When R & R Ends

          Today I took my soldier to the airport. He's been home from Iraq for nearly 2 weeks for his R&R. He's only 6 months into his tour, 8 months more till this one ends. While he was home he told me that his unit has agreed to deploy nearly immediatly after their return next Christmas. This tour is scheduled to be 14 months, his next is suppose to be about the same. That means that in 24 months we will have spent less then one month together. I'd be a dirty liar if I said this was easy. Those of you who know me, know this means I've been baking like crazy.. I haven't slept n 2 days being that I didn't want to waste any of his last moments here, and then I had to work all day today.. now I guess the only issue I have left is that my bed feels to empty. I just want to go to sleep and wake up to him being here again, but I'm not naive. I know that I have 8 long months aheaad of me. Then he'll be on the East coast ( I live on the West) for approximatly a month before deploying back to the sanddbox. I've never been a bitter or jealous person.. I am so proud of my soldier and everything he's doing. I have my very own hero who loves me more then anything. Not many people can say that. I'm very honored... but I don't want to be a liar.. some day I wake up and I hate this situation with everything I am. I want him here, I want to be selfish. It's hard to remember he's doing so much for so many people.

He's been gone 18hrs.. He should be somewhere in Kuait by now.. I'm still here, in my bed, where he's suppose to be.

Sometimes it's hard to remember to breath.

The moments that you can't breathe because the pain of the hurt is so bad. Breathe in, breathe out.. and trust that it will all end up okay. Count on it, enter in with blind faith, fingers crossed, believe in the goodness of people and the good of the world an that it will all be okay. It has to.
BrayLyn BrayLyn
22-25, F
1 Response Jun 9, 2010

I keep silently hoping that maybe just maybe my soldier's deployment will end early & that he will surprise me & show up, this is the first time I have gone through this, and he was home on his 2 week R&R at the end of March / beginning of April, but I was moving & had to work so I didn't get a lot of time with him, + his family lives 500 miles from here, but the 3 days that I got with him here right before he had to go back were the best 3 days of my life, I'm thinking that he has somewhere between 4 to 6 months left, but I don't know exactly because he wont give me a number or time, all I get from him or his mom is that he was there at Thanksgiving last year, how long before Thanksgiving? I have no idea, we weren't together when he deployed, but he has been the secret love of my life since I was 18. Anyhow, I hope it gets easier, it feels like some days are ok, not great but ok, the first week he was gone I felt like it was a dream, then I went in to a depression missing him like crazy, then it felt like it was a little easier for a few weeks, and now it feels like I'm never gonna see him again. & hearing songs like Just a Dream - Carrie Underwood, Traveling Soldier - Dixie Chicks, & Forever - Rascal Flatts don't help, those songs make me scared even more than I already am.