Forbidden Love With A Married Man

The original poem and my inspiration to alter and expand it to my situation was posted by CrazedTeenager on May 17th, 2008, a very talented insightful young lady.

Forbidden Love with a Married Man (Sorry for the format)

A forbidden love is what I have known,  A cut so deep that it cannot be sewn.

I see the deep sadness in your eyes,  The time is approaching to say our good byes.

I always knew it had to end this way,  Yet I let you dance into my heart like a classical ballet.

I should have kept my feelings hidden,  Since we both knew my love was forbidden.

If only I had destroyed this need,  Crushed and killed this loving seed.  

But I buried it deep and safe in my heart,  Knowing I was a fool, but acting so smart.  

So now everyday I cry,  Because I know I have to say good bye.

I try to let go of my emotions with every tear,  I find my feelings do not disappear.  

Because life can be so unfair,  I still hear your voice everywhere.  

Its deep masculine inflections,  In my mind is still perfection.  

It stirs my mind and ignites a fire,  My body trembles with remembered desire.  

The way you touched me when we made love,  Made me swear you were sent from heaven above.  

The passion always crackled in the air,  Two souls reaching out now left in despair.  

I live in fear and anticipation,  Of a time we are in the same location.  

I know I can never turn you away,  But how do I stop from begging you to stay.

There is something I got from all of this madness,  A life time worth of joy and sadness.  

All of these things have been put into motion,  All because of my selfish loving devotion.  

I did not know you would be the one,  To change me so completely when we were done.  

You never said you loved me, not a single time,  So I guess we could say the fault is all mine.  

Jealously haunts me and envy is there,  Maybe they will chip away at how much I care.  

Weekend are tolerable and holidays sad,  But vacations kill me, almost driving me mad.  

Intimate moments lying in bed,  Erotic fantasy, torment my head.  

Relaxing, reflecting and rejuvenating your life,  All tender loving moments shared with your wife.  

Who is this woman who holds my fate,  She is the one you choose first, I was to late.  

Men never leave, this much I know,  It is always the woman who decides to stay or go.  

I hate myself for these feelings I feel,  None of them were suppose to be part of the deal.  

I weigh the pain of staying or leaving,  Knowing it is myself I am deceiving.  

Two years have past and how many to go,  Before I succeed in shattering my soul.  

Is this relationship an illusion, made up in my mind,  Waiting for the conclusion, where despair is all I'll find.  

I know the day for "good bye" is there,  Yet I will not rush to end our affair.    

ShadesofGray65 ShadesofGray65
41-45, F
51 Responses Jan 1, 2010

Nothing is forbidden unless you allow it to be.

Beautiful and Sad at the same time. Describes me pretty well too, except I'm not a woman. I'm a married man. And I'm probably nuts for doing what I'm doing too. Do I respect myself?... Depends on how you look at it. I believe to be respecting myself better by chasing a lost love that wants me. The pain is enough to drive me to the funny farm, but those few hours every week keep sucking me in. I daydream a lot. I deceive myself a lot. I even have a fairy tale future all planned out with details. I cry when saying goodbye. I'm a crashed mess 1 or 2 days after, as if I was hungover or something. I'm a hopeless love sick romantic. Oh yeah, I'm Nucking Futs... Nuts about her. If what I'm doing is wrong, then I NEVER want to be right. Probably not right in the head anyway. Fook It! Let the F.U.B.A.R. warp me permanently. I like it! It hurts so good!

Add a response...

I'm 26 and have been with my married man for 16 months. What can I say like many bits on the side I can relate to this poem. It's so sad because it's true. Like all of you I feel I love him and feel he loves me. Holding on to the hope he will one day choose me. He treats me right we talk hours and hours a day I've never connected to anyone like him. Deep down I know one day I'll have to be strong enough to walk away or make him leave either way it won't end pretty. We all go into this thinking we can handle it but we only have ourselves to blame. Great poem loved it!!! Really rang true. :(

People talk a lot of **** about "mistresses" & ladies who are "The Other Woman" but in my case I fell head over heels in love with him before I even knew he was married. He was cheating on both of us. I guess i am still in the wrong because even when I found out (it turns out he actually married her when he took his weekend road trip to Vegas with "the boys" 2 months after we had got together) I still didn't let him go. & everyday I struggle with, is it hurting me more to stay then it would to leave? The thought of not having him in my life, never getting to see him, talk to him, make love to him again, makes me feel like I can't breathe. But every time his phone rings & he says, "Don't say anything." & I have to listen to him talk to his wife, or after we have sex no cuddling for me, he saves the cuddling & kissing only for her. It breaks my heart every single time. I wish I could just stop loving him...

