OH. MY. GOD. It's final, he's single, and as of 9:37am today I am no longer the OW!!!
Shardsofsorrow Shardsofsorrow
36-40, F
53 Responses Jul 29, 2015

congrats... may you find the happiness you've been waiting for... no more hiding... check back here once in a while and let us know how is it going... most of us want to be on that side of the tunnel, on that greener grass... jealous !! <3

So happy for you sweetie!!! Just because you are #1. doesn't mean you can leave us, 😀👍💖

I'm not going anywhere, gotta support my girls!!

That's great ! Now you to can walk hand in hand .No more hiding !

Wow so much judgment here. No one knows the situation,and every situation is different. Just remember, no matter how flat the pancake is, there are always 2 sides.. If this is meant to be than so it shall be. Hope for happiness :) good luck in your new endeavor!!!

wise words.. :)

Congrats
Wish u a very lovely n most happening time ahead

What a *****

This from the guy who says looks are the most important thing in a marriage...

Never said in a marriage, but looks are included of course. Quit creeping on me fool.

Perhaps you need to go back and look at your posts. It clearly states that looks are the most important thing in a marriage, dating, or a 1 night stand. And you opened yourself up to creeping by commenting such filth on MY post. If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Didn't read that long *** crap, but thinks for giving me a whole paragraph. Glad I mean that much to you....

It's ok, everyone is already aware of your maturity level, but thanks for confirming it :)

It's ok, I'm fine that you are obsessed with me. Later....😘

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super happy for you!

Now you will be happy forever at last.

Yay!Becarefull you may become the OW again LOL

Not likely

Likely there will be a new OW

More likely than not.

Well congrats.

You will always be the side ***** if you were before 😅

Only one ***** up in this house, and it ain't me.

No it isn't always true once a cheater always a cheater. If you were not the main cause of his marriages demise then you should be fine. As long as he doesn't have a history of this behavior either, and of course you don't have a history of this behavior either. It could work out and you could be very happy together. Good luck.

I have been the OW several times...from personal experience. If a person is a cheater they will likely always be a cheater. I wish you the best though in your relationship.

It sounds likely that you are attracted to serial cheaters, so that probably skews your experiences. Thank you for the well wishes, though.

so he totally told his ex wife every thing about you right away? or was it a secret? Honestly...if you are the " other woman " hes already proven hes a cheater. however i do understand that some times people change.

I never said he didn't cheat. But "once a cheater always a cheater" is a blanket statement that does not cover all situations.

More often then not though people prefer to be cheaters then to openly talk about their feelings with their partner because they are scared that the honesty will " hurt them" most people don't have the Polyarmous view that some of us do.

Since he and I have talked very openly from the very beginning, I'm not worried about it.

ok. well if you are not worried then my statement still stands and I wish both of you the best of luck. but don't forget to take care of your self.

Sounds like you and SystemK should get together. Thankfully not everyone is like you.

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And now you shall be replaced, just as you did to her.

I didn't replace her.

All the best!
What's next? Moving in together? Engagement? Marriage? Or just continuing to date?

Just continuing to date for the moment :). We have no need to rush, it's nice to just know that we can move into normalcy now.

You the girl that ruin his relationship :3 way better

Nope, the ending of his relationship had nothing to do with me.

Ahahahahahahah that's how u spleen at night? Thinking that? Clever ;)

Nothing clever about it, it's the truth.

Congrats!!! It's not always as easy as once a cheater always a cheater. I came close with my twin flame, but guilt kept him in a miserable, sexless, loveless marriage. I hope it works out!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you!! And thank you for understanding :)

I can't believe how many people have taken the time to be so rude and negative! You handle it with such grace :) I know I would not be able to.

Thank you :). Last year I had one person who made profiles as fast as I could block them, strictly to harass me. At last count there was at least 17. This is nothing compared to that!

just cause you're not the other woman, doesn't mean you're the only woman.

Thank you for that sage bit of knowledge.

you're welcome:)))

Yahoo. Sp glad for you

I'm so happy for you!!!

Thank you!! It's starting to sink in finally!!

hahahah old people

Who will be next to hold that title?

I hope he doesn't have kids
Because you may of just ruined more lives than just yours

He doesn't have kids so you can rest easy tonight.

I still won't
Ive been in a similar situation and since I have a conscience I can't ever sleep easy
*****

Sounds like a personal problem to me, since I've done nothing to you. Might wanna get that looked at.

