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Forbidden Love With A Married Man

The original poem and my inspiration to alter and expand it to my situation was posted by CrazedTeenager on May 17th, 2008, a very talented insightful young lady.

Forbidden Love with a Married Man (Sorry for the format)

A forbidden love is what I have known,  A cut so deep that it cannot be sewn.

I see the deep sadness in your eyes,  The time is approaching to say our good byes.

I always knew it had to end this way,  Yet I let you dance into my heart like a classical ballet.

I should have kept my feelings hidden,  Since we both knew my love was forbidden.

If only I had destroyed this need,  Crushed and killed this loving seed.  

But I buried it deep and safe in my heart,  Knowing I was a fool, but acting so smart.  

So now everyday I cry,  Because I know I have to say good bye.

I try to let go of my emotions with every tear,  I find my feelings do not disappear.  

Because life can be so unfair,  I still hear your voice everywhere.  

Its deep masculine inflections,  In my mind is still perfection.  

It stirs my mind and ignites a fire,  My body trembles with remembered desire.  

The way you touched me when we made love,  Made me swear you were sent from heaven above.  

The passion always crackled in the air,  Two souls reaching out now left in despair.  

I live in fear and anticipation,  Of a time we are in the same location.  

I know I can never turn you away,  But how do I stop from begging you to stay.

There is something I got from all of this madness,  A life time worth of joy and sadness.  

All of these things have been put into motion,  All because of my selfish loving devotion.  

I did not know you would be the one,  To change me so completely when we were done.  

You never said you loved me, not a single time,  So I guess we could say the fault is all mine.  

Jealously haunts me and envy is there,  Maybe they will chip away at how much I care.  

Weekend are tolerable and holidays sad,  But vacations kill me, almost driving me mad.  

Intimate moments lying in bed,  Erotic fantasy, torment my head.  

Relaxing, reflecting and rejuvenating your life,  All tender loving moments shared with your wife.  

Who is this woman who holds my fate,  She is the one you choose first, I was to late.  

Men never leave, this much I know,  It is always the woman who decides to stay or go.  

I hate myself for these feelings I feel,  None of them were suppose to be part of the deal.  

I weigh the pain of staying or leaving,  Knowing it is myself I am deceiving.  

Two years have past and how many to go,  Before I succeed in shattering my soul.  

Is this relationship an illusion, made up in my mind,  Waiting for the conclusion, where despair is all I'll find.  

I know the day for "good bye" is there,  Yet I will not rush to end our affair.    

ShadesofGray65 ShadesofGray65 41-45, F 49 Responses Jan 1, 2010

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People talk a lot of **** about "mistresses" & ladies who are "The Other Woman" but in my case I fell head over heels in love with him before I even knew he was married. He was cheating on both of us. I guess i am still in the wrong because even when I found out (it turns out he actually married her when he took his weekend road trip to Vegas with "the boys" 2 months after we had got together) I still didn't let him go. & everyday I struggle with, is it hurting me more to stay then it would to leave? The thought of not having him in my life, never getting to see him, talk to him, make love to him again, makes me feel like I can't breathe. But every time his phone rings & he says, "Don't say anything." & I have to listen to him talk to his wife, or after we have sex no cuddling for me, he saves the cuddling & kissing only for her. It breaks my heart every single time. I wish I could just stop loving him...

I am involved with a married man, I have known him way before the wife came into the picture. I moved out of NYC and moved back and we reconnected a year ago, 25 years we have been on and off. He has been in love with me for 25 years, I walked out and left the state and moved across country after my divorce from my ex husband, you cannot wreck something that is already broken. It is funny how the wives want to blame the other women without any responsibility on the man and for that matter on herself.

So I really hope you are still together it is a very hard relationship and people who say you are a home wrecker have no clue

Not just excellent poem but expressed true emotions...i just met this man which i intent to scum his money but when i met him for the first time...he was kind and loving and married...and because he loved me he chose to leave me..and i missed him alot..

Regardless...this is a really good poem.