I am involved with a married man, I have known him way before the wife came into the picture. I moved out of NYC and moved back and we reconnected a year ago, 25 years we have been on and off. He has been in love with me for 25 years, I walked out and left the state and moved across country after my divorce from my ex husband, you cannot wreck something that is already broken. It is funny how the wives want to blame the other women without any responsibility on the man and for that matter on herself.

So I really hope you are still together it is a very hard relationship and people who say you are a home wrecker have no clue

Not just excellent poem but expressed true emotions...i just met this man which i intent to scum his money but when i met him for the first time...he was kind and loving and married...and because he loved me he chose to leave me..and i missed him alot..

Regardless...this is a really good poem.

I'm a wife getting cheat on did youll ***** that don't know the different between married and not married did every think that he might be going home beating her *** and showing you how sweet he is the sad part the wife get the **** end of it and youll home wrecking b....... get the good part of him until the other women come in my married my husband was wonderful now all get is hell
if the girl friend saw him as being the S...... that he is she would tell him to get lost and another you'll home wreck B............ like the money and e.t.c. you put this peom on here you make me sick cause there some wife out there has work her *** off for him and this is the think he give is by cheating your poem make me sick

You shouldn't be so judgmental... Every situation is different. In my case he was already with her when we got together but I didn't know. So as far as I knew I had finally got everything I ever wanted & prayed for. They weren't actually married yet when we got together. No, he went & did that a few days after our 2 month anniversary. Told me he was going on a weekend road trip to Vegas w/ his "boys" but actually went & married her that weekend. So by the time I found out I was already so in love him. I'm not saying it's right or trying to make justifications for it, I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't judge so quickly & so harshly.

I'm sorry sweetie. Over a year ago.... so how did it turn out?

Only those who live this can understand it's depth. It's beautiful, and so deeply sad.

i knw the feeling and @ Tyltalis if a man is looking for another women it means he isnt satisfy at home.

Ick. Why do you women go for married men anyway? Do you take pleasure in tearing relationships apart?
Actually, I take that back. Men who would be willing to cheat on their own wives are well suited to scum like you.

They're not trying to take pleasure in tearing a relationship apart. They're only thinking about trying to build a better one and make the man happy. If another woman can do a better job, then let her.... sure does save the wife a lot of trouble on something she can't hang with anymore.

well i have been with a married man now for six yrs we have a lil girl together that is two yrs old. i ask myself everyday why cant i stop loving him. i know he loves me n his daughter but he will never leave his wife. it hurts me everyday but this is the life i choose.

Omg this poem puts so much insight on the emotions and experiences of being the other woman... brought tears to my eyes


I am 26 years old, I have a 4 year old son with my long term partner of 11years. I have never cheated on partner, he was my first love. He cheated on me a few times with some of my EX FRIENDS... but i always forgave him, cos deep down i believed that he did truly love me. but after since we had our son, my lover started cheated on me, He goes to work and come back late, at times he come in for his tea then straight out till the next day, on a weekend i don't see him at all, we don't talk, we don't do anything together, i began to feel weak and down, I tried talking to him telling him that i m not happy with the way he treats me, but he just goes off on one and threatens to smash things up. after a week, he came back one morning and said he is tired of me and that i should live his house, i begged but nothing was happening, after i left the house, 3 days later, I started seen someone with my man and when i tried to asked the lady, the lady told me that she and my lover has been dating for five months. I just don't no what to do, i do love my partner, so i have to find a way to get him back because i just don't want to lose him for any person, luckily for me i came across a spell caster prophetharry@ymail. com on the internet and he said he will help me after hearing my story and 3 days of his was being casted my lover returned home and reconcile with me, now we are living like a happy couple, praise be to prophetharry for making this good thing happen

So hard reading this. I met this amazing man who has brought so much love, respect and pain into my life. The fear I have daily that he could end it scares me. In my heart I know this will end in heartache. I am hoping for a miracle. We love eachother and yet we have not had sex. We connect on a level I never knew was possible. He gets me. Time will tell. For now, I will just continue to love him.

