Hello beautiful ladies. I don't post here any more since I am (thankfully) no longer the other woman. I see so many of you struggling with "should I stay, or should I go?". That is truly a question only you can answer, but for the majority of us, no matter how much we love our men, this is a toxic and unintentionally degrading relationship. We have to ask ourselves some difficult questions, and oftentimes, in our heart of hearts, we already know the answers. I chose to be free. Free from secrets. Free from unnecessary anxieties. Free from the horrible "what if's". And as I sit her typing this, I am sitting outside the office of one of my potential professors at a wonderful university. I am entering college for the first time at 41! Pursuing a degree in Biology with an emphasis in wildlife. If I went back to him, he would have held me back. I would not be able to focus on anything that matters to ME. Yes, I will always love who he was with me, but today, I love me more. My dreams are far more important than the uncertainties of that relationship. I choose, ME. Stay strong ladies. xoxo
ravenofthedark ravenofthedark
41-45, F
9 Responses Jul 17, 2015

Always glad to see a post from you. Glad things are going well for you.

Yes!!!! I have been where you ate right now. Thankful for no more secrets...drive by kisses, late night text....no more of it!!! I'm in a relationship with a man who does not hide me from his family and friends. I can call him anytime throughout the day without wondering if she's around. I have the key to his house and his cars. He comes to my job and hand delivers me flowers. I am not a secret. I am not participating in hurting another person. I'm free to love and it feels so d.a.m.n. good.

Thank you needed that encourgement..

Great post! Let's start a group "I USED to be the Other Woman"!

I did the same as you and I feel liberated free on anxiety and feeling I was not good enough


Congrats! Enjoy your time at school. You will find many social adventures there.

Thank God you saw the light.

Love this xxx

Love this Raven! I love me more too. I loved proving to myself that I was stronger than I gave myself credit for.

It's so nice to no longer be imprisoned by worry and doubt.

I couldn't have said it better raven. In the last two years since the end of the affair, I have been so much more present in my life and work, have engaged in many more new projects, all of which were impossible during the affair as I felt I needed to be available just in case we could synchronize our timing and meet at last....
So exhausting and time consuming, despite all the highs.
I will never be sorry about the past. We have arrived at a point where we can be friends again and that helps with our mutual feelings for each other.
I find that sticking around and reading about other people still in affairs, actually helps my resolve and I get to dispense some of the strategies I used to recover my sanity and my peace :))