Sounds like a personality problem to me
Sleeping with a married man and destroying three lives minimum while doing it
Good for u

No lives were destroyed. They didn't divorce because of me. In fact, their divorce has given them both the freedom to live their lives free of misery.

Oh
So that's how u rationalize
I congratulate you on the gold medal in your mental gymnastics

You don't have to rationalize the truth.

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Lmfao, dumb little girls like you always get what they deserve.

And rude little boys should get their mouths washed out with soap.

You should start with your man since he's out ******* another girl now.

He's not rude, he knows how to treat a lady.

Yeah by ******* around on them! Lol.

Sounds like somebody is bitter about not getting laid lol

Sounds like you're bitter about your loser boyfriend. Truth hurts don't it? Don't come crying to ep when you find him in bed with a 20 year old.

Hun, I'm happy as a clam. And if I find him bed with a 20 year old, I'll just join them!

Nevermind, why was i expecting any morals for a nasty *****. Stupid nasty ****. Enjoy life.

Haters are gonna hate Shards. Just do your thing :)

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people like you hurt innocent families and women. Disgusting

Nobody was hurt in the making of this post.

Not from this post. But, from the actions that this post is related to. Until you are on the other side of the situation you will never understand.

I've been cheated on, don't make assumptions. It's not the end of the world. And nobody was destroyed or inconsolable or anything else, they divorced for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with me or my relationship with him.

Now you're the one being cheated on. Congrats!!

Not sure where you got your info but you need to check your sources, since he's not cheating on me.

You will always be the other woman. Not that it is a bad thing. He should have ended the other relationship before starting with you. I hope if he stays with you he does not cheat on you.

I'm not sure how I can "always be the other woman" if there is no other woman??

Congratulations!

Yay...... Now he can cheat on you!!!!

No he can't.

Good luck

Maybe it's time for him to be the other guy?

Why?

Being the other woman is already a compromising and "controlled" position in a relationship.Sounds like he needs to make sure he won't do the same things that wrecked his situation leading to the "other woman"..

Sounds like you're assuming an awful lot. I don't play "*** for tat", it's childish, and he and I have open communication about what lead to his situation, as you call it. I know what being in a controlled position is like and I guarantee you I've never been more in control of my life than I am right now. But thanks for the concern.

Unfortunately I have a agree with greenH. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.

He can't cheat on me.

Ok then.

Because that's not how our relationship works.

He has actually been with no one other than his now ex-wife for the duration of our relationship. I, however, was, but it was with his complete knowledge and he was ok with it. Our arrangement works for us. If he found someone outside of our relationship I would not consider it cheating, it is something we have discussed and agreed to.

Thank you! Everybody wants to hate on the OW, but in reality our relationship had nothing to do with why they divorced. I'm assuming it's fear that their spouse could at some point do the same thing, but that's why you communicate with your SO. Your reply is a breath of fresh air :)

Um...so I've been reading through all these comments and would like to point something out. This is by no means coming from a hateful place or anything like that. Maybe you brought all this upon yourself by categorizing yourself as the other woman when you technically never have been, according to what you're saying here. Why give yourself the title?

Im only going off what I read here. I don't really care to go through and read your posts. The observation only came from what I read here.

I was the OW for 19.5 months. As of today I no longer am.

What I'm saying is that you said it was an open relationship. If that was the agreed upon set up between all parties, and he decided he didn't wanna be with her but was still with you, I personally wouldn't call it an affair. Unless I misunderstood something, and the open relationship is exclusively between you and the guy, then I understand.

The open relationship was exclusive to the two of us, his wife was unaware of my existence.

As you said, you are a complete stranger and ignorant of the dynamics of my relationship. I do not have the time nor the desire to explain the amount of work that has gone into making our relationship what it is.

Lmao OMG

MyHoudini
Because they are both doing it lol they both screw anything got it lol

Not true.

Same old played out lines here. At least be creative.

Yes it is the same old played out line. And it's the only one I know

Then I suggest you find a new one.

I noticed who ever gets insulted by that comment were the cheaters so ya... Sorry to have insulted u. But fact is fact.

So because I cheated with him I will now be more likely to cheat on him, is that what you're saying?