Wait until he leaves her and proves he means what he says because if he won't leave her for himself and his own happiness, he won't leave her for you.

I just confirmed my suspisions that my boyfriend of 18 months has been in a relationship with another women. The other women is what he referred to me as an ex girlfriend, so I believed him. I started to suspect things were not as they appeared a few months ago. I questioned him and he said I had to much free time and was basically reading more into it. I found out that they live together in Pennsylvania, he has a house in virginia too. I have met his kids friends he works with and no one said a word about him being in a relationship. I am not a person who would have chosen to be with an involved man. I feel terible about this I am anger at myself anger at him. I want to call her and tell her all about our relationship. There is a part of me that thinks she should know they have been together for eight years and I am not the first affair he's had. Any suggestions

Any new relationship that starts on lies is never a relationship at all. Sorry, but you're just a side dish of convenient meat.

So beautiful. This brought a tear from me. I am in the same spot! You write lovely.

I had an affair for a year and still 6months from trying to move on he is the first thing i think of in the morning and the last thing at night. I try so very hard to let go but i cant. I knew back then he loved me soo much he told me all the time, but i would always be second best to his wife. Eventually the jealousy over came me and i turnt crazy from it. I pray for his lips just too touch mine one last time. I cant seem to let go and i want too so desperately

So many touching lines here...We had no plans to leave our spouses...we hoped our relationship would end when we just got sick of each other, which seemed like it would be no time soon. But his wife found out just 9 days ago. I too have been reading old emails, listening to "our" songs and just crying crying crying. I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet and I just miss him so much. And I wonder if he's even still thinking of me...

I totally understand how you are feeling right now dear. I am unable to concentrate on work because I am behaving like one obsessed person who constantly checks my email (which has chat in it) to see if he is online... When I see him online I wonder if he is thinking of me, maybe send me a message just to let me know how much he misses me or is thinking of me... day after day, nothing... So here I am, on the same boat as you, trying to come to terms with the loss of a love that is forbidden to begin with.

This poem is amazing... I can truly relate to it being the other woman as well. In our case we both know and have said that we love each other. But our affair had to come to an end. We both are in despair and I know he is hurting just as I am. I sit awake at night, reading past emails and text messages from him, crying, missing him, and wanting him back... Sigh... I don't know how long it will take me to get over him.

wow , been there still doing it almost 3 years later

So how have you handled it for 3 years? How do you deal with the change of plans because of his wife or whatever?

I too am in this situation just not as long. I've been with the married man for 6 months. We both agree we want this forever . It's so hard because we love each other. I am so sad because I know we need to say goodbye. My heart aches when I think about this and that it is me who is saying goodbye. I truly do not want this but I want more. I love him very much and will miss him more than anyone can imagine. This poem was wonderful and could be about any if us involved with a married man.

Me too sister. I have been w/ a married man for almost two years. It pains me everytime I tried to end up our relationship. We love each other so much and being w/ each other are very worth it, But I know this is the right thing to do, I hope we can both set ourselves free, not easy but 'will try....

love this poem feels like ur writin about me

I do feel for all those who have been hurt. But in a way find it a blessing. If you were the one who was the other person or the actual person who was cheated on. This can be a test as well. It can show how strong you truely are. I know I am married and love my husband with all my heart. However, a long time friend I have been intimate with prior to my current marriage has recently come back into my life, and yes he is also married. <br />
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We recently have spoken and meet twice. Both times we start to talk, and before we know it we are hugging each other and the kissing and so forth happen. The other day he came to see me because I was having an issue with something. He came to just consol me because I was not in a good place at the time. We are close friends in every sense of the words. Even if this were to stop tomorrow I will never ever regret having my affair with him. Even as some have said use your brain and not spread your legs, if you think about it, you don"t really need to spread your legs. It is your heart craving the attention and it feels good. This is what each of us is feeling. Again, like I said it is an experiance you should either not regret or just forget it completly.

