No matter how often we communicate all day and how much I feel he truly loves me, it's never seem enough for me to feel secure about our relationship. Just having one of those days when I doubt everything about us.

Do you get those feelings too?
ownomore ownomore
31-35, F
4 Responses Aug 29, 2014

I have the same insecure feelings... Especially when he is so far away ... That insecure feelings made me wanted to get out of this relationship so many times ... I hate that feelings so badly. However I failed every time i tried to walk out ... Coming back to him and feel his love for me ... And i know i can't leave him... So i'd better live with it and love myself and trust him and fight away the insecure feelings because at the end of the day, i know i am much better than his wife in EVERYTHING ...

Know what you mean. We chatted an hour today. He had a long work day. But Im left here wondering as he is going 4 hours away tomorrow with the wife for a wedding for his business associate. I have no idea when he is leaving or when he is coming back or even if staying over night there. I havent heard from him since 1. Im certain he is in bed. I am just disappointed. I would have appreciated he at least clueing me in...but maybe it just doesn't matter.

Yeah just one text would make everything alright. Just knowing that you're in his mind.

I think that is normal to feel this in this type of relations ... to feel the insecurity cause is a relation in 3 ... is not only yours ... and in general, we want exclusivity ... and no matter how secure they will try to make us ... we will always see also the grey part ... exclusivity that is missing from our circle to be complete...

I read your post that you've been an OW for 2 years now. Does your mm have any plan on leaving?

he is saying that yes ... but ... you can never know what will be ...

time will tell:-) and we will see :-)

and what is scares me ... is the fact that I got use to it .. to have him but not have him... and if some day I will really have him ... I will accept him for all day long ?!

Oh that totally makes sense. Currently, you get a break from him once in awhile. Things will change once you live together or when he can fully devote his time to you. But I'm sure it will be a great to have that with him.

I don't know if it will be great or not ... I know that we have love, respect, suport, friendship , same things that we love... I know how it is to have him 2 weeks / month totally with me and near me and in my bed ... but I am still afraid that once that we will make the step to live all the time in 2 things will be change ... from my side, from his side ... cause psychological speaking both we will change... the insecurity that we both feel now is nice cause is making a game to concur ( me him and he me )... when we will take the decision to change the relation automatic the game will change ... and may be transformed in boring and normal marriage...

to live with him in the same house, to come back from
work and to find him
home all the time, to share all the things all the time ... even that is love , good and strong friendship .. are this enough to change our relation ?!

4 More Responses

I don't have those feelings, no....But why exactly do you feel insecure if you have a healthy relationship?

Knowing that she's still part of his life (thru friends, shared properties) gives me those feelings.

Well, that I can understand.