If u had someone while your fooling around with him yes. Unfortunately that's how it is. I've seen it happen many times. My father did it to his last 2 wives and is starting to do it to his 3rd wife. So unfortunately the statement is true

No, unfortunately the statement is true FOR YOUR FATHER. One person does not dictate how another's life story reads. Just because one white person is racist doesn't mean all white people are racist. Just because one man is a serial cheater doesn't mean all men are serial cheaters.

Ok just remember when it happens, u think to urself... That ******* person was right. And your right now all white men are racist that has nothing to do with cheating on someone. But ok. Have a good one

Blanket statements, my friend, blanket statements. They'll smother you every time.

Good luck tho shards. In your case u seem happy about it, I hope I'm wrong for your sake. Because it seems that u really want it. But I'm just saying everyone I've encountered it has happened to

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But will you be TW now?

I'm happy for you - wish I was in your situation but sadly I don't think I'm ever likely to be. I hope it all works out for you both X

And then he will do the same thing he did to her to you, BUT the woman will be much younger than you. This is nothing to be proud of.

I'm 5 years older than his now ex, soooooo yeah, kinda not worried there.

I was 7 yrs older than the wife. She is a gold digging, atheist, who took her child out of school because she was too lazy to get up before 10 am, doesn't cook, clean or have sex. I'm not just going on his word either. It's the age of info. But he's so guilty, yes, she knew, and uses it, she pulled him back in every time. Last time she was served divorce papers. Pulls the tears & I'll change crap. Nice guys get screwed over, it's not always sex that drives a man or woman to cheat.

Congrats and enjoy!!!!!

Thank you!! Already making plans ;)

I wish you all the best in your future together

Good luck to you, not sure it's the healthy way to go but.....

He ain't hooking up with you..He's just going to continue leaving you as an "OPTION" because you were and was always an option..I doubt he broke up with his women to hook up with you..Jumping from one relationship wagon to another one is always unhealthy...I'm assuming he still had something going on with theirr ex spouse.If it was dead long ago,then he WASN'T MAN ENOUGH TO DUMP HER LONG AGO AND NOT ALLOW HIMSELF GET CAUGHT IN A FLING OR AFFAIR WITH YOU....I dunno if he got any courage, but I SO WOULDN'T TRUST ONE WORD FROM A CHEATER.

I wish you the best of luck!

thats great :) congratz :)

Just as she was replaced, you can be as well. He has already shown he is not faithful. Now he is single and can play the field.

Oh good lord, does ANYONE take the time to read? We are polyamorous.

Yes i get that-but you are not the winner. There in no reason for celebrations there is no sure thing. Especially from a man who can find the same relationship --polyamorous.-- with another as well.

Maybe you should stop treating folks as if they are stupid and such and stop talking down to them. Insults are not needed.

Agreed.

Yaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

You've been so patient. I wish you all the best for continued happiness.

Thank you!! And mine was one of the shorter ones, I wish the same happy ending for all the ladies who have been even more patient!

Congrats best wishes!!!!

Nice job

I didn't do anything, but thanks.

Hope it works out for you.. ;))

Thanks :)

Is he single because of a choice he made? Or did she finally find out and got rid if him? Either way, how can you be so happy? 19 months of lies and betrayal, if that is how he builds a relationship, good luck!

I find it amusing that those are the only two viable options you could think of and neither one are accurate! Like I told someone else, you have no idea what our relationship looks like, and I'll be happy if I like.

whateva, whateva, I do what I want.

Omfg 😂😂😂 I DO WHAT I WANT *sassy hand movement*

Why? Well all these "other women" stories are so morally wrong. I have been married for 25 years, until another woman came along. I have kidney disease and have been very ill. The "other woman" gave my husband what he needed. And the new of it all was, I am sure great. I am sure this is not the story she got from him, so lies. But after the new and wonder was gone, guess who he decided he loved? Now she is hurt. I feel bad for her, because I am sure she never got the truth. Why do you all put yourself in that position? Why not just say, not till you are single to begin with?

Why do you base all stories on your own? Just because my path is different than yours doesn't make it wrong.

Sorry, it is not just my own. I have seen many "other woman" get hurt the same way. I just don't understand, why women put themselves in that situation. Glad yours is working. Hope no one gets hurt.

No one was hurt.

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congrats...freedom...

I hope the road ahead leads you to the happiness you both are searching for. Sweet freedom!

Thank you!!

Happy for you!!

Thank you!!

Congrats.