Huh?

Me neither.

He hasn't been EITHER at 16-18 years old. This should be an ADULT FORUM!

I've been "the other woman" a number of times, and it's ok as long as you know what you're going to get going in, and you don't change your agenda once you're in. It doesn't work if you fall in love with him. It can be a 'friends with benefits' relationship, or it can be **** buddies, but do NOT make the mistake of falling in love with him and thinking he'll leave for you. High likelihood it ain't gonna happen, no matter what he says or for how long he says it. You need to live a full life of your own, and on occasion it intersects with his. Otherwise, you're gonna be sitting home alone, waiting for his call and it's not gonna come until he has some time to spare for you. He's gonna fit you in where he can, and it won' be enough for you. So don't go there: if you meet a married man, and he feels like someone you could love, leave. Don't see him again.

That is exactly how I feel. I see dating an already-attached man as a situation where I have more control than a "regular" relationship. I don't want an emotional connection, I don't want love. If I felt like I was getting too close, I would get out.

Such a screwed up way of thinking! Obviously have major commitment issues!!! :(. What happened in your life to make you so afraid? Seek some counsel!

Good advice. As a man for me Love and Romance and a long term relationship is not going to happen. Ever. But I can love being with a person or even " just love things about that person" I can love spending a little time with a woman while at the same time I might enjoy or be interested in spending time with another person. I dint want to be trapped into another relationship. But I am selective about life experience in common that I might have With the opposite sex. I don't particularly want to obsess about that other then to connect initially to people with the same motivation to have affairs, to grow, to be more genuine. Yet doing so with people on EP who really know what a prolonged bad relationship is all about and to connect to women especially who ate in the same ship of voyage. I'm a really good looking man hungry for uninhibited affirmation. Recognition of who I am. Finding women that find me attractive and enjoy my attraction to them physically and emotionally is a turn on thought. Especially a woman who is unhappily married like me yet still respects their family and is responsible. I have no problem with hooking up with "Me"but does not want to hook up to my life. I won't tell my wife and I will hide it because a friend told me that it can still hurt her feelings, believe it or not, even though she is just as excited about this new life that we are embarking on. I think that if she were to find out that she would actually be turned on by that. I think it would make her horney and want to **** hard but just not **** me. I think she would be interested that I had a relationship going here and there if she learned from the kids inadvertently or from some one. Very unlikely though and I figure it's non of her business. I actually hope that she has an affair or two or some affairs, but none that go bad or that have negative consequences. I get turned on by the right of her getting ****** by one or theee guys squealing with ********. I think she is attracted to other men and even women. I don't want to know what she is doing with whom if she chooses as long as she stays safe which I know she will. But even though we would never talk about it all turns me on. Maybe swinging would have helped our marriage. I admit I wouldn't have allowed that. But now I would if we had all had a relationship. I'm glad the personal part of the relationship is over. It is an exciting new adventure obsession for me!

I agree with justtheotherwoman. It's a bit of a double standard.

Makes sense to me. He may have been the cheating husband, but he has not been the other man. He is not with a married woman. for some reason, and I don't say this in a mean way or to criticize, but for some reason the cheating man does not want to be the sharing the other woman with anyone else. I have seen this in my relationship. He expects me to accept that I am sharing him with his wife even though he says there is no passion left in their relationship, but if anyone shows an interest in me he gets jealous. Again, not complaining or criticising, just saying.

Sharing a women with another man is no problem with me. I would prefer having an affair with a woman very short term, who is in an unhappy marriage. Although I just realized that an angry husband chasing or hunting me down because he found out, and found out who I am is a scary thought. So I will have to give that some thought. Any thoughts or ideas? Do you have some advice or experience with that? I would really enjoy hearing about that. I had a friend who was ******* his next door neighbors wife for years. He never found or and then later he moved but had he found out he wouldn't have had to look very far. They both for there needs met and they both had families to protect and they both were very very smart about it and discrete.

what??? that made noooo sense.