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Never Thought It Would End Up Like This

so heres my story summer 2005 i met a totally awesome guy and i fell for him i broke up with my bf for him (we never really saw each other by the way) so i always went out with was my prince charming... he had an ex gf who went psycho after finding out about me through myspace she hated the fact i was hispanic like him and was beautiful (she is white) so his parents never liked me they wanted for him to be with a white girl. so we were together for three months and he tried to break up with me for a dumb reason and well then i found out it was because his parents wanted for him to be with the other girl and were willing to pay for her to come down from Dallas.  So he brainwashed me into thinkin that he'd still be with me and he just wanted to bring her down to make her pay him back for everything she owed him.

So his plan was to make her work and buy him all these things and he would be with me.  He promised he wouldnt have sex with her with the excuse that since his parents were pastors he would tell  her that they couldnt anymore.  So we stopped talking for like two weeks and he showed up at my house one day. Yeah she had came down and well was living with him.  He told me how much he loved me and missed me and how she was nothing compared to me, but that his parents were happy and loved her so much.  So we continued to see each other and well i found out through him that she had admitted to cheating on him before and he went crazy and hit her.  I was shocked that he did that to her but not surprised that she had done that since i knew alot of things about her and stuff.... so things continued to go up and down and i missed him like crzy cause i couldnt call him or things like that .... she knew of course though that he would see me and stuff, but well she was like in denial.  She called me on Valentines day tellin me she knew what was goin on and she would leave because she knew how much he loved me and not her.  Unfortunately she ddnt leave. Things continued to get worse and in April we met.  So i was suppose to be going to prom with one of my best friends and well i was at tthe mall with them when HE calls and tells me he needs me to go to his office to help him i was like i cant i am goin to prom with my friend. he went crzy yellin at me tellin me i was just like her and blah blah so i called him and said id be there i drpd them off adn somehow he had followed me and well i went with him.  He had to go pick her up at work and take her home.  He made the mistake of tellin her that i was with him and if she wanted to go and she said no and went cuckoo. ( dont blame her but she already knew) so then i told him id go over with him and talk to her because i knew how much work he needed to finish and well he said ok. so we go and she started going crazy and stuff crying. so she finally gets on and tells me that she doesnt know why he told her to come down from dallas if he was clearly with me and he loved me. and how she wished she wouldnt of so that we could be together happy without her in the way. and how she hated how he always talked about me and all the things i did for him and how she was a slutt and how she saw how she so didnt go with him because of her being white.  i ddint say anything and well we worked.

so this continued for the next month or so and she left one day. he was happy that she had left but his parents were confused.  we spent about two great weeks when one day he calls me while im cleanin his apartment and tells me why i had emailed her all our pics and told her all these things ...i was like what are you talking about? i couldnt understand so it turned out she had looked at my phone one day and emailed herself some of the pics and she didnt tell him just mentioned it when she had left and was im'ing him.... thats when he said he had slept with her all this time and she had gotten pregnant but she got an abortion. he didnt want to have a baby with her. (he later said because he wanted one with me not her) Well she came back and i never saw her again... we stopped talking or seeing each other then i found out that he had gotten married to her because his parents made him in order for them to live with them.  he had gotten fired and lost everything because of her. so he saw that as the only way.  He continued to beat her up because he  never believed her and stuff.. a week after he had gotten married this was like almost a month later he called me.

i met up with him and i told him i couldnt sleep with him because i knew he was ******* her for sure. he told me he regreted gettin married he was drinkin alot and doin drugs too.. he said he missed me and loved me ... so we left at that and i went home.  the following week he called me and told me he was goin to pick me up so we could go to the beach... so we did and we had the best time ever two days away from the world and he was happy and so was i . we both didnt want to go back and well we had to. so we continued seein each other again.  she knew but she still wouldnt leave she kept coming back... i wanted to be wth him so much but not with her in the picture.  so she left again and came back and finally in october she left and he ddnt hear from her for a long time. he was determined to divorce and moved in with me.  i had gotten my own place so taht whenever he wanted to get away and be with me he could.  by this time he had been drinking and doing alot of drugs ( not to mention so had she, she was the daughter of a prostitute and a drug addict he and the mom had met and done drugs together thats how he had met her) he knew shed end up like her. so everything was fine and stuff... then she began to bother us and call private really late at night and it sucked. she knew he was with me and she wanted to divorce as well... well then in jan we went to dallas to see his daughter and he got so drunk he ended up callin her and i woke up and heard so i got really upset . after that we always argued because she always called just to bother us and he would play the same game with her. i ended up havin a miscarriage in early feb. i blame it all on her for never leavin us alone and stuff... then one day in march she called drunk tellin me how much she loved us both and how we were good for each other and ment to be and how beautiful of a person i was and how she wished she could be like me and she jsut wanted to be his friend and blah blah

