Yup That's Me

Everything that is good will fall through my fingers and I know it's my fault so I don't want pity. I figured this time I had learned enough to know how to stop myself from ruining things but no, I haven't, I am still the same, making the same mistakes only this time I've really messed things up.
There is no point in forgiveness if I am alone, and I will be alone until the day I die, that is all that I can see right now. No matter how much I might love him it will not stop me from chasing him away and if I could just stop myself maybe I could have that kind of life I always wanted but I am so fed up with myself and I know I'm just not worth the effort anyway.
Forever kind of love will never find me, and if it does I will find a way to **** it up, so maybe I just should not try.
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May 20, 2012