My Story

i started a new job back in december of 2008. two months later i'm having an affair with a coworker who is also a married man.it started out exciting and fun because it was an affair. i guess because it was so much fun because it was taboo. then it progressed very fast. he started saying thigs like "if i leave my wife will you marry me?" i would just laugh it off and tell him not to say those things. see in the beginning i was the one who wanted to keep it a big secret from other people. it was about two or three months into it we discovered that we had both fell in love with each other. it was a big oops.during the summer his wife noticed changes in him. she would ask him if there was somebody else getting all his attention.soon after that they started fighting alot.

i tried ending it several times. i tried letters and sitting down and ending it with him in a calmy manner. he wouldn't hear of it. i loved him so deeply but knew i had to end it eventually. my friends and family kept telling me to get rid of this guy. see he has never been faithful to his wife during their almost 8 year marriage. i was the last. he messed around and fell in love is what we always say.in october or november he told his wife he had an affair during the summer. he moved out of his house for two weeks.moved back in with her. later he told her more about the affair. i ended up talking to her on the phone and telling her everything. i thought she deserved to know the truth. later he told her he has never been faithful to her. now he is saying he's moving out and he has signed a lease somewhere. he is still at home.

what i'm having a problem with is that it has been over a year i have been dealing with this. i know i want to be with him but i get a strong feeling he doesn't. he's reassuring one day and undecided the next. i feel like i'm going completely crazy. i don't know what to do at this point. i don't know if i should ease up and let him figure things out or if i should really end it and try to get over him and move on. i feel so alone in this because i'm the other woman and everybody looks down on me.

joy9 joy9
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 12, 2010

Ive been the other man...... to a friends girlfriend. Like u said it was exciting keeping it a secret then sneaking off at a party or event to make out and even going out on dates when he wasnt around or busy. But what started as secret hook ups ended up evolving to a romance. After a while she started saying things like she wished she met me first because she couldnt bare the thought of her breaking up with my friend then being with me, no matter how much time had passed, neither could i. Well it came to almost a complete end when her boyfriend/my friend became suspicious. I had gone over to her house one day to watch a movie but it wound up being a make out session, just short of sex. For whatever reason, maybe guilt, we stopped after some fun. She walked me to her door and pulled it open, i leaned in and gave her a good-good night kiss. As we turn around there is my friend standing on the porch, a scene straight out of a soap opera. Things were hectic for a long time. Of course she told her best friend who told another friend and so on. By then it was like the whole city new, including just about every single one of my friends. So i know how it is to be looked down upon. i even have one friend who wont let his girlfriend be alone with me for any reason, even if we're sitting on the couch she obeys his carefully gazing eye and she'll get up and leave with him or someone else and not come back until everyone else is back in the same room. sad huh? (she must have made a comment about me to provoke his jealousy) Well anyhoo me and my friend's now ex-girlfriend have broke things off in that regard and are now just regular friends although it took a long time to do so. My advice to you is to just let it go. if he already has the habit of being unfaithful, it usually doesnt require much for him to do it again. sometimes the temptation is too much. Try to get over him, it wont be easy and it will take a long time but its worth it. If we hadnt ended our relationship we would probably be together still and be looked down upon by all of our friends. Be smart, think with your brain and not your heart!