i am in the same epic flim.. His married but no kids. Im married and have a kid. i care for my husband but the other guy i still want to see but i know i could never keep him. I think about him at work or when im hard to forget im trying..still am

i had a relationship with a married man for 2 years and even thought we both knew how wrong it was,it felt right for us.we loved eachother and because of it were not together anymore.he felt he was holding me back from happiness,because his religion wouldnt allow us to be together.he felt stuck in his marriage and since i was his confidant he always knew he could talk to me about and he would come to my house sometimes frustrated becaus he was being treated like a child,she yelled at him if things werent to her standards.we used to just sit and talk,for us it wasnt everything about sex,just being together made us happy.he said to me he wished he met me when he was single,he used to tell me how different things would be,that he would spend more time with me.he used to say that everytime we kissed was like our first kiss,that everytime we made love it was like our first time together.we were like girlfriend/ boyfriend except he was married.we used to hold hands,kiss,flirt,and we always had butterflies when we knew we were gonna be together.i loved him,i gave him advice to try and better his marriage,used to hurt me but knowing we couldnt be together i wanted him to be happy.he felt he was holding me back from finding someone worthy of me,who could give me what he couldnt,on the other hand i felt he was giving me all i needed.we used to talk on how we would grow old together,how we would only remember eachother once age took our memories.we used to reenact the first time we met every anniversary,say every word,wear same clothes we did that day, i know it was silly but it made us happy.when we stopped seing eachother,i felt so empty and still to this day i feel we were soul mates or like he said we loved eachother in the past and i finally found you again.i still think about him when i need to smile,sometimes i regret agreeing to end our relationship,but i didnt want to be his other woman forever,i do want to have a man who i can call my husband and he can call me his wife.i wonder if he still loves me,if he kept his promise of never forgetting our times together,i wonder if he ever passes by wanting to knock on my door or goes to my job wanting to see me,i stay away i loved him and still love him enough to set him free and let him be happy even if it made my life misserable.i never shared this with anyone,everyone thought he was my boyfriend,i just needed to vent and let it all out before it drove me crazy. if i could i would tell him how much i love him and regret not being with him,i also regret not telling him i loved him when i had the chance.anyway this is my forbidden love story,one im trying to move on from so i can try and be happy with a man thats single.

I was the " The Other Woman ". Until a couple of months ago. I was his Mistress for 31 years! Yes 31 years. It is a truly long story. In a nutshell, we were living together, as expatriates, in the Caribbean. We were both getting divorced, and we even travelled to North America so he could sign as a responsible party in my ( amicable) divorce. We were supposed to get married. Then, one night, he met a multi millionare from the USA, at a business event, extremely well known, famous family etc etc.<br />
You can guess it... he couldn't wait to get me out of the house. I was devastated. This is a complicated story. I remarried, for the second time, on the rebound, trying to heal my broken heart. That marriage failed. No children has ever been involved.<br />
We have both lived in different countries, all this while. But, even when he was " engaged" he sought me out .. He always wanted to be with me, and I suspected, his famous wife was not interested in being intimate with him. She was all about speeches, Galas, philantrophy etc.. One day, he blurted out " she is like cold fish in bed ". He has regretted saying that to me, ever since.<br />
I think he stayed with her because he genuinely likes her, they have many businesses together. She is, it seems, a nice person.They did not have children together, though they did in their previous marriages.<br />
I realise I may appear to be rambling .. but 31 years is a long time. <br />
I don't think she has ever known about me. It seems to me that fabulously wealthy women don't realise women like myself exist. She was always so busy with social events etc .. I really do not understand.. We have met in different countries all this while, mainly the USA . We used to get together sometimes every 5 weeks. <br />
Anyway, it has now ended. I never wanted to be his wife. I knew he was incapable of being faithful. I knew it would end eventually. But, in the end, he had chosen to become silent . It is the way he has ended it that angers me.<br />
The problem I am having is that I keep having this intense feeling that I want to shame and embarass him, indirectly. I want to, and I do not want to. I want to hurt him, yet I don't want to.. And other people may be hurt too. On his side. I feel torn.<br />
I am afraid that one day, I will press that button, post some pics etc on YouTube, and there will be no turning back, and I will not be able to undo any harm.<br />
I am so afraid of this intense feeling to get revenge.<br />
If this all seems disjointed, it is because I am feeling so devasted right now.<br />
I loved this man for 31 years. How do you explain " Love "?

