10 Myths about being the other woman & FAQ.
1."You must be doing things in bed his wife won’t." Not true. I have limitations and desires as well. I’m not a prude by any means but I’m not doing anything in bed that a typical couple doesn’t do.
2."He’s just using you for sex." I doubt it, he doesn’t need me for sex. Seeing me requires a lot of effort on his part. There are other sexual options available to him that aren’t as much effort.
3."Why don’t you just date a nice single guy?" I know what I like in men, and if I meet someone that I’m drawn to and is single, sure i’ll go for it. But the MM i’m seeing is the first guy in years that i was interested in getting to know better.
4."He’s never going to leave his wife for you." The trouble with this type of statement is that it assumes that I want him to leave his wife. I’m not looking for a long term relationship with him. I’m not looking to spend forever with him. I’m just enjoying for now.
5."He doesn’t love you." Maybe not the way he loves his wife and kids. But he loves me the way he’d love his best and closes friend. And it makes me feel loved. Isn’t that what really matters.
6.“How can you trust him, knowing he lies to his wife?” Even people that aren’t having affairs lie to their spouses from time to time. Dishonesty isn’t exclusive to men in affairs. It’s a human character trait. And it’s not something anyone can hold against anyone else.
7.“You are the one that will end up being hurt in the end” Yes, but so will he. He is human after all. And his capacity to love is greater than mine.
8.“You must be desperate/slutty” Actually I’m neither. But thanks for the judgment.
9.“You are always going to be second” I am not second, and his wife is not first. Because we are not running the same race and we are not looking for the same things from him.
10.“You are his ego boost” I would hope so! Whether relationships are sexual or not we all like to surround ourselves with people that makes us feel good about ourselves.
somebody999 somebody999
31-35, F
18 Responses Jun 2, 2014

A very refreshing look at the other side of the coin. All extremely valid points. Way to go, girl.

I never looked at it this way ..thanks...

OMG How awesome this is!! On another post the OW were called ******.

Thank you! This post has showed me that im not alone in thinking this way. Awesome!

I love this!!! I feel like this alone has summed up how I'm feeling in my position.thank you!!

How did I not see this before!! Awesome post. I agree with everything except number 1.. of course, that's because she rarely does anything in bed, and if it does happen, it happens with a lack of enthusiasm on her part that he finds almost offputting ( Ha! ALMOST he says, although to my knowledge in the time we've been together it's only happened twice..) You don't have to be a freak in the bedroom, its amazing what just a little enthusiastic participation can do! 😀

Coming from the mans perspective I would say all of those statements are false and just coming from the thought process of overly judgemental people that want you to fail.

Lol I adore this.

Love it :)


👏👏👏👏👏 Love 4 & 5 ....& 6 & 7...& 10. LOVE them all!! Haha

Wow, love this!!!

Couldn't have said it better!

High five!!! 🙋 You nailed it. No ones happy ever after is exactly the same. We are all individuals and different. Thank you.

Can u pls pls copy paste this post n pm me please????

Fantastic. If only my other woman had read this. I loved her sooo much. She left me!!!!

999 this was beautifully written. And for #4 sometimes they really do leave the wife.

So true words spoken. Thank you:P