A few nights ago, my MM was texting me while he drank. Apparently, he had passed out before we could say goodnight, so I sent him one last message and set my phone down. Maybe half an hour later I get a message from a number similar to his telling me good evening.

It was his wife.

Long story short, we ended up speaking over the phone for at least four or five hours. The whole time there was not one harsh word exchanged nor did we arrange to meet in person so we could duke it out. She sat and listened as I spilled everything to her: how he and I had met when I was 13, what our relationship is like, all that good stuff.

We talked about him first, of course, and how much we loved him. After swapping stories about him, we shared life experiences with each other and even laughed and cried together. It turns out that she and I are quite similar, indeed.

Despite the situation, she was worried that she had ruined my night because I had been crying and losing sleep. I was actually relieved that she finally confronted me; being the OW is not easy for me and weighs heavily on my conscience because I do not like helping him hurt his wife.

Now it is decision time for the three of us. She told him everything and that he shouldn't be a jerk to me when he speaks to me again; I did the right thing by owning up to this. Our little "mess" is up to him to work out, for the most part. She had told me a few things about him that I was grateful to hear since he barely tells me anything. Apparently he has done this sort of thing with numerous women and we are not sure how many others there are.

Crazy stuff.

So now we wait and see what's going to happen to all of us when this simmers down and the chopping block is put up.

I love this man dearly and I always will, but there are so many things to consider before taking any further steps. So far he says he doesn't have the desire to tell me to go away and that I have every right to tell him to.

But do I have the strength and desire to?
strivingforsanity strivingforsanity
26-30, F
4 Responses Aug 22, 2014

Atleast she didn't go beserk on you

Do update what the decision like your mm has taken.

I certainly will.

This is an incredibly powerful story. Thank you so much for sharing it. Just you telling this story and how you and the other woman reacted with such grace and were there for each other instead of screaming and fighting... That makes you so much stronger than any woman I know. You're a complete inspiration. The decision is yours and we can't tell you what to do, but it sounds like you already know what you want and there's so much pain in this story. Rid yourself of pain and sorrow you need much more than that

Thank you so much for your kind words. I don't really feel like an inspiration. I think that tough situations are better handled when both (or all) parties can talk it out like adults. I had not expected her to be so cool about it; I was waiting for her to scream my ear off! So glad that you liked reading this and that you would show support. Very much appreciated! And yes, I think that I do deserve better than what he is giving me. Just gotta be strong enough to walk away for good.

I was the other as well long story short her and I met we left him and she and I dated a bit. We still talk, and have no idea what we saw in him

They're usually quite the charmers. I know he is. It's hard to let go after so many years but I'm starting to see a darker side to him than I had discovered before. Thank you for sharing your experience!