Life is too short to suffer for something like that.<br />
You may think you enjoy the suffering but trust me, happiness is better<br />
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I have being there and done that.<br />
It is not worth it.<br />
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Married guys can be all romantic because there is no string attached from the start. <br />
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It is a imaginary love and it can be strong because there is not reality to tarnish it.<br />
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Practical advice,<br />
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Leave that person. <br />
Stop going to the place where you can run into him. Take a trip to a far away place. Take a job in another country. Distance and time.<br />
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If you truly love the person, and the person is happy without you. Give yourself a chance to be happy, so distance yourself.<br />
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It will pass. It is best for everyone. <br />
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Do not torture yourself until one day you realized you have wasted all the romantic energy for nothing. Save that for the right relationship or save that energy to do something else in the world.

Thanks for a beautifule poem. I recently found myself fallin for a married man with a kid. We both have told each other about our spouses and how we r not happy. However do to our culture neither one of us can leave. I stay up all night thinking about what to do and we text at night asking for advise. My heart breaks when I think of his daughter and how much this may effect her an then I try to walk away but the connection we have drags me back. We have not had sex or been intimate our relationship is ba<x>sed on friendship, honesty and dare I say it love. What do I do? I just want to be with him, hug him, kiss him and spend time with him. Help

Beautiful poem!


I hope you all die of jealous and don't know these men. All you know are the lies that they tell you. No relationship with a foundation of lies and deceit will ever flourish. Next time, open your eyes and ears instead of your legs and figure it out.

Wow, do u feel better now? Why don't we all give a round of applause to "hipchx", who apparently is perfect & has never been lied to by a man or had feelings she wished she didn't feel. Cuz to everyone of you who has written your story, it's all about "opening our legs" for us right? With us terrible ****** around thank God there is a perfect person like "hipchx" to set us straight.

Thank you for sharing this poem..i love poetry as well and have written hundreds of poems but this time, is so bothered with the situation that i am in that i cannot find the right words to express what i really feel..thank you for penning my heart away. I am single, a college graduate and is taking up my master's degree. i've been in-love so many times before but failed and since then i have had so many fears of loving. but those fears can't just stop my heart from loving. i admire this one guy i met two months ago while i was staying at my brother's place...but the thing is, he's married with a loving woman and he has two lovely sons. We see in church as we belong to the same denomination. I just admire him, that's all. till the third sunday, i was puzzled when he get my number. i notice some distant glances from him for me, and heavy sighs. When I returned to my own city, we casually text each other but that was all until one day he tells me he likes me so much, he's fighting to get me out of his mind. The hard part is that i like him so much too though he's married. He told me he's ready to give away everything he has, including his family and children for me.. that was so tempting but i don't want to be a home wrecker and it's somewhat s disappointment from my family for someone like me to marry a divorced man, or whatever. it is a very difficult dilemma for me as everyday, my love for him grows deeper and that i feel that he loves me so dearly and is willing to do everything for me. What should i do?

i hate this situation i am in now...

Wow! Must I say, I can relate so much to this poem. My situation is a little bit different though. He loves me dearly and the problem is his family will despise if he leaves her. He has a different cultural background, if he were to leave her she would have noone. Everyday I think of how much I wish I were the one and only woman in his life, yet I feel selfish. If there's one thing I've learned from all of this is life is short and you should spend it with the people you love, though it maybe wrong but your happiness lies with you whenyour dead and he's changed my life for the better. I'm glad Ive met him whether I'm his or not, forever he stays in my heart and as the man of my dreams

I have a child with the married man, and his wife cant have kids. the married man is my boyfriends cousin and i adore him .we have been talking for a whole year his daughter is 3 months and i would love for us to be a family.sometimes he says to wait for him other times he tells me to be happy with my boyfriend who wants to get engaged but im scared of the commitment because i love the married man i feel like it will never end i have kids with both men and im olny 21 years old and dont know where my life is going ?????(HELP ME GOD)

I was involved with a man who, I found out later, is married. He told me of his other relationship and referred to 'her' as 'not yet a girlfriend' and that 'they're sort of dating'. He was the one who broke it off, sadly, without a word, so I pressed for closure but he still did not reveal anything. We parted, I googled him up. His recent picture was taken with his own baby and I even found out the name of his wife. Sad. I feel disillusioned now but I just can't believe how could he do it by lying to me, and probably by keeping me a secret from the rest of his world.