so we end up goin over to dallas in march for spring break he ends up takin me to the walgreens where she works so she can see his daughter i was so mad that just ruined the trip... by now i was mad.... i was payin for the whole trip and he had to do that to me... uhh... so then we are hving a good time and well im forced to drop some drunk girl off and well i end up crashing this is when the worst happened he got so mad he hit me i ended up with a black eye bloody nose bruised arrm and side and all this stuff... so he calls her to tell her and she said shed give him one hundred dollars i was so mad.   so we met her and she was bein all nice and was like im sorry i know how you feel at least you can cover urs up and blah blah and she ended up taggin along with us to go with his daughter... i was so sad this was suppose to be a fun trip but it was so horrible. so when we came back to town he told me has was goin to go back there for his daughter n that i wasnt goin with him cause i wouldnt fit in and stuff... so i finally said ok  fine but just make this next two months peaceful ,

NOpe nothing it was the worst time ever he kept hittin me started doin lot of drugs hardly goin to skool and kept callin her and talkin to her he made me believe i was horrible and just like her. he called me a slutt and said he couldnt take me with him and stuff.f... i had been faithful to him all this time and done everything for him...  so i was goin to be heart broken left and broke with no car.

he left one day to houston and ddnt tell me he was gone for 1 week and hardly called me ... i was walkin to work and hardly slept i was so depressed so he came back but not home so i decided to text him "if your not coming home and ur leavin anyway just come for your ****" iddnt want him to go but i cldnt deal with it all so he did come and left.  i told him never to call me or anything ....

so he left and i found out he was back wth her and at first i was mad but then i got over it i knew it.  he is bipolar and i only wish him the best. i just cant believe he lied to me and i was so blind not to see the truth he was using me .... now im broke and no car and no where to live. it sucks ...

i just never felt like i was doing wrong but idk what you all think.... should i have stopped or her or him idk i hate the fact that i still think if him and miss him so much and luv him but i know i cant be with him ever because of his condition.....

how do i deal wiht this and move on.

emotionallydisturbed emotionallydisturbed 19-21, F 9 Responses Aug 8, 2007

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i feel so sorry for u dear. i just would like to ask u one and only one question......what does ur mind say to u?????
to move on take all the **** or just scream nooooooooooo

I'm very sorry that you have had such a bad experience.

I think it is for the best that he left you. I know that nothing I say is going to make you feel better or help you understand. But believe me, you sound like a good girl with a lot of good intention. You will find a man who deserves you.

Much love and peace.

i support... strongly

here is a great book about cheating, <br />
it may be about spouses but it relates to all relationships.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
http://veronica9748.catch-ur-cheating-spouse.com

Don't walk RUN and FAST. There is no love evident in this story. He is a sorry excuse for a man. You can do better. God bless

You had a lucky escape...you may not see it now but you have! No man that loves you will hit you and its warped to believe that he does. The other girl didnt leave because he obivoulsy had some kind of threatening hold over and she was probably scared to. Until he's sorted himself out (i.e. clean) you are best to steer clear!! You deserve so much more. If you had stayed together, over time the abuse would have only got worse....and well its your life and time you'll never get back, something that you only realise with age is that its important to live your life to your own tune :-) It'll get easier with time. Start making plans for you...think about what you want out of life and go out and do it!! Nothing is impossible you just have to believe in it enough.

There are so many thoughts running through my head after reading this, it's hard to begin. First, take care of yourself...get yourself situated...a job, a car, a place to live...go to school...I speak from experience on this one...you need to make you a priority...Second, the more you focus on you, the less important he will become...do more positive things for yourself and you will find that you will begin to attract people that have something to offer you...Lastly, consider getting some help...we are always the best experts on our own lives, but sometimes it is helpful to have someone to talk to to sort it all out...a good therapist, counselor or minister can help you figure things out...make each day a good one - for you...peace...SS

YOU need to get on w your life he has you all screwed up NO man is worth it <br />
get a life of your own

Honey, if he loved you, he wouldn't hit you. He isn't worth it and he doesn't deserve you. Get yourself on your feet and then start looking for a man that will treat you the way that you deserve to be treated (like a goddess.) Good luck and God bless you always.

You deserve better than a man who wont commit to you. I hope you can find a way to move on with your life. You deserve more.