I'm a wife getting cheat on did youll ***** that don't know the different between married and not married did every think that he might be going home beating her *** and showing you how sweet he is the sad part the wife get the **** end of it and youll home wrecking b....... get the good part of him until the other women come in my married my husband was wonderful now all get is hell
if the girl friend saw him as being the S...... that he is she would tell him to get lost and another you'll home wreck B............ like the money and e.t.c. you put this peom on here you make me sick cause there some wife out there has work her *** off for him and this is the think he give is by cheating your poem make me sick

You shouldn't be so judgmental... Every situation is different. In my case he was already with her when we got together but I didn't know. So as far as I knew I had finally got everything I ever wanted & prayed for. They weren't actually married yet when we got together. No, he went & did that a few days after our 2 month anniversary. Told me he was going on a weekend road trip to Vegas w/ his "boys" but actually went & married her that weekend. So by the time I found out I was already so in love him. I'm not saying it's right or trying to make justifications for it, I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't judge so quickly & so harshly.

Only those who live this can understand it's depth. It's beautiful, and so deeply sad.

i knw the feeling and @ Tyltalis if a man is looking for another women it means he isnt satisfy at home.

Ick. Why do you women go for married men anyway? Do you take pleasure in tearing relationships apart?
...
Actually, I take that back. Men who would be willing to cheat on their own wives are well suited to scum like you.

well i have been with a married man now for six yrs we have a lil girl together that is two yrs old. i ask myself everyday why cant i stop loving him. i know he loves me n his daughter but he will never leave his wife. it hurts me everyday but this is the life i choose.

Omg this poem puts so much insight on the emotions and experiences of being the other woman... brought tears to my eyes

Perfect.

I am 26 years old, I have a 4 year old son with my long term partner of 11years. I have never cheated on partner, he was my first love. He cheated on me a few times with some of my EX FRIENDS... but i always forgave him, cos deep down i believed that he did truly love me. but after since we had our son, my lover started cheated on me, He goes to work and come back late, at times he come in for his tea then straight out till the next day, on a weekend i don't see him at all, we don't talk, we don't do anything together, i began to feel weak and down, I tried talking to him telling him that i m not happy with the way he treats me, but he just goes off on one and threatens to smash things up. after a week, he came back one morning and said he is tired of me and that i should live his house, i begged but nothing was happening, after i left the house, 3 days later, I started seen someone with my man and when i tried to asked the lady, the lady told me that she and my lover has been dating for five months. I just don't no what to do, i do love my partner, so i have to find a way to get him back because i just don't want to lose him for any person, luckily for me i came across a spell caster prophetharry@ymail. com on the internet and he said he will help me after hearing my story and 3 days of his was being casted my lover returned home and reconcile with me, now we are living like a happy couple, praise be to prophetharry for making this good thing happen
SABAH IBRAHIM

So hard reading this. I met this amazing man who has brought so much love, respect and pain into my life. The fear I have daily that he could end it scares me. In my heart I know this will end in heartache. I am hoping for a miracle. We love eachother and yet we have not had sex. We connect on a level I never knew was possible. He gets me. Time will tell. For now, I will just continue to love him.

Wait until he leaves her and proves he means what he says because if he won't leave her for himself and his own happiness, he won't leave her for you.

I just confirmed my suspisions that my boyfriend of 18 months has been in a relationship with another women. The other women is what he referred to me as an ex girlfriend, so I believed him. I started to suspect things were not as they appeared a few months ago. I questioned him and he said I had to much free time and was basically reading more into it. I found out that they live together in Pennsylvania, he has a house in virginia too. I have met his kids friends he works with and no one said a word about him being in a relationship. I am not a person who would have chosen to be with an involved man. I feel terible about this I am anger at myself anger at him. I want to call her and tell her all about our relationship. There is a part of me that thinks she should know they have been together for eight years and I am not the first affair he's had. Any suggestions

So beautiful. This brought a tear from me. I am in the same spot! You write lovely.

I had an affair for a year and still 6months from trying to move on he is the first thing i think of in the morning and the last thing at night. I try so very hard to let go but i cant. I knew back then he loved me soo much he told me all the time, but i would always be second best to his wife. Eventually the jealousy over came me and i turnt crazy from it. I pray for his lips just too touch mine one last time. I cant seem to let go and i want too so desperately

So many touching lines here...We had no plans to leave our spouses...we hoped our relationship would end when we just got sick of each other, which seemed like it would be no time soon. But his wife found out just 9 days ago. I too have been reading old emails, listening to "our" songs and just crying crying crying. I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet and I just miss him so much. And I wonder if he's even still thinking of me...

