I haven't posted here in a long, long time. Mostly it's because I had a hell of a D-day in early February. My H discovered the affair, confronted me & threatened to send his proof to MM's wife.

I use the opportunity to end my marriage. And so did MM.

But, we did not end it to be with each other. We took the time to make sure we were ending it because we didn't want to be married to those individuals anymore. We are together, but at least we know we left our marriages for the right reasons.

It has been absolutely incredible. We are able to support each other completely through the difficulty of breaking up a marriage and separating houses with children. We're able to love each other openly, which has been downright amazing. And now, we're getting to discover the parts of each other's worlds that had to stay hidden from each other for so long. Friends, family, etc.

So, my friends, MM now means My Man to me. And I am no longer the OTHER woman. I am HIS woman.

Surreal.
crazycontrolled crazycontrolled
41-45, F
20 Responses Apr 30, 2015

Just remember, your old spot may well be reopened.
I wish you all the best.

So happy for you :)

Awww another success story! Those statistics are going up as we speak ladies!! So happy for you! My guy will be divorced in a couples weeks. Things are fabulous here as well! Hugs girl!!

I hope it wrks out well for u

toke ball but hay u did it 4 the right reson good 4 u

That's awesome keep going guys!!!!

Congrats wishing yall a lot of happiness

Congratulations! :D
This is so inspiring.

congrats!! ...I know im not the only one thinking..damnnn I wish I could be writing this!! haha im happy for u in a healthy jealous way!! ;)

Congratulations. You deserve happiness and are blessed to have found it. It's been an amazing ride with plenty of ups and downs, but your strength and intelligence has led you to a wonderful place. Enjoy my friend, and thanks for taking us along with you on the ride. ;)

Hopefully he doesn't end up finding a new OW once he gets bored with you though!! I hope it all works out for the best :)

That's possible even if we hadn't gotten together the way he had. I'm not afraid of that.

The way *we had

I absolutely adore how people always create negativity with their statements based on some "simplistic and very limiting beliefs". People should learn to be "teeny weeny" bit more open minded, before they are open mouthed! :) hahahaha

Just stating the obvious! I mean I have cheated myself so I have no issues with that all I'm saying is that I wouldn't trust that the MM would leave his wife and then be faithful with me. I mean really? It's never all the wife's fault that he chose to cheat. They are still in the honeymoon phase so of course all is great. They have new found freedom to be together without the added stress of being caught. But like any long term relationship, the initial excitement and novelty will wear off. If he cheated on the ex he will likely cheat on her too! I'm not innocent to this myself. Boredom eventually takes its toll. That's all I'm trying to say.

Is it obvious? What makes it so obvious. To whom is it obvious. To you. And that is because you believe it. So when you say "I wouldn't trust..."and give me lots of reasons and predictions based on prior experiences of yours or other individuals; I say limiting belief.

Everyone has reasons they cheat. If those reasons are absent in a new relationship, then they may not. Sure, there are other reasons that could pop up, but that's the case in any relationship.

Like I said I hope it works out for the best.....

4 More Responses

Surreal is a good word choice.
Congratulations.

Fantastic, I wish that would happen for me! Xxxxx

Congrats happy for you!!!!

Life it goes on what do you want now

How long were you with him before you both left?

8 months.

Do you both have kids? Has it been stressful?

It's been difficult at times, definitely. But, I know that im doing what i need to do and what i believe will make me better for my kids. I have 2 girls and it's important for me to show them that they can be strong & independent and stand on their own. That choosing happiness doesn't mean failure.

Thanks for answering my questions honestly. I think you are right about its the fire within. I think his fire is just out and always had been. But it's hard because he is really good to me.

How was your relationship with your now ex? Was he not nice to you? Or the love just fizzled out?

Thanks for answering my questions. Lol

No problem. I've said before that I have no problem answering questions as long as things stay respectful. We don't have to agree, but we should respect each other.

My ex and I just grew apart. We wanted different things. He had no drive or ambition and over several years of being in various states of unemployment, I found I had lost respect for him and was no longer in love with him. But, I was not brave enough to take the step to leave. Things were fairly comfortable. I had a roommate. Not toxic, but I wasn't happy. I started the affair, which is not the best way to deal, but I own it. And from that relationship found the courage to want more for myself, want happiness.
My H asked me at one point during the conversations after discovery "you would rather be alone than with me?" The answer was yes. I'm not afraid of being alone. I am afraid of living the rest of my life without happiness.

Sounds like my fiancé he had no sex drive or ambition anymore. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

There's nothing you can do. Those fires need to come from within

Oh one more if you don't mind. How did your ex husband find out?

He hacked into every account I had and found messages

So he suspected something?

Yes

10 More Responses

Thanks everyone. I really is somewhat like a fairy tale. Still a long road ahead for each of us but we get to travel it together.

Fantastic! :) Wishing you all the best in your future

Wow! Great to hear an update from you. What a journey, very happy that things are working out so well.

congrats! glad everything worked out for you 2 and you got what you wanted :)