The 40 Year Story Of Being A Ghost In This World

ok,get comfortable,here it goes.. i was born on a Sunday.my mother got cursed for waking my dad...she walked three blocks to get her Friend to take her to the hospital.once i was born they did the usual.then they returned and all seemed well.on the day i went home to my family,my half brother stood over me cursing me,my father was mad that i cried.my father would run up to where i was sitting and act like he was going to hit me,this went on,and one day my mother hit him.i began to turn into a quiet child,infact some still talk about how it would seem as though i was not there.as i got older i felt fear when anyone raised their voice.so,i started hiding in a room that people generally did not go in.there i would play quietly.i never asked for anything.some of my mom`s Friend still talk about how i was such a"good child".i now know this is because i was and am autistic.i hated leaving the house,or specifically my safe room.when i went to my first day of school,i ran out trying to get home,i was caught,and made to sit by the teacher.for a few weeks this went on.when i came home i was usually the punching bag for my brother,and watched my mom and dad fight.i became a sort of nerd,i loved school,and i made good grades,but as far as having freinds,there never was any.then came the day that changed my whole life,we went to pick my dad up and were told he had been hurt,my mom took us to the hospital were they told us he would not make it through the night.i was scared that he would die.i should add my dad was not always a a-hole,there were good times,but,the truth is what it is.my dad pulled through.but things only got worse,he could not work.and he took his anger out on us.he and my half brother argued and my half brother took his frustrations out on me.he would throw me around like a rag doll.i actually prayed to god to kill me before i turned 18.but,worse was to come.the insurance cut my dad off,and would not settle his case .so for three years my mom worked,and my dad went in and out of the hospital.she did not get paid enough,we could not pay the rent,and we would get food out of the store dumpsters.this went on for years.then when i was 12,i went outside to play ball with my brother,and the bat broke.it impaled me in the middle of my neck and knocked me out and 7 feet back.i do not remember this.but,ever kid there said i qiut breathing.my brother carried me in the house,where my father shouted,he will be ok.my mom took one look,and i could see in her face it was really bad.she put me in the car ,and nearly ran over a guy stooped in the middle of the intersection.i arrived at the hospital,the stitched me up,and sent me home.no overnight observation,nothing.once home ,i went asleep.i do not remember anything for weeks.i did not know that this would throw me back,but it did.i woke up,and barely could make a whisper.i could not walk,or move.i went back to the dr,he looked me over,and gave me an antibiotic.for three months i was more less an infant.i could not eat solid food,or walk,talk.slowly i regained my ability.but,i was always in pain.the doctors said it was growing pain.my brother got a car for his 16 birthday,and was given money.but when i reached that age,i was just there,no party,no nothing.so my life had become what it is now,nothing.i have been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease,and what is called failed disc dissection.in english-3 failed back surgeries.when i turned 20,i found out the accident broke my neck in 2 places,and because of the lack of care,it has caused ddd in my neck ,back.i have trouble writing,walking.i still stay in a room alone.and i am rarely even acknowledged.my brother never speaks to me.i wished at times i would have died when i was 12
ghostofmyself ghostofmyself
36-40
1 Response May 19, 2012

I feel for ya.