First let me thank the all the "other women" on EP. I think I've been able to overcome the normal pitfalls every man falls into because I read your stories and got some great advice. I thought I would have until tonight to gather my thoughts and send an email to my OW stressing my true feelings, but late morning she contacted me. Lately she's been minimizing contact so I knew I was getting somewhere with what I told her yesterday. She was trying to be all business but I hit her with something similar to my last story (http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-The-Other-Woman/4756924). She then talked again about how she didn't want to hurt anyone, including me, my wife, my daughter, and her fiance. She said she's so happy that she met me and I have such a great heart and she doesn't know what else to say. Unfortunately I had to leave for a meeting so I just told her that I don't want to hurt anybody either but I think she is something great so I can't just pass up the opportunity to be with her. She waited for me to be able to talk to her again. Literally this day was so amazing because we both pretty much said screw everything else just so we could talk. It was so hard being serious when talking to her. It is so intoxicating to hear her voice I have trouble concentrating. She asked why I thought she was special. She told me how she has told her fiance so much about me and even joked what if I liked her. She threatened to hang up on me if I keep suggesting she leave her fiance, but she never hung up. Then she threatened to kill me lol. She told me she thought about not talking to me at all today so our feelings would disappear but I told her she already tried that and that did not work. She also admitted to trying to reduce contact so I wouldn't pursue her as much. I just stayed strong and kept telling her how important I thought she was. Despite everything she said she just wanted to stay on the phone with me as much as possible. I feel like we made huge progress today. I think she really knows I'm serious and that she means a lot to me even though I was scared to tell her. If I keep it up I feel like there is a chance we have a future together. At one point she said something about not telling her fiance I had feelings for her because he would be upset and I told her that to make him feel better he could have my wife.
wakeupdead wakeupdead
31-35, M
4 Responses Aug 25, 2014

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good luck, its great for us to hear the other side, and it's even better if it works out for you two! You met for a reason, and if you believe it, that's the only way it will be. ;)

Good good good :)
Bit of honesty and openness does all the world of good. At least she can now make informed decisions. I think you need to keep the momentum up now. Not talking of leaving her fiancé again (that clearly annoyed her and I'll tell you why-as much as we don't like our husbands or whoever, only WE can slag them off or make decisions about them. We protect them if anyone tries to say something about them or force our decisions). So instead of that route, now concentrate on making her see how good you are together.
I'm doing the same-I never slag HER off. I don't even tell him not to see her. I just make our time more special so when he's with her he wishes he was with me instead. They must come to their decisions on their own. But I know time is not on your side. So increase the meet ups. Increase the calls a bit. Just be in her peripheral more than usual but casually, not over the top. Now and again reinforce what you have said-not by tellin her he's not right for her. But how serious you are about her. Also, she may be reluctant to end her engagement if she sees you're still attached. Make moves now to become single. Make it real. X

You win. You win at everything. You keep after her and make sure she knows you love her and are serious. Ugh, good for you for having a set of balls. Seriously, go talk to my MM and smack some sense into him.

Haha. I will keep after her. She's not going to get away that easily. Whatever I have to do, I will do it. I would love to talk to your MM and smack some sense into him. Seriously I owe my success to you girls her on EP. I think I would have taken the easy route and given up already if it wasn't for you.

I won't be able to talk to atty until Friday at the earliest. I am looking at the paperwork. Even a simple divorce is pretty daunting! I will see what specifics I can find and give her asap.