Don't Know Where to Turn..

I having been seeing someone for a little over two years, he is younger than me and of a different nationality, and in the beginning it was casual and became more serious. He was divorced and has a child that is ten. We grew more serious and started seeing each oher with more frequency, but I always noticed his availability was odd. I would see him several times a week, but never regularly and never on the weekends, which I chalked up to his work (he had two jobs) and seeing his child. He would stay over, sometimes twice a week, sometimes once, and would text daily. Just recently, I received a blocked call on my cell - and the woman was very demanding and wanted to know who I was, told me her name and said little else. I mentioned it to him, and he and I laughed about it, until two days later, he came over and told me right away that he had found out it had been his ex.

I was upset, but he explained that she had gotten a phone bill of his and called from it. Things continued to get strange from there on, including the fact that he stopped texting me and started emailing me daily instead. I had never seen where he was living, as he told me he was living with friends, and rented a room, so he was always at my house, and he lives an hour away from my residence. One thing lead to another in conversation yesterday, and I finally just asked if he was living with his ex wife and child and he said yes.

I am really depressed and upset, and not sure what to do with all of this. He says his child is the reason he is there, that he has no intention of getting back with her and there is nothing there. He told me he loves me and knows where he wants to be, but is torn due to his child, who is much happier when they "play house" and he sees them together. I don't want to force him to make a choice, and feel I should just walk away, although I love him with all my heart, but I also know that I can't compete with a child and the mother. He is Latin and I am Caucasian, which is irrelevelant in all ways except for cultural differences. I know that he won't let go that easily, and he said he needs to just get his things and move in with me, but after I commented that he needs to figure out what he wants to do, he said to give him 40 days - that he would know. Then said that he couldn't be away from me for that long he would miss me too much. He then told me he was in love with me and knew where he wanted to be again, and I just have no idea what to do next. I'm not naive, but was definitely blindsided by all of this, as I trusted what he told me for over two years was the truth. Any advice would be appreciated.

murakami murakami
36-40
2 Responses Mar 24, 2009

The first thing I'd want to see is the DIVORCE PAPERS. NO PAPER, NO NOOKIE!<br />
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If he can't produce them, end it.<br />
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He needs 40 days? For WHAT? A flood to occur and receed? This has Pla<x>yer and USER written all over it!

Remember who you are in all of this, listen closely to what he is telling you. Reread your posts and look for the red warning flags. Save yourself, heart and mind!