I am somewhat hesiyant to write here and not sure why.

I feel like i am in this hurdle. My mm tells me the things i want to hear... i just dont know if they are real or not. He has a high profile job and is on call all the time. I find myself getting jealous for the first time in my life. I want him to do all those extras on her time not mine. I am jealous that she gets his free time. All these feelings are new to me and i am worried about them.

My mm and i text daily... we call almost daily... but i havent seen him since april. I worry he doesnt make time for me but he says it will be easier when we are married. I fear breaking up our families. Well... my family really. He has no kids but wants them.

Life is so complicated.

sweetplumeria sweetplumeria
41-45
2 Responses Aug 23, 2014

It is the same with almost every MM. And you will feel that you are never the priority in his life, no matter what he professes to you. It hurts to know. It took me six years to know he never did and never will put me as priority. I just learnt to give and give. I know what you mean when you say - why won't he do his extra things on her time? Why yours? It was the exact sentiment I felt but brushed aside so many times. I excused him because of the risks he took to call or meet me. I was just happy to receive what I now call 'crumbs'. I told him about it and the words were 'You know right, I have constraints'. Sigh.
You take care of yourself.

What since april you have seen him? You are on LDR?

Have not seen i mean.

Whats LDR?

Long distance relationship.

Yes. He lives 3 to 4 hours away.

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