So our experiment to create space without actually going NC is going okay, EXCEPT, now that he can only see me two times a week, he is finding ways to call me a lot more. We had decided phone calls weren't restricted, just seeing each other was. I'm not sure if I'm pleased about that or worried that we are not doing what he needs in order to work on what he really wants.
greeneyes2232 greeneyes2232
46-50, F
1 Response Aug 22, 2014

Ive just gone no contact as I think all the time you are there they dont sort their S... out !

Yeah....I've told him that repeatedly since April. We did try NC....lasted 4 days. He was a mess. We do have a deadline of sorts. If he hasn't figured out what he wants by March, I'm done.

I think they only miss you when your non there. Otherwise you are a band aid covering up the real issues. My MM said that when he sees me he goes home and is happy for a few days and it dilutes the issues at home so he doesnt address them. I tried leaving him in April and it motivated him to go and see a solicitor and start the process then I started to seehim again and he stopped. His problem is his wife will just not talk to him and uses every avoidence tactic on the planet. Therefore I hve left him to sort it and if he doesn t then he will be stuck in a very destructive empty marriage.

I agree to an extent. He needs to either fix his marriage (and commit 100% to that, and how can he do that with me around) or leave his marriage. He needs to figure that out for himself. Either way, in six months I'll be gone. Unless, of course, he decides to end his marriage, but even then, we will take it very slow. I'm not jumping into anything with him.