I totally understand how you are feeling right now dear. I am unable to concentrate on work because I am behaving like one obsessed person who constantly checks my email (which has chat in it) to see if he is online... When I see him online I wonder if he is thinking of me, maybe send me a message just to let me know how much he misses me or is thinking of me... day after day, nothing... So here I am, on the same boat as you, trying to come to terms with the loss of a love that is forbidden to begin with.

This poem is amazing... I can truly relate to it being the other woman as well. In our case we both know and have said that we love each other. But our affair had to come to an end. We both are in despair and I know he is hurting just as I am. I sit awake at night, reading past emails and text messages from him, crying, missing him, and wanting him back... Sigh... I don't know how long it will take me to get over him.

wow , been there still doing it almost 3 years later

So how have you handled it for 3 years? How do you deal with the change of plans because of his wife or whatever?

I too am in this situation just not as long. I've been with the married man for 6 months. We both agree we want this forever . It's so hard because we love each other. I am so sad because I know we need to say goodbye. My heart aches when I think about this and that it is me who is saying goodbye. I truly do not want this but I want more. I love him very much and will miss him more than anyone can imagine. This poem was wonderful and could be about any if us that.is involved with a married man.

Me too sister. I have been w/ a married man for almost two years. It pains me everytime I tried to end up our relationship. We love each other so much and being w/ each other are very worth it, But I know this is the right thing to do, I hope we can both set ourselves free, not easy but 'will try....

love this poem feels like ur writin about me

I do feel for all those who have been hurt. But in a way find it a blessing. If you were the one who was the other person or the actual person who was cheated on. This can be a test as well. It can show how strong you truely are. I know I am married and love my husband with all my heart. However, a long time friend I have been intimate with prior to my current marriage has recently come back into my life, and yes he is also married. <br />
<br />
We recently have spoken and meet twice. Both times we start to talk, and before we know it we are hugging each other and the kissing and so forth happen. The other day he came to see me because I was having an issue with something. He came to just consol me because I was not in a good place at the time. We are close friends in every sense of the words. Even if this were to stop tomorrow I will never ever regret having my affair with him. Even as some have said use your brain and not spread your legs, if you think about it, you don"t really need to spread your legs. It is your heart craving the attention and it feels good. This is what each of us is feeling. Again, like I said it is an experiance you should either not regret or just forget it completly.

i am in the same epic flim.. His married but no kids. Im married and have a kid. i care for my husband but the other guy i still want to see but i know i could never keep him. I think about him at work or when im cooking..it hard to forget im trying..still am

i had a relationship with a married man for 2 years and even thought we both knew how wrong it was,it felt right for us.we loved eachother and because of it were not together anymore.he felt he was holding me back from happiness,because his religion wouldnt allow us to be together.he felt stuck in his marriage and since i was his confidant he always knew he could talk to me about and he would come to my house sometimes frustrated becaus he was being treated like a child,she yelled at him if things werent to her standards.we used to just sit and talk,for us it wasnt everything about sex,just being together made us happy.he said to me he wished he met me when he was single,he used to tell me how different things would be,that he would spend more time with me.he used to say that everytime we kissed was like our first kiss,that everytime we made love it was like our first time together.we were like girlfriend/ boyfriend except he was married.we used to hold hands,kiss,flirt,and we always had butterflies when we knew we were gonna be together.i loved him,i gave him advice to try and better his marriage,used to hurt me but knowing we couldnt be together i wanted him to be happy.he felt he was holding me back from finding someone worthy of me,who could give me what he couldnt,on the other hand i felt he was giving me all i needed.we used to talk on how we would grow old together,how we would only remember eachother once age took our memories.we used to reenact the first time we met every anniversary,say every word,wear same clothes we did that day, i know it was silly but it made us happy.when we stopped seing eachother,i felt so empty and still to this day i feel we were soul mates or like he said we loved eachother in the past and i finally found you again.i still think about him when i need to smile,sometimes i regret agreeing to end our relationship,but i didnt want to be his other woman forever,i do want to have a man who i can call my husband and he can call me his wife.i wonder if he still loves me,if he kept his promise of never forgetting our times together,i wonder if he ever passes by wanting to knock on my door or goes to my job wanting to see me,i stay away i loved him and still love him enough to set him free and let him be happy even if it made my life misserable.i never shared this with anyone,everyone thought he was my boyfriend,i just needed to vent and let it all out before it drove me crazy. if i could i would tell him how much i love him and regret not being with him,i also regret not telling him i loved him when i had the chance.anyway this is my forbidden love story,one im trying to move on from so i can try and be happy with a man thats single.

