My phone rings and I run to answer it, I was hoping it was him, sad that it wasn't. I burst into tears mad he has this kind of control over me. How do I break free from this Hold he has on me. I miss his touch, his smell, his voice, I just miss him so much it hurts.
4everhislady 4everhislady
41-45, F
1 Response Aug 19, 2014

One jokingly claimed last night he had 'power'. I felt mortified he said it. He took it back but he meant it. It woke me up a bit! Who wants a woman full of neediness and obsession? How the hell did we turn into these people? Because we were never in control that's why. Or better still because it was never a level playing field. They had power. To leave or not to. To throw scraps of affection when they wanted. Us-happy to pick up the crumbs because they became elusive to us. The prize sat on the highest pedestal. We need to be that prize again. It can be done x

Trust me Grace he will be back he is just letting you cool off, he knows what he is doing, giving you time to calm down and get over whatever your problem is. time to stop being angry, giving you time to miss him, time to get horney and need his you know.... the torture is real. trust me my MM is doing this to me as we speak....he leaves me alone for a few days, he cant deal with me yelling screaming, fighting him anymore, i have 62 missed calls just today, and yesterday he came up to my know it aint over...make him miss you, make him want you....if he calls hang up ignore all his efforts, if he wants you then he will put you 1st, no more sloppy scraps!!! this will make him sick not knowing, where you are, who your with, if your with someones having sex. watch. Then he will call or pop up on you with hey baby stupid face lol...we will all find your strength thru this.

Not only will he be back, but he will start like nothing happened. It's a cycle it keeps going through and unless the cycle is broken in some way, it will not go any other way. And sadly, you are the only one who has the power to break the cycle, as you are the only one who doesn't agree with the way things are. He will say he needs to break it, because that's what the situation requires so by admitting this, he technically removes the guilt. Unless he starts to think how he feels about you, he will not do anything. ANd judging we are all in same boat here, he hasn't started about feelings yet, despite of what he says. As I grown alongside of my MM I realised, words are very easy to say, and listen to, but the misinterpretation is always done weeks after, when it hits home. But we grow, and we will continue to become much stronger - and much better at observing the situation. THe moment this starts happening, you will feel the weight fall of your shoulders. You will still miss him and think about him all the time, but in less needy way, in less beaten up way, in less anger. And as you do, you will feel - you don't need him. You want him, you choose either to wait for him or not, because he becomes secondary to you, suddenly you become your number 1 - not for a day or two, but continuously, for month for half a year. You don't mind if you see him or don't, you don't mind what he's doing when he's not with you, you become bit more placid. And it is at that moment, that you will have the best time with him, because he feels it, he struggles to understand how you can have a joke about with other people, why you smiling from ear to ear, but not necessarily for him, and he's back at the beginning - where it all started - you are just a highlighted version of you from back then when it was all just a bit of laugh! :) and then guess what comes next - another decision!! You either stick it in, or do it - YOUR WAY! :) but the process is long. I think of myself every day coming from my pedestal to him, when I want. And he's really really eager for me to do so! And one day, it will happen! ;)

We women need to find the power again. we lost it somewhere, in between the love, the lust, the lies we believed when in all we needed was to be loved, to be wanted, to be touched to be put 1st does that ever happen does not matter if you knew him 5 months or 5 years its always the same bullshit...I sat here today and read so many of our stories, we are all in pain settling for the same bullshit. How does this cycle end. Yes we love these men do they really love us? if they did would we all be on here crying? hurting, desperately seeking answers. Does this give them aright to take our feelings and play with it like its a damm yo yo

Ha you're very right. 99% of us on here are a mess. Crying and being needy. I know if my guy was married I wouldn't have even gone there. My head couldn't take that. But I assumed a girlfriend he didn't love would be easily rid of. I was wrong. He actually turned out to be greedy. And now powerful. He's narcissistic anyway. Pretty cocky with it. And I'm feeding his ego. He used to adore me new when I was the one who felt powerful and in control and could go a day without any contact. I'm reduced to a mess now. Why? Because he became that elusive prize I couldn't have. Same for us all. And for me it's the lie. That he's back with her and won't admit it. That's the nail in the coffin. I need to be over this man already.

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