I am happy being the other woman because this is the choice I have made for me for now. I know my boyfriend loves me and he also loves his wife, for different reasons and in different ways. My husband understands that I love him first and foremost but that I also have love for my boyfriend. I know this sounds complicated but it's my life.

While there are days I miss my boyfriend, that's ok. I know I will likely see him again or find other ways to connect if we can't meet in person.

I enjoy my polyamory lifestyle. It reminds me that love has many forms and many drivers. Sometimes it's a touch and sometimes it's a long conversation. Sometimes it's with my husband and sometimes it's not.
mcmcintosh mcmcintosh
31-35, F
5 Responses Aug 31, 2014

Everyone is aware of the situation and from this short post it seems no one has a problem with it so nothings wrong. It's ok, as I see it.

I wonder why you are posting. Are you wanting validation or are you wanting people to attack you based on this? Are you wanting to feel naughty or pushed out of society (can't think of better words). Do you need someone to say hey this is ok. Or is it a case of purely wanting to tell others as you can't always do that? That is what interests me here, what made you feel the need to post this?
Really at the end of it all its only your opinion that matters and the opinions of those involved.

Sounds a bit sad

I. So. Wish. That my MM and his wife could bring themselves to declare their marriage "open." He has me, his long-term mistress, she has taken lovers on and off for more than a decade. Since he works excruciatingly long hours and she likes to travel the globe, they spend little time together. So... why not just admit to that which is fact anyway? If nothing else, it would give me a bit more legitimacy. Yet, such is the stigma of illicit love that they can't bring themselves to broach the topic... Sigh.

Yeah it's not an easy thing for many people. Just look at the negative comments on this post lol. I wish my boyfriend would too but he has chosen not to and I don't make decisions for him so it is what it is.

I only saw one truly negative comment, which is about as good as it gets around here ;) But you are right, we can't make decisions for others, and since my MM and his wife have long stopped talking about emotions, feelings and intimacy, a heart-to-heart about leading an open marriage is clearly not in the books. Grrr...

Yep. Best of luck ;) I've learned things can change in one moment so I enjoy what I can in life. Along the way, I try to do more good than bad and hope I influence others to do the same.

Same here, sister =)

1 More Response

I'm glad you posted this. I was thinking something similar, I think my MM loves me in a way he'll never love his wife, and loves her in a way he'll never love Mr. Were occupy unique places in his heart.

Thank u for understanding.

I am glad you found a balance in your life. My husband would never allow me to have him and a another man.

Yeah it's been an experience along the way. Hope you find (or have already found) your balance in life.

I do not if I can.

I feel sorry for you for not comprehending that your idea of love and "true loyalty" is not the only one that matters. Polyamory is actually more about love, respect, and loyalty than monogamy ever could be. How can that be madness? It's a shame more people don't embrace so called "alternate" lifestyle choices and accept the reality of others as valid and normal.
Rock on mcmcintosh. 😉