Good morning strong ladies! I have not written since a while. We all have our ups and down with the secret and complicated relation we have with our MM. Today I am having the strength to write and share with you all.

It would have been 7 months this week that I have been the OW. My heart fell for someone twice my age. He is a married man and his wife has betrayed him by having an affair with another man.
I got attached to him since the very first day I saw him then we became friends and afterwards more than that. It has to be noted that I would have never cross the limit that is being more than friends if I knew I would have been a threat to their couple life. We had an attachment to each other, and being with each other brings happiness and peace.

Things have been tougher for me and you all know dear OW how it is to live as one. It is as if I am spending my life missing him. Also, I have a conscience that keeps on reminding me that what I am doing is not good. He has a little girl, I am betraying my mum and I have a future. I am too young for him. What I mean is that we cannot be together or it cannot be accepted by the society.

My MM is someone special. He was not the kind of telling me constantly he loves me but instead showed it to me in some ways. He was always there for my family and myself. Someone carefree, making people laugh wherever he is. Yes, he has a good sense of humor and great heart.
What I feel for him cannot be described. They say love is about appreciation and not about possession. So, I am letting it be for what I feel. Undoubtedly, someone who will always remain in my heart forever till the day I die.

I have decided to move on. I met him Tuesday. This relationship was becoming far too complex. I am suffering hell. He told me he also wanted to discuss because we cannot continue like that, but told me he wanted to keep that friendship.
I do not know if I’ll be able to meet him again knowing that I will not be able to touch his face, kiss him or erase that look of desire on my face. They are whispering to my ears ‘’desire is the cause of suffering, therefore liberation is to detach from desire’’.

I need time to accept, to take in energy and strength to keep this friendship which mean a lot and forget about the rest. I really hope I will be able to save this friendship.

I am setting myself free by choosing to move on even if it is hard and hurts. I do not have to choice.
MissM12 MissM12
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 24, 2014

You've just given me the strength I've needed all day. Thank you

Oh! Thanks to you for reading. We all withdraw strength from others stories and it is what makes the efficay of EP.

These are the complications of being the OW. My heart feels for you and I hope you happiness. You will keep this experience in your heart always and cherish the memory. Learn that complicated relationships such as these are difficult to maneuver around. You are a giving young woman and have a fabulous life ahead of you.

Believing in what you said, ''having a fabulous life ahead'' gives me hope and motivates me to carry on.

Crying reading this because I'm going through the same. Everything hurts so much when you know the connection is too much to lose forever so you say 'lets be friends' to ease the pain. Sometimes this works, sometimes not but for the short term it makes you feel more in control.
You're lucky you're at an age where you can pick yourself up and move on to bigger and better. I mean we all can really but you're still at the start of it all so that's good. X