I can relate to this except for the "intimacy" thing. But it's been a year now and I haven't moved on :(

I thought I'd add this song by R&B singer Cherelle who was, herself, involved in a heavy affair with a married man. Her thoughts mirror mines right about now. The song is called "Crazy" it's a little dated but her emotions will ring true in every fiber in an OW's being.

i love it, its almost my story, i waited 6 years for this one guy to notice me and the marriage is rocky , we both always wanted to get together but never happened and boom one night it did and we talk alot bout his home. I have had very strong feelings for years he does too i believe we get to see each other 4 of the 7 days its getting harder to let him leave and harder for him to leave, i may be stupid and mistaken but i believe in due time we can and will be together ' 5 minutes of hugs is woth more then nothing at all, more then what i did have with him, however i have gave it no longer then October if not i will make a decision on to stay or go either way im sure it is going to be hard but eventually the marriage will not last.

It is very heartbreaking to love someone who is not yours. I had an affair with a married man for almost three years and I ended it because I couldn't take the fact that he was married to another women and they shared a family together... There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about him, and somedays where I wonder if I should of just stayed with him. He wanted me to wait and kept telling me he would leave her but I couldn't wait any longer. I often question myself..... Did I do the right thing?

There are three parties that partake in this situation: the wife, the husband, and the 'other person'. I'm not quite sure which person has it worse. Maybe it's the wife who doesn't even know the situation is going on but is wondering why her husband seems so different. Maybe it is the husband who has to choose between two women that he loves. Or perhaps it's the 'other person' having to deal with jealously, wondering thoughts of whether or not the husband and wife are at home having sex, waiting for the husband to call or text them to go do something(like a secret night out), having to be pushed to the side, and having their heart pulled out of their chest because the husband seems to be playing the game. <br />
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These type of things happen all the time, all over the place. It's quite sad, actually.

Your poem brings tears to my face as I know what you are going through. It is so hard to love someone so much not knowing each day if it is the last. I will never let go of my hope even though it is the hardest life ever, but not to see or hear or feel him ever again I cant imagine that. Take care!

I still see this man and we speak often, he "says" he is trying to figure out his life. Recently his RW had some medical issues, so he now has his excuse to stay.<br />
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MM fear two things, being the bad guy and being alone. So they find a way to avoid both.<br />
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I suppose it will be up to me to end - something that is "not good" for me.<br />
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In real life terms, this is the worse kind of relationship for a woman. It strips her of so many things and gives nothing back, only takes.

Great poem. It has been almost 9 months since this posting, can you tell us how you are doing now? I know it is a personal question, so I understand if you do not respond.

Wow a man's point of view,,,thats different

1Law.. There are so many different characters of people we meet here in EP.. Some are nice..some are down to earth...some are bitchy ...some are cruel/mean...some are really here because they have hatred inside them and need to vent on innocent people who just want to be listened to. <br />
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Take no notice. Maybe delete whatever that you dont' want to appear on your write ups.<br />
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As for the poem.. Such is life for being the other woman. 98% out of 100 will never end up with the man they are with.. Cherish what is left now.. When the right time will know when to leave. Keep in touch. Hugs

You're welcome. Really liked the enclosed poem too. I can feel how much emotion the author put into it. Re: leaving. You will. When you're ready to let go of him emotionally & physically. The time will come. You'll see. It's hard, but it'll happen. I like your pic there. It seems to be how "the other woman" is pictured worldwide: sexy, blonde, dangerous and mysterious.

Thanks for your comment. I am trying to be real with myself, so I can break it off. I know I will have to, but I just cannot seem to bring myself too.

Sometimes men do leave. My ex-husband left me for a "fellow classmate" he met up with at a high school reunion-at someone else's high school! <br />
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As for being the other woman, I can relate to your pain. I realized that he'd never leave because he's got too much financially at stake. <br />
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So "unhappily ever after" it is for him. We still talk, occasionally meet up but I know not to get emotionally involved again.