Do any of you ladies have a relationship with a co-worker? If so, what are the dynamics of it and are you able to conceal your affair around co-workers? Have any of you faced any assumptions at all and how do you handle that?

My AP and I have only recently become physical. As a matter of fact he never realized I had any interest no matter what I did until we kissed on an elevator a couple of month's ago. From that point on it's been daily contact and as many visits as we can squeeze into a workday. This doesn't raise any flags as we do actually work together and have to have frequent contact.

We have known each other for 2 years and the flirty thing has been going on the whole time, but never around people. When I was hired into a new position and promoted someone made the accusation of us sleeping together, even though he had little to do with it other than recommending me for the job. I found it funny that this rumor came about while nothing was happening. Maybe other's can see a connection before we even knew it existed.
Serendipitous1 Serendipitous1
41-45, F
6 Responses Aug 25, 2014

We work together.we try to see each other on work days.an evening or day off every few weeks and a overnight every few months.

I'm married his married we communicate daily without fail

We meet during work time out of work but people know.ive heard the rumours.we don't care.his been asked a few times it doesn't stop us.we are way to in love now just to stop

I work with my mm. We became really good friends and there was definitely gossip or even direct questioning. But that stopped before we actually started our affair.
We have both been married a long time and our families used to hang out occasionally together (before) so I think that helps ease suspicions.
I would quit if we were found out. Or if we end it. And also if we decide to leave our spouses to be together.

We work together. He isn't my boss, but is higher up than I am. Be super careful. Every time something goes a bit south EVERYONE notices our dynamic change. Luckily, we both attributed it to our other relationships. Two people at work know about us. I confided in a gf when I couldn't take it anymore and one of the other guys we work with accidentally saw his hand go up my dress. Both are supportive. It's kind of a nightmare because it really affects my ability to function sometimes. I'm also an absurdly emotional human being, so I probably get more worked up than the average OW would.

That's one thing I don't have to worry about, I'm kinda cold or at least hide emotion well. I do have them, but I never show them. So far nobody "knows" anything. He and my boss are very close and at one time my boss asked him if there was something going on. My boss said something stupid like "more power to you." Of course my AP denied this which made my boss feel like an ***. Now my boss pushes me to work with him out of guilt for his stupid comment.

Me and my ex mm (still kills to type that) met at work.
We've ended things and still work together......I caution you if that happens.....it's heart wrenching every day.
Nobody has ever questioned it, we are close at work but not unreasonably so.
People do however notice now that we aren't.....and it's hard to explain.

We go into this knowing the potential outcome I guess. That must be tough to explain. What do you say?

We both went I to it saying we'd never let it effect our friendship......we were obviously pretty naive because there is no friendship right now.
I just shake it off and pretend like I don't know what people are talking about.
Then I get to hear what a great guy he is......because in an office full of woman being a big, muscley, charming guy with a sexy accent really fools the ladies.
Needless to say......right now, everyday he is in the office is absolute hell for me and I contemplate walking away from it all on a regular basis

I couldn't imagine having to deal with that. I am glad that we are separated by a few floors if something like this were to happen. We do work in a huge facility and only see each other so much now because we choose too, but I imagine I would face someof the same questions if we didn't.

Mine started with a co-worker, he was actually one of my mentors. Thankfully as things progressed, he pursued an opportunity with another company. Neither of us wanted our relationship to impact our careers, and had we stayed working together, eventually it would have. Be very careful.

Lucky for you. Not that I see signs of things going south at this time, I do wonder what it would be like if they did.

Yes, we work together. He is one of my direct reports.
No one knows anything about us. Everyone knows we're close friends but would never suspect anything more between us.

This is good to hear and thanks for your response. I am in a very similar situation and I truly was surprised to hear the BS I heard since nothing was happening at that time. We are also pretty close friends. I guess any time a male and female are close, people have to say stupid ****.

Exactly. I'm sure people would talk about us but everyone knows my exH had affairs so no one expects me to be involved with a MM.