He still won't admit I am the other woman! Despite me knowing the score before the 'lets have space' thing happened between them and between us 7 weeks back. We have met up for two weekends since and inevitable happened-surprised me first time mind.
Asked him tonight-that theme park we had planned, should we go? He says yes but if have to stay at his house night before (area/time/travel circumstance). Then says 'but I should respect your rule'. My rule basically was last weekend I told him this would never happen again as my heart was breaking. He didn't say a word but held me closer and kissed my forehead-my weakness-our 'thing'.
I asked him did he want to respect my rule or did he agree with it. He said if he was giving advice to himself it would be respect it, but in his own head it's a 'do whatever' kinda thought. Because he knows I love him and hate my rule. I also told him I want all or nothing, hence the rule. He said I can't get either of those things. Wtf does that mean?? I'm not staying in limbo much longer let me tell you! I chose last week to not go back there. But the urge to meet for this trip is so strong. I said we could be just friends. He basically said he knows stuff would happen. I halted the txting and said goodnight right there.
Why can't he just tell me he's back with her? I've seen the txts! (Altho they barely meet up and he doesn't love her. Weird).
Why can't he just let me go?
Why can't he just say look-its never going to happen?
Why can't he give me something to hold onto to get angry with, to be Able to get over him?
Or just give me what I want-all of him. I don't know if he won't because my situation is difficult (live away, still married, 2 kids, changing careers, moving house this month, family worries with my marriage splitting up). Any men out there care to enlighten me on that? My girl friends say he should commit already but I don't think I would if i was him given my situation!
Any women out there please help me understand this man and how to move on or cling on?!?
foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore
36-40, F
1 Response Aug 16, 2014

He would also never formally admit we had a "relationship" or that I was the "OW." I think maybe one time he said something about a pseudo girlfriend or "fake" girlfriend as his SO called me. I love him so much and that is the reason why a friendship will never work between us. I really don't want to lose him in my life but I can't just be his "friend." Not having the physical part is too upsetting for me. For the third time I have cut off contact....this time for 7 days. I told him maybe in several months we can speak again just as friends and I will have moved on and him and her will have a better relationship. He said that was a very positive thing to say. Not really sure that is possible though. I have a feeling I will never speak to him again which is killing me....but the way things were, were killing me also. I had to choose my poison. AND I had to choose me. I sure do hope you can make the right decision for you. Mine is the hardest thing/most painful thing I have ever done in my life but ultimately it is what I HAVE to do....for me. Good luck figuring things out!