What a Mess

Hi everyone

Here it goes...met him at work 3 years ago and it just clicked...both unhappily married.  I have no children and while he wasn't the reason I left my marriage he certainly was the catalyst.  I knew if I felt like this I wasn't and hadn't been in love with my husband for  awhile.  My husband and I separated amicably about a year ago.  This is his story... He has children and has admitted to me that the   thought of their disappoval of him plus the possiblility of him not seeing them or his grandkids is devastating to him.   So here we are....in the meantime he lost his job about 2 years ago due to company restructuring and has been struggling to find something permanent since.

 I know we love each other but somehow I feel that he will not give up his family for me.  You know, he loves me but not enough I guess.  I am very happy with my decision to leave my husband and I like my life as it is now but it would be nice if it all worked out.  However I am somewhat of a realist...I try to be supportive especially about the job situation.  I suppose the healthy thing to do would be to end the whole thing but somehow I can't bring myself to do that just yet.  I know that this is not fair to his wife either.  He should not be betraying her but the vibe I get is that he is just afraid of losing his relationship with his kids.  As I said before ....what a mess!   Any advice or support out there? 

beatrice11 beatrice11
51-55, F
1 Response Mar 17, 2009

hey beatrice11 - I'm in a similiar boat although I had actually just left my husband when I met this new man.<br />
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I feel that if he didn't have children, he would have left his wife but it's the fear of losing contact with them that is stopping him. He also wants to do the 'right' thing by them finanically, which is a *whole* big can of worms I'm not going to open.<br />
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And I understand how you feel towards his wife as I think this situation isn't fair on any of us involved, me, him, his wife & the kids.<br />
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I've said I want him to have told her he's leaving & have a convincing plan by the end of the month - so watch this space.....