I met a SG. A good one. First date at a coffee shop yesterday lasted for six hours. Just talking. And an amazing kiss afterward. Then we texted until bed. He is beautiful and sweet and smart and athletic. And he digs me a whole bunch. Best of all, he has been divorced for nearly 20 years. He was so giddy last night he said he felt like a 15 year old. When it was all said and done and I was getting ready to go to bed last night, I started to cry. It feels so foreign to have something feel like it could actually work out for me. And if it does, I need to let MM go. It will break my heart, but I want something real. I want to be number one. I want honesty and I want trust. I want to end the longing and sadness and jealousy that has become a routine part of my existence. And this 47 year old tall drink of water, this athletic, funny, sweet, gorgeous SINGLE man, may be exactly what I need.

MM was supposed to call me yesterday but never did. In fact, it was his idea to get together yesterday and that obviously didn't happen because once again, he just can't break away one Sunday a year. But for once, I had a wonderful, beautiful Sunday instead of a desperate, sad and lonely one, and I went to bed with a smile.
Stalked9 Stalked9
46-50, F
14 Responses Jan 11, 2016

I'm glad I found my SG too. But we are both independent so texting all day is not us. Someone I was seeing very recently was very very into me and was always calling, always texting, always telling me how I should move in with him. I completely broke it off with him I couldn't take it.

Awesome! So happy for you. Bye, Felipè!

Maybe you need to cut ties with your MM.

That's the plan.

This is exactly what I need. Where did you meet him at? I need to find someone who has the time and freedom to be with me. I am so happy you found this great guy and I wish you both the best!

On Tinder! Had to suffer through about 10 bad dates before I found a good one. Thank yoU!

thanks for the info, I will have to give it a try!

I suggest doing it this way....step 1 is match and message. Step 2 is phone number exchange and talk. Step 3 is the meet and greet- coffee or something easy to escape from. Step 4 is a real date...I was doing it wrong and endured a lot of uncomfortable dinners with people who had no shot in hell with me.

This is the exact way I've done it too! I tend to go have a peek every now and again, but eventually I give up. I am so happy for you that you found such a lovely man, but I can understand how difficult it is at the same time. I can totally relate as I'm kind of in the same position with a SG. He is lovely, but I can't get my wall down. Haven't contacted him in a while either but I know if I do, he will probably want to see me.

1 More Response

This sounds like a great start. And such a contrast to your MM, who failed to be there for you yesterday.

He apologized this morning. Said his kid's son's dad killed himself yesterday while the kid was at his house. Honestly, I just don't care that much right now. I'm giddy.

Sad. But you have had to deal with so much. And the least he could do is a 30s reachout. To shut you out altogether? I wouldn't be able to tolerate that for long.

Yea- it ****** me off. But I don't have the emotional investment in him right now to be that mad about it. I feel like I'm about to push him out of my heart and head completely. I'm sure it won't be that simple or easy, but SG is making it easier and providing a lovely distraction. Also, I believe things happen for a reason. And if MM came through yesterday, I would not have shared 6 amazing hours with this beautiful, available man.

Good luck to you!

I hope it's the beginning of a new life for you. To be truly loved, cherished, appreciated and respected. My best wishes to you.

Thank you!! Feeling great! And Strong! And Happy! And Alive!

I am so happy for you. You deserve to be happy, and this could definitely be what you need to move on. One thing though? Does he have a brother? 😁

Thanks sweet lavc. Haha now I can't remember. I was very close to giving up on online dating, honestly. So many rejects. I can't believe I found this one. And by sending him a stupid message about how sexy his body is. Haha.

Awesome. So happy for you. I often try to think I will just happen to meet someone and letting go will be much easier. We deserve to be a priority, maybe not number one everyday. Funny, most of the Mm are in a affair because their wives didn't make them a priority, but they think we will settle for the same.

I knew it wasn't just going to happen. I actively sought it out. Otherwise I will never be motivated to get out, because I'd be giving up the only thing I had going. And yes, good observation. There are some double standards at work.

You deserve to be someone's number one. You deserve to not be someone's little secret... And I think it is beautiful that you are discovering that. Happy for you:)

Thank you sweetheart. I never thought it was relevant what I deserved, because the reality of life is that we don't get what we deserve. We get what we get. But I am capable of finding an awesome guy who can be all mine.

We don't always get what we deserve... But we do get to decide how we will be loved simply by being kind enough to ourselves to choose someone who is capable of fully loving us back. I understand all situations are different... But having to keep secrets isn't healthy for anyone. Everyone deserves to be in a relationship they can openly talk about.

Good for you!!!!

You need not let mm screw this up for you. Sounds like you have the perfect distraction.

He doesn't really stand a chance. He won't be able to screw it up for me. I'm debating whether to tell him. or just dump him.

If it were me I'd tell him. After all he is married. Not to mention, there are so many hidden things in affairs. Why create more.

Time for something real.

Beyond time.

I am so very happy. And if for some reason this new sg doesnt work out, you will find someone who does. We all deserve to be #1 for someone.

Amen, blue, amen.