I was the " The Other Woman ". Until a couple of months ago. I was his Mistress for 31 years! Yes 31 years. It is a truly long story. In a nutshell, we were living together, as expatriates, in the Caribbean. We were both getting divorced, and we even travelled to North America so he could sign as a responsible party in my ( amicable) divorce. We were supposed to get married. Then, one night, he met a multi millionare from the USA, at a business event, extremely well known, famous family etc etc.<br />
You can guess it... he couldn't wait to get me out of the house. I was devastated. This is a complicated story. I remarried, for the second time, on the rebound, trying to heal my broken heart. That marriage failed. No children has ever been involved.<br />
We have both lived in different countries, all this while. But, even when he was " engaged" he sought me out .. He always wanted to be with me, and I suspected, his famous wife was not interested in being intimate with him. She was all about speeches, Galas, philantrophy etc.. One day, he blurted out " she is like cold fish in bed ". He has regretted saying that to me, ever since.<br />
I think he stayed with her because he genuinely likes her, they have many businesses together. She is, it seems, a nice person.They did not have children together, though they did in their previous marriages.<br />
I realise I may appear to be rambling .. but 31 years is a long time. <br />
I don't think she has ever known about me. It seems to me that fabulously wealthy women don't realise women like myself exist. She was always so busy with social events etc .. I really do not understand.. We have met in different countries all this while, mainly the USA . We used to get together sometimes every 5 weeks. <br />
Anyway, it has now ended. I never wanted to be his wife. I knew he was incapable of being faithful. I knew it would end eventually. But, in the end, he had chosen to become silent . It is the way he has ended it that angers me.<br />
The problem I am having is that I keep having this intense feeling that I want to shame and embarass him, indirectly. I want to, and I do not want to. I want to hurt him, yet I don't want to.. And other people may be hurt too. On his side. I feel torn.<br />
I am afraid that one day, I will press that button, post some pics etc on YouTube, and there will be no turning back, and I will not be able to undo any harm.<br />
I am so afraid of this intense feeling to get revenge.<br />
If this all seems disjointed, it is because I am feeling so devasted right now.<br />
I loved this man for 31 years. How do you explain " Love "?

Life is too short to suffer for something like that.<br />
You may think you enjoy the suffering but trust me, happiness is better<br />
<br />
I have being there and done that.<br />
It is not worth it.<br />
<br />
Married guys can be all romantic because there is no string attached from the start. <br />
<br />
It is a imaginary love and it can be strong because there is not reality to tarnish it.<br />
<br />
Practical advice,<br />
<br />
Leave that person. <br />
Stop going to the place where you can run into him. Take a trip to a far away place. Take a job in another country. Distance and time.<br />
<br />
If you truly love the person, and the person is happy without you. Give yourself a chance to be happy, so distance yourself.<br />
<br />
It will pass. It is best for everyone. <br />
<br />
Do not torture yourself until one day you realized you have wasted all the romantic energy for nothing. Save that for the right relationship or save that energy to do something else in the world.

Thanks for a beautifule poem. I recently found myself fallin for a married man with a kid. We both have told each other about our spouses and how we r not happy. However do to our culture neither one of us can leave. I stay up all night thinking about what to do and we text at night asking for advise. My heart breaks when I think of his daughter and how much this may effect her an then I try to walk away but the connection we have drags me back. We have not had sex or been intimate our relationship is ba<x>sed on friendship, honesty and dare I say it love. What do I do? I just want to be with him, hug him, kiss him and spend time with him. Help

Beautiful poem!

Beautiful!