I'm having a really hard time. The more time I spend with him, the more I hate waiting. The nights are the worst, I haven't slept well in God knows how long. I've spent nights crying until 5 in the morning. It also hurts that I don't have anyone to go to. I can't go to a friend and cry or be held. This is not a life that I would wish upon anyone.

I can't stop thinking about the future. Holiday season is going to be here for we know it, and I can't stand the fact that I'm going to be celebrating alone while he spends it with his W. Call that rude, but I hurt, a lot. I'm so lonely :( He can't ever give me an answer on when he could be with me, and that hurts too. I feel like I'm going to be in the shadows forever.
StuckInEternity StuckInEternity
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 19, 2014

Oh my goodness. I literally sent an email saying almost this exact same thing to mm the other day. I soooo know how you feel. Wicked sorry that you're going through it. I really hope it gets better for you.

You are a wonderful person, and you deserve better than crying alone at night. You need to decide whether or not you're going to wait for him. If I were in your situation, I'd give him some time to think about it, but make sure he knows that he needs to choose by a certain time, or I'm gone. It'll be hard, being alone after that, but you will be free.