I Am The Other Woman
We met online. From the very beginning he was totally, brutally honest with me. I have had married men try to get with me before, but they were all liars who mostly had the same story. This one was different. I could feel his pain. I could hear the sadness in his voice. His story? He has been married 19 years. They never had children. He is a lonely work-a-holic. She sounds like a little rich *****. Pretty, petite, arm candy. From the very beginning there was very little intimacy. I have been told that before..... but I never believed that story... but somehow I believe HIM. He was from another state. He traveled to the city I lived in every other week. He was really just lonely... looking for someone to go out to dinner with, share a movie with, etc.... Of course, we flirted back and forth but he never pressured or even asked me for sex or anything. I avoided him for several weeks.... Then one night I let my guard down and we IM'd each other almost all night. We only got an hour or 2 of sleep that night. After that, we decided to meet for dinner. When I walked in and saw him I thought he would NEVER like me. He was so handsome, so perfect. I am so NOT perfect. After dinner and drinks he walked me to my car. as we stood beside the car I looked at him... He was so nervous. I could tell he had NEVER done this before. I reached over and patted his hand and he was shaking like a leaf. So I held his hand. After a minute or two he leaned over and gave me the sweetest, kiss I have ever received. I kissed him back. We stood by my car and passionately kissed for at least an hour..... I went home, floating on a cloud.
The next day he sent me an email, telling me about the horrible guilt he was feeling.... he said he never expected to feel as he felt about me. He said he felt as if I was a drug that he was already addicted to. He said he is "friends" with his wife. They get along ok. She goes her way, he goes his way. He goes to the Lake alone almost every weekend. She goes on vacations with her friends to Las Vegas, etc.... They never do anything together. But he said they don't fight. They live a pretty peaceful life, living separately yet staying together. He said the only thing that he had always missed was passion and the joy that intimacy brings. He feels I am the missing piece that makes his puzzle complete. But yet........ He is afraid to tie my life up with no promise that he and I will ever be together. He is not a selfish person. He talks to me about my need to continue in my search for a good man. But I don't WANT anyone else.
We continued to see each other. I'd stay with him in his motel when he was in town. We talked about how it wasn't supposed to be like this... We weren't supposed to be feeling the way we feel about each other. The last time we spent a few days together I told him I love him. Before we parted ways he looked me in the eye and whispered, "I love you too....." That really freaked him out, so for the next week or so he poured himself into his work. I am torn up inside because I love this man. He is a good man... and awesome person.....
Please don't judge too harshly....... I am not a bad person..... Maybe I should have never met him for dinner.... but now it's too late. I love him and don't think I could ever bare the thought of losing him.... So I will continue to share as much of himself as he is able to share with me. Even if I do move on and start seriously dating another man... I will continue to give my married man my true heart and soul........... for I do believe I have found my soulmate. Just at the wrong time.... Isn't that Ironic.... as the song says.....
