Need to Tell Someone!

keeping this all bottled up is taking its toll.

i met a man at work couple years ago. im a nurse, he is a doctor. have always found him attractive. hes so sweet n smart n amazing in every way. BUT married. so off limits. never would i have ever though nething would happen. but it has. started with texts, innocent at first, friendly, then meeting in person. n it just all happened so fast. i feel like we r perfect for each other. really. perfect. meant to b. soul mates. BUT. its been 3 months. 3 months of this affair, he keeps telling me he wants to leave his wife that he is unhappy, but they have 3 kids n he doesn't want to upset them or leave them. he stays in the basement. he doesn't wear his ring. he left the house for a couple days but went back because kids were upset. not to mention how bad i feel about the affair bc of his wife n kids i could lose my job! n ppl at work r starting to question our relationship n i heard that i mite get talked to about it OMG. im freaking out. i want to stop talking to him but i love him. n i feel like im already in so deep. n he says he will leave, his wife knos he wants to leave n she trying to make him stay.

i feel like an awful horrible person. but when i tell him i want to stop he says the sweetest things n does so much for me. i don't want to lose him.

but my job is at stake, n the guilt is killing me. how do i end this affair??!!!

lostnconfused23 lostnconfused23
2 Responses Mar 21, 2009

You CANNOT afford to lose your job over this. I lost my job indirectly due to my affair and 3 months later I'm still unemployed.<br />
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Tell him you'll be happy to see him, ONCE HE'S LEFT THE MARITAL HOME. If he unhappy enough to really leave, then you can make him happy once he's separated.<br />
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Once he's out of the house and you're dating, there will be no guilt.<br />
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Now on the other hand....if all he's been feeding you is the typical cheating husband bullsh*t, he's still sleeping w/ his wife, not in the basement, and could be one of the many married men who don't wear a ring. Doctors frequently don't wear rings. While this affair is romantic for you, for him it's much more likely to be a fling which allows him to spice up his life and relieve some tension.<br />
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You can buy the book, "Will He Really Leave Her For Me?" It will offer you a lot of insight into your affair and give you the strength to move on.<br />
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Good luck!

Wow, I can feel your pain and truly relate. The only way to do this is cold turkey. Break it off until he leaves her. I know this because my situation was similar and it's been a year now, a long painful year. He does say the sweetest things, and I do love him, but he keeps saying he wants to leave and can't follow through. <br />
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Unfortunately staying with him will do horrible emotional things to you over time and you will get resentful, angry, feel used and so on. Not to mention the affect on your health and career. Your early enough in the process to break free and if he leaves great, if not you're saving your self a lot of time and heart ache. Trust me.<br />
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I just started a Blog, on my break up, you might want to check it out. I'm working on cold turkey myself.