Lately, life seems to be... a lot of work. (Which, incidentally, explains why I have not posted here in a while.) In addition to my research job, I am moonlighting at our state university (Professor BoudoirWhispers! Ha!) to make ends meet since mathematicians' salaries are pathetic and I have to keep two teenagers and a menagerie of animals alive. In the evenings and on weekends, I feed the less fortunate multitudes and try to prevent our local youth from becoming said less fortunate multitudes. Since I do most of this in tandem with my MM, we spend more time together than most MM/OW couples. However, that time together is spent... working. We still have our "stolen moments," but they are few and far between since the needs of others always seem to eclipse our own. Which leads me to suspect that long-term, committed relationships between MM and their mistresses suffer from the same problems and pitfalls as those of other, more socially sanctioned couples.
Meanwhile, his wife travels the globe, enjoying entertainment, exotic cultures and fine dining. (If I sound a tad jealous, it is because... I am. In my universe, fine dining means that somebody could be bothered to boil a pot of pasta and open a jar of tomato sauce. *Deep sigh*) Don't get me wrong, I love my job. Love teaching. Love being able to provide for my offspring. Love my MM. But... would it spoil some vast eternal plan if we had an occasional date night? Passionate sex? Time to read Donne poems to each other in front of the fire place? I would go on quite a bit with this rant if I weren't so darn tired... zzzz...
BoudoirWhispers BoudoirWhispers
51-55, F
5 Responses Aug 23, 2014

I thank you and you MM for the work you are doing to help others! It is wonderful that people like you are doing so much for others while still carrying on with the many tasks of your own lives.
It does sound like the two of you are becoming more friends than lovers and I guess that is the pitfall. It will take effort from both of you to bring some excitement into your lives.
I hope you are able to do this. We all need to feel wanted and appreciated and loved. It is what brings to life more joy and happiness.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Good luck and thank you again for helping others.

This is the same for me! 95% of our time is spent at work, and although he always seems to find a moment or two to make it fun, you are always aware that its on someone else's time... Since he moved out of town there has been very little of the relaxing coffee meets or steamy car dates that we enjoyed before. That's why last night was so special, and that's why I can't wait for next time.. it's so different when it's on your own time and there's nobody else on your mind but each other. :)

BW, Hugs sent. I read your posts and know you and your MM share with each other. Just tell your MM you need a date day/night something with just you and him time closing out the world even if it is for a few hours. My ex-MM, who I will carry with me the good memories had a coffee date anywhere from a half hour to 45 minutes at least once a week. It was just sitting in either my car or his, taking turns buying a cup of coffee, holding hands with stolen kisses and some good conversation. To some here it may seem insignificant, but to us was the best time:) He is a COO and I operate 2 companies so yes his wife lives a high profile life like your MMs wife, but it was the little things between us that were special:)

Thank you, Christine. You are absolutely right - it is the small things that count and I probably should be more grateful for what we have. Lack of sleeps seems to make me bitchy...

I know this may seem small considering but what I.got from your post was the things you two have in common. I would love if my boyfriend would come with me to feed the hungry, do charity work, hell at least go to a museum with me! We have ZERO shared hobbies. He's 30 years older than me so he only wants to travel to great places with tons of things to do only to go to amazing reaturants then back to the room to drink, snuggle and sleep. I do think that your MM does need to make an effort to romance you a littlr if you dont have time for dinners a nice lunch at an upscale restaurant says I love you just the same or go to a park with wine blankets and books, maybe hint at it with him?

You are right, Sweet, sharing almost every aspect of my MM's life is a blessing (if, on occasion, a bit exhausting). But drinking, snuggling and sleeping in an amazing hotel room sounds pretty attractive, too. Maybe I am just getting old. *Picks up cane and limps away*

I think for me its a case of the grass being greener. Dont get me wrong I love traveling and the beautiful hotels and dinners and everything but I feel like its such a waste to be inside when there are so many things to do. For example when we went to Chicago for a couple of days we just stayed in, a penthouse is nice but.I wanred to.explore and not be in bed by 11pm. Same with Philadelphia so much historical buildings and I was trapped inside.

I'm there with ya. Sounds good to me to ;).

I wish i couldnt relate to your post :-(