I ended things for good yesterday. I think he was surprised, but it was a very emotional ending. He is a very strong person by nature, but I could tell he was hurting. He asked me if there was someone else. I told him no. I cannot even date with him in my life. I simply said I wanted more. He said I deserve more.

For anyone on here who keeps saying "side piece," "meaningless sex," etc. you are wrong. He told me he will never stop loving me. He gets hit on all the time, so he was not looking for sex. He wanted love, tenderness and affection. He found that with me. He told me the only reason he is still married is for his daughter. He simply cannot walk away from her. I understand. I could never leave my sons. He asked if we can be friends. I cannot. It hurts too much.

As he left, he said if I ever need anything, he will be right there for me. He said, "I'm so sorry my love," and he was gone.
lavc lavc
51-55, F
15 Responses Mar 22, 2015

So sorry ....... :(

Oh lavc. That's sad, but understandable. What a heartbreak to find the right person at the wrong time. Sending love and light your way. Xoxo

Ditto on the kids. That's why I'm still in my sexless marriage. And it's not just the sex I miss. It's being desired by a woman who also wants to be desired by me.

Thank you for this.... I am the ow and my mm says he is leaving as soon as he is done with school. Says he doesn't want the stress of divorce while in school.... He makes me feel more love than I have ever felt with anyone, but I am torn. We don't see each other often and makes a big deal out of not always having sex when we do see each other. So I know it's not all about that.... He is very lonely at home, and their relationship is non existent.... To a point..... He goes out of his way to make sure she doesn't find out and out of his way to make sure she isn't hurt or mad...... He does not do these things for me. I feel unimportant a lot of the time.... But he swears I am.... I don't know what to believe , even though he keeps saying August telling me of his changes at work and even talking about getting me a car and buying us a house...... I am so torn on whether to wait or not.... Any advice?

What are you feeling deep down? Do you believe he will actually leave in August? If you trust and believe him, give him until August. If he doesn't make a move, you can reevaluate the situation then. My MM never said to me he will leave. He simply cannot walk away from his daughter while she is this young. We truly love each other. I feel that at my age, I cannot wait any longer. You have to make yourself happy. That is the best advice I can give you. I'm always here to talk to if you need to vent.

Thank you for responding :) it's so nice to have someone to talk to, I have dealt with most of this by myself with only him to talk to....
To be honest I'm not sure how to feel about what he says he will do... It took me months just to get him to talk about it. I almost walked away at that point.... I wasn't forcing him to talk at all, I just felt we were at a point we should either end it or make a plan... I thought I would feel better but I still have my doubts. I'm not sure if it stems from my past or if I don't trust he will follow through... I am recently divorced myself, and this happened out of no where... He is the most loving man I have ever met and when we are together I don't feel insecure or feel like I can't be myself and he feels the same. He is always telling me I am the best thing that has ever happened to him and I also feel that way..... But, like your mm, mine has a young daughter and I feel he really wants this but at the same time I wonder if he can really walk away.....

You have to wait and find out. You cannot give him an ultimatum, or he may resent you. He has to leave on his own. If he decides not to, then you have a difficult decision to make.

Thanks for chatting with me :) I really appreciate your advice

1 More Response

He does love u. He wanted to be with you because he didnt love the frist one enough.

I'm proud of you you did the right thing for you you did what you did to do and hugs you'll be strong and you can move on we will have to pick up the pieces and move on I've had to do it many times and you've always got friends here.

well done

Hugs to you. I commend you for being strong and wanting more and standing by your convictions

Damn....Kids complicate life like nothing else. Sometimes your love for your child means you cannot be with the man or woman that you love. It's sad and tragic, and wrong in a big way. For me, it's a theme in my life I just can't get away from. I couldn't live like that. It seems like your love for eachother is real and true, but in a way wrong because he's already married. If I get married, it will be because I'm madly in love with her. Because I want her every damn day in every single way. It's not just about the passion, it's being close and feeling connected to eachother. I understand why people settle, but that will never be me....I'm so sorry for your loss, and good luck

Thank you. I hope it happens for you. If it does, no matter how difficult things get, do not take each other for granted.

I know it. I won't. I'm only getting married once and only if I'm sure beyond a shadow of a doubt. What you and your lover had, that's what I'm gonna have with my woman or I won't be putting that ring on her finger

That's so sad. Where do you think you lost that passion, that "being in love" feeling?

I'm so sorry....you poor thing. It sucks feeling like your trapped, and then even worse, sometimes it's like whatever you do is wrong in a way, and others would simply not understand because they don't know what it's like behind closed doors...

Wow. That's unbelievable. I really don't understand some people. **** vs. your naked horny wife whose in your bed and wants it......this is an easy one, it should not be a tough decision. I'm so sorry for you :(. Like why? Why would he marry you and everything if you somehow what, didn't do it for him? You couldn't satisfy his desires. It's selfish and it's deceitful. Call me crazy, but any girl I'm with, it's because I wanna share my life with her, and because I can't ******* wait for bedtime :). If you don't wanna make love to your partner every day of atleast most days, there's a big problem there, and it's a core foundational problem that, as in your case, will go on to sabotage the entire relationship. I'm so sorry for you. You lived and sacraficed for him, only to find out your relationship was clearly not what you thought it was. I hate guys like that, cuz you invested so much, and he wasn't worth it. And there's a lot of guys out there like me who are looking, who have been looking for a good woman whose as down and dedicated as they are......it's sad and it's ****** up. I'm sorry and I'll be here for ya to talk and being if you need that

And vent*

There need to be more men like you NewEra!!

4 More Responses

Actually LAVC - it sounds like Winter Barbie (aka "QueenB80") was probably dumped .... LOL .... another sicko with nothing but time on her hand ... Maybe she should use her hand to calm herself down a bit ... LOL .... BLOCK.

I disagree

Wow , how ignorant and stupid are you? You think that only women who get dumped have a problem with classless dirty ****** like you who **** other peoples husbands? You should be ashamed of yourself, you piece of gutter trash......too bad you survived that suicide attempt, you should probly try again......keep trying until you get it right please......BLOCK

Don't worry kitty. I reported this piece of crap. Only a coward bashes other people yet marks his or her profile private.

I flagged it as well- I have NEVER flagged anyone we are all entitled to a difference of opinion, but this child is dangerous- and BTW - It was my first husband who was a Vietnam Vet , came home with severe PTSD, killed himself. I was 6 months along with my first child. Imagine he fought for the freedoms of people like JessTheMess ..... Hugs

That is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. My MM is a vet and went through hell. It is such a shame there was no help back then.

I don't listen to people like her. I'm just not entertaining her.

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*Hugs*

Ouch, this hits a nerve. I know our parting would be the same scenario, I know i would have to be the one to break it off because he is the same as yours was. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now, but i am happy you made your best decision for you and wish you the strength to move forward with no regrets. ((hugs))

heart is just breaking for you.
It's so hard - but it must be.
We are entitled to full lives - I'm still dealing with the empty hole in my heart and soul. Some days are better then others, but it hurts so bad.
Much love and support your way.
Here to "listen" ...... XO

Thank you Kitty. I know you have been through it. It helps leaning on people who understand.

Having the debate myself on when to end it for the same reasons. How long were you involved? I'm thinking the sooner I move to ending things the less it will hurt.

I have been with him for a year and a half. It hurts, but if it went on any longer, I wouldn't be able to get through it.

I'm sorry....I feel like my mm would be the same way...hang in there. We are here